Some feedback would be appreciated

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Old 07 July 2012   #1
Some feedback would be appreciated

As I keep getting rejected with this piece in the finished section, what areas are the worst you think?

full size:
http://www.umbus.com/wp-content/gal...rk/artwork2.jpg

 
Old 07 July 2012   #2
This could use a better sense of depth by incorporating atmospheric perspective, since right now, you have a lot of contrast everywhere in the background structure and the foreground posts, and they just kind of blend together in terms of values/dynamic range.

What is the purpose of this image? What's the narrative behind it? Why is that character standing there with a lightsaber? What is that structure? What are we, the audience, supposed to be feeling about this scene? A sense of foreboding? Awe? Dispassionate observation? Are we supposed to identify emotionally with that character and feel what he feels?

A visual storyteller has to answer these questions for himself when he starts a piece of illustration in the initial idea stage, before he even puts a single line on the canvas. Know exactly what it is you want to convey, portray, and express, and you'll be able to do it far more effectively.
 
Old 07 July 2012   #3
I never gave that much of a description but I was thinking of a sense of danger, like being followed if that makes sense?
The initial stage had a slight different idea with a mechanic in the scene and these were floating power stations getting a repair by that mechanic, I think that still works though the power stations part.
I can see what you mean with the atmospheric perspective which could have been boosted more, I gave main focus to the middle structure (power station) as that's where I wanted people to look.
What are your thoughts technically speaking? Should I have been rendered it more?

Appreciate you taking the time, thank you.
 
Old 07 July 2012   #4
Robert thought the same thing I did... the highest contrast should go to your focal point... either the entrance or somewhere near your walking figure I would guess. The rest of the value relationships should be closer together so that they don't compete with your subject.
 
Old 07 July 2012   #5
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