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Old 10-22-2012, 10:28 PM   #1
joelgray
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Judy over France

There are a few things about this composition that are bothering me but instead of sharing that with you folks I though I would just see what your thoughts were. I'm interested in comments that will help make this a stronger composition both in terms of color, light and composition.

I didn't create the model, but I re-textured it and everything else is painted and composited in Photoshop.
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Last edited by joelgray : 10-24-2012 at 01:46 AM.
 
Old 10-27-2012, 11:36 AM   #2
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The readability suffers a little due the way the tonal composition is laid out. The foreground plane's bottom is obscured by the black smoke, but the tail also happens to connect to the contour of the cloud shape on the left, while the landscape below is of a similar value as the plane, forming a low contrast area that's low in readability.

The left wing of the same plane also touches the some of the darker form shadows in the cloud formation, thus lowering the readability of the contour silhouette of that wing tip.

The other two planes don't have this issue--their silhouette contours read very clearly.
 
Old 10-29-2012, 04:18 PM   #3
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Thanks for the guidance and helpful comments. You pointed out all of the areas that were bothering me and then some! I'm still having trouble with the contrast between the plane, black smoke and the ground below. I guess I need to experiment with it more.

I also moved the camera back further and zoomed it back in to give the plane a more slim and orthographic appearance instead of a wide angle. The look is subtle but I think it works better.

Additional comments are welcome!

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Old 10-30-2012, 02:44 PM   #4
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The foreground plane's bottom area is still connected to the landscape below, and because the two areas are similar in values, the foreground plane's silhouette contour still doesn't read that clearly. Maybe you can have a bit of clouds cushion between the foreground plane and the landscape below, so the light value of the clouds will help the plane's bottom area's contour read more clearly?
 
Old 10-30-2012, 05:11 PM   #5
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I was so fixated on preserving the ground that it didn't occur to me that I could just add more clouds (the earth is important because the area on the ground beneath the tail is roughly where the plane crash landed). I'll experiment with this more this afternoon. Thanks!
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:06 PM   #6
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Finally had time to make revisions.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:51 AM   #7
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The foreground plane reads much better now.

I forgot to mention another issue I noticed previously--the two background planes form very similar distances to the foreground plane, locking up the eye movement of the viewer a bit. You might want to either move one of the planes as well as change its size, so you break up that matching aspect.
 
Old 11-13-2012, 01:51 AM   #8
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