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Old 02-05-2013, 08:45 AM   #1
JeffPerryman
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The Suicide King




Well it was suggested that I submit my latest piece for critique in an effort to improve. I am always looking for ways to improve my work. This piece does not currently live up to the standards of this site and so I look to you to help make this a much stronger work. Other than changing my style I am not sure what I can do to push it further, and so I am hoping you all have some good ideas.


I am working in Flash and was looking for a kind of two-tone shaded cel look.

Any and all suggestions and ideas are welcomed and I want you to tear it apart and be honest with me.
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Old 02-07-2013, 01:48 PM   #2
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So i look at this a -long- time. I too wondered.

Then i thought, that in a playing card you only see the side on of the face, not as is.
Then i thought, with the two hands in the center he could be be tearing his heart apart, so whould you need the swords?
Then i thought, if you want the swords, why aren't they stabbing the heart?

All of these thoughts, make me think, why? whats the thematic that i'm being exposed to, why is he stabbing his head, when he IS the king of hearts.

If the Jack ran off / etc with the queen, wouldn't it be his heart that was broken?

And that kind of story is -not- what i'm seeing.

And I -really- hope that helps you.
 
Old 02-08-2013, 09:03 PM   #3
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Thank you, Cojam, for your thought and effort in analyzing my work. I appreciate it deeply.



Here is some information on my thoughts to go with your observations.By tradition, you are correct; the King of hearts is looking to one side. I turned him for a funnier take on his expression. The rest of the piece is just a play on the traditional King of Hearts or the “Suicide King” as it is known for the fact that this king has a sword drawn behind his head. There really was no effort on my part to create a deeper visual story than that and that could be why the piece is not very well received.

Your observations could well be the idea I need to make this a better piece should I decide to start over. Again, thank you.
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Old 02-08-2013, 09:03 PM   #4
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