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Old 11-01-2012, 12:43 PM   #31
molossus
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an update.
a bit of reflection in the water
allmost there. detailing just takes a lot of time. Perhaps it would have been faster in 3d...
I do think the main composition is there thought. I am gone accentuate some parts more because there is too much detail in the total picture.
Integrate her self perhaps a bit more.
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:08 PM   #32
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As you bring this to finish, watch your overall tonal composition with values. Right now, your composition doesn't have a clear visual design of values, with similar contrast value all over the entire image, and the scene is also lacking a sense of spatial depth, with the different planes in the z-depth all looking kind of flat and similar. The lighting is also diffused all over, which is fine in and of itself, but when you have the previously mentioned problems, it just compounds them.

Try looking at the image on an abstract level and think about where you want the brightest values, darkest values, middle values--not at the micro-level, but at the macro level of only the largest shapes. Don't only focus on the dynamic range of each small area or each larger shapes--pull back and consider the dynamic range and visual design of your tonal composition of the entire image as if there are no details but just simple shapes.
 
Old 11-04-2012, 08:08 PM   #33
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Thx for the critique Lunatique I tried to integrate it in the final image. Yup It's done. I took much longer then expected with up and down but had to finish it. I must say have some mixed feelings about this one some parts I like some I don't but learned a lot.
-Main thing I'learned is to make a sketch ahead like BillyWJ said. Instead of building further and further on a loose foundation. This would have solved a lot of depth issues.
-Use more reference for people still some weird stuff going with the lady.
-I am not sure if a lit background was a solution. I might have given to much detail if I compare with the early ones I kind off liked only focussing on the three.
But as I said it's done ande read to upload so here it is:

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Old 11-05-2012, 05:36 AM   #34
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Your brushwork needs a lot of work--it's currently got the "smudge-a-titus" disease I see so often in paintings, where everything is painted with that homogenized, soft, smudgy brushwork, regardless if the surface is rough and gravelly, dry and speckled, cracked and sharp, smooth and supple, soft and silky, etc--they're all painted the same way.

Work on your ability to deploy different brushwork for specific surface types and create an interesting variety that makes the painting much richer and more compelling.

Another problem is how every surface type has the same surface property with the same level of specularity, as if the entire scene is made of the same soft rubber material.

The main focus--the figure--also needs more work. The way she's lit isn't very convincing, with contradictory highlights and shadows. I recommend you shoot some proper references and set up the lighting as closely to your scene as possible (complete with colored gel), or do it virtually in 3D.

Yes, all the stuff I mentioned above is a lot of extra work, but if you want this painting to be better than it is, that's the effort you must make to push it beyond your current limitations as an artist and excel into the next phase of your artistic growth. Old masters used to spend years on a painting if that's what it took, and for personal works, I think it's fine since there's no deadline. Right now, you might be too close to it and have lost objectivity--this happens when you spend so long on a painting. Maybe let it sit for a few weeks or even months, and then pick up again and bring it to the next level.
 
Old 11-05-2012, 08:04 AM   #35
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Wow that's a lot of critique .
But I couldn't agree with you more. I wasn't even aware of the specularity and brushstrokes. It would make it more interesting to suggest more different kind of materials instead of rubber.
And yeah the figure was a pain from the beginning on. I even like the image more without her.
Something about the colors,pose and light that just wasn't right and fitting in the surroundings. Next time I will use more reference or just 3d.
Well I must say I had a feeling of being stuck somehow I guess I now have a direction to go in in order to improve. A good painting is nice but from a bad you learn more .
I don't think I will be working further upon this I think composition wise it's also boring and in some parts totally unreadable. Next time I'll sketch the whole thing first.
Thx for the critiques Lunatique it will really help in the futher and hope it can help some others too.
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Old 11-05-2012, 08:04 AM   #36
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