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Old 08-31-2013, 06:41 PM   #16
the-small-print
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Aran Yardley
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Interesting. There are definite areas of improvement in this one, especially the sunlight on the hair, the nearest shoulder and the back of the left leg, but this image has some underlying problems that can't be fixed by polishing it. This is why I suggested flipping the image, and also zooming way out works too. Your eye should pick up if something doesn't look right.

Basically, you're still inventing rather than drawing from reference, and it looks like you've picked out references for small areas like the hair and spent a long time working on them but don't have anything to go on for the macro level. I think you've learned all you can from this and I'd suggest you start a new image from a good reference photo. You don't have to do a direct copy of it, but it should contain enough information for you to be able to see what's happened when something doesn't look right.

More general suggestions would be to avoid soft brushes until you know what you're doing. They can be used well, but they tend to just smudge and muddy an image when they're used to save time. Practice using hard round brushes on 20-30% opacity and blend your colours manually. You'll get a much subtler finish and better colour gradients. Might seem like it takes longer but it takes a lot less time than trying to work out why your soft brush areas don't look right.

The same is true of your clouds. Although there's some really nice colour mixing and texture in there, the overall structure is missing, so it ends up looking feathery. Try being a bit bolder when you're mapping out the image initially e.g. "this big splotch here is one cloud, this one's another", then add detail refine as you go along, and leave the texturing and floaty bits for final touches. This also applies to hair. Like I said, the sunlight on the hair is the best element of the picture, but it should also be a finishing touch, because the hair is missing structure underneath the detail. Go for bold strokes to start with, defining largish locks, and add the wispy bits later.

Pose and anatomy has got better in some areas and worse in others. It's kind of a shame to cover up that nice musculature on her back, and her arms are quite nicely done, except for that worrying finger on the bottle hand, but you've lost some form on the far edges of her leg and her breast by making them large pale areas. This makes them seem to come forward towards the viewer when actually they are receding away from us, and the lack of colour variation there suggests they're mostly flat, when they should be curved. The previous one had a nice clean line on the left leg, and a rounder breast (partially suggested by the shading on her bra).

Finally, the face is still a collection of mismatched features rather than parts of a skull. The shading and anatomy is better but still far from perfect. She may not have such a stretched head now but she still has a very thin face, and her eyes are pointing in different directions. When you do eyes, cover up one half of the face and get an idea of where that eye is pointing, then cover up the other half instead. The other eye should be looking at the same thing, and it's not here. Her right eye is looking at the camera, and the left one is looking off down the beach.

So yes, the main message from this is work on getting your underlying structures to look right before you get onto detailing. Try to make a picture as simple as possible and make sure it looks right flipped and zoomed out before you proceed. And I'll say again, you'd do best to leave this painting and start a new one, because fixing something with bad fundamentals is a hundred times harder than starting again and doing it right the first time. So pick a pretty reference photo with good colour and composition and work from that. If you want to make it into a fantasy character feel free to try, but make sure that underneath that character is a real human being, with correct anatomy and lighting. You will learn a LOT more quickly than you will if you try to work out of your imagination.

Hope this is helpful! If it seems a bit harsh, well, it's not meant that way - rather honest. And if I thought there was no hope for you I wouldn't bother offering my critique!
 
Old 09-02-2013, 05:34 AM   #17
enis
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really thanks for the comments from Aran Yardley.
the most problem is my poor English.LOL

I know nothing more can do for it.
so I will take these comments to the next one,
start from the simple picture to learn.

change a little bit.↓


I never thought it will be so difference.


.
 
Old 09-03-2013, 10:11 AM   #18
the-small-print
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Aran Yardley
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Glad I could be of some help

I can see you're definitel learning from your earlier paintings, so I expect the next one will be better again. Remember, keep trying and keep improving!

Oh and just to re-state: try to be confident with your brush. If something doesn't look right, don't be afraid to just scrub it and do it again rather than keep tweaking. Good luck!
 
Old 09-14-2013, 02:18 AM   #19
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When the head turns like that, the neck will have creases in the skin. Get in front of the mirror and try it and you'll see. You have to start using proper references for every thing you do, not just partially in specific areas only. For example, you obviously used reference for her hand, but then you didn't for her neck. Why? Also, turning the head that much is extremely uncomfortable, and it looks too contrived. Whenever you depict a pose, ALWAYS try the pose yourself in front of the mirror and see how it feels and looks.

The perspective of her sleeve appears to be facing the wrong direction. Even her bracelet contradicts the sleeve.

Her nose bridge seems to connect straight to her forehead without the natural turning of angle at the brow ridge.

Her breast is not shaped correctly, as if it's growing out the side from her rib-cage, instead of from the front of her chest.

The most significant problem you have right now, is you are not using proper references. You need to use the mirror all the time and shoot your own photo references. Using references that are from other people is never the best source, because as soon as you need to deviate from the reference, you're screwed, and would have to go hunt down more references to match the deviations you've taken. You might as well shoot your own references so you can get EXACTLY what you need (the pose, the lighting, the clothing, the expression, etc).
 
Old 01-30-2014, 01:36 AM   #20
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Here I am,
I know the angle is not correct for two of them,
Hope the water save them.

The light is most difficult things in the work.
the sunset ,the water, the skin of people in the water...
I really do lots work on them and it's work out!


Thanks for any comment!
WIP
 
Old 02-10-2014, 04:45 AM   #21
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The way the clouds on both sides slant at an angle towards the sun looks a bit too unnatural/contrived. Try to change the cloud shapes so the formation is more natural looking.

Her shoulder looks too rigid and does not seem to take into consideration that the shoulder movement is not just one single socket. The shoulder movement actually has two pivot points--one that connects to the collarbone and shoulder blade and centers at the sternum area, and the other is where people typically think where the shoulder joint is.

Her breast also doesn't look quite natural either. When a woman lays on her tummy like that, her breast is usually squashed, and this is very obvious. If you have a girlfriend or wife, have her model for you. If not, even just photos on the web can show you this clearly. The only way her breast would look like that is if it's not pushed against something at all, which might be possible depending on how she's laying on top of him.

The lighting's main issue here, is that this is a back-lit scene, yet you didn't light the subjects like one. They need to look more like dark silhouettes, since there are no light sources coming from the viewer's direction to light them up so brightly (unless there's a big photography reflector or mirror on the side of the viewer, which of course, would be ludicrous for this scene, since this is not a photography setup). In paintings, naturalism is the common expectation, and trying to mimic the way photographers light a scene in an unnatural manner (such as using reflectors or flashlight) will almost always look too artificial.
 
Old 02-12-2014, 05:14 PM   #22
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Thanks to the comment from Lunatique,
you always give me many points I couldn't found before,

Her breast...was squashed actually from the be genning...
the WIP showed that...I don't know what happened to my brain?
It's a big shame to let the stupid thing happen to the final color.

I don't think too much about the light issue before you've told me that will make it unnatural manner,I just don't want her face so darkly when I was painted.

But the most important things is do the right thing,not so unnatural like artificial one.
""Make it natural""
I've learn this big point from this work,

thanks again!!!
 
Old 02-12-2014, 05:14 PM   #23
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