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Old 02-09-2014, 06:19 AM   #16
editablepauly
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Paul Wilson
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yeah, I would vote to get rid of the leaping mouse. It isn't adding much to your image and its awkwardness, though slight, detracts a bit.

chiaroscuro would look very nice in this image. I would definitely look into some DOF but you can do that at the end.
 
Old 02-10-2014, 02:24 AM   #17
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Lets try this.

 
Old 02-10-2014, 05:12 AM   #18
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I like the look of this much better. my eyes went pretty much directly to the book, followed by the mouses face then to the bird. I think it helps your scene to tell its story. Although the back wall still needs some work detail wise (only because of weakness by comparrison to the rest of your scene), it seems like your getting close to a good looking finished piece.

edit: just looked some more at it. my eyes are travelling from the moon to the inner face of the window first. I would darken the moonlit face of the window a little. It is competing with the birds face as well as the book.

happy tweeking

another edit: you can probably improve the back wall by just putting a photo texture on your rock and another on your morter. then just use your texture as a bump to add a little more surface relief. that way you could just leave your wall model the way it is and not worry about displacement.

Last edited by editablepauly : 02-10-2014 at 05:25 AM.
 
Old 02-10-2014, 06:12 PM   #19
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editablepauly I took your suggestions on the wall using the real rock texture with some photoshop editing afterwards.
I dulled the brightness on the window rim also seeing the same problem as you.


 
Old 02-10-2014, 06:20 PM   #20
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Kiadaw Phua
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vast improvement from the last time I see. Keep it up!
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Old 02-11-2014, 01:17 AM   #21
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hope you dont mind



sorry for the draw over, its just easier for me to critique an image if i am able to snoop around it a bit.

I was curious what your image would look like with some depth of field so I photoshopped some in. I also made the background more blue and the foreground more red from the candle. Looking at it now, I think if you used a lighter plummage for the bird it would easily stand out from your background.

I also did a cross processing effect with the histogram in photoshop on the blue channel ( you just make a point in the center of the graph and pull down on either the front or the back to make an s) I like to do this for stuff that doesn't need to be super accurate color wise.

hope it helps. fun image !

edit: also for some reason the nautilus shell stands out, I think it is just because the rest of the images geometry is so smooth and the nautilus appears to have visible facets.

Last edited by editablepauly : 02-11-2014 at 01:25 AM.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 09:30 AM   #22
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I like the idea of making the bird stand out more with a bluer hue.

As for the Depth of field I don't know if I like it. It doesn't make sense to me and makes the wall seem really far away but isn't, so it is confusing my eyes.

As for the shell it is supposed to be a fossil and I wanted to portray a stoniness to it. They are still pretty round even fossilized I know but I was hoping the rough edges would convey that hey its a rock not a genuine shell feel.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 09:30 AM   #23
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