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Old 03-27-2013, 01:02 AM   #1
Dya
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Mahmoud Benameur
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Red face Critique please

Hey there everyone;
I'd like you all to take a look at the following image and let me know how i can improve it or if there are any problems with it. I've recently submitted to the CG gallery but unfortunatly it was declined, along with a few other illustrations of mine. For the moment i'm not really sure how i can improve them ( a part from the contrast that doesn't seem strong enough) .
I'd really appreaciate it if you could take a look at my other works too and offer me with as much criticism as possible. Thanks
http://features.cgsociety.org/newga...7823_medium.jpg




Last edited by Dya : 03-27-2013 at 01:08 AM. Reason: Elements not present
 
Old 03-27-2013, 02:53 PM   #2
ZombieMariachis
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You've got some nice action going on and the overall color palate works well for the piece. One note on color/value though. Unless your light source is pure white, avoid using pure white for any highlights. Sometimes you can make it work if the light source is especially intense, but it just feels a little out of place in this piece.

As for why the piece may have been rejected from the gallery. My first impression is that the foreground characters are still in the sketch/concept stage. The background is fully rendered with a lot of thought put into the flat surfaces and rounded forms of the structures, and how light plays off them. The foreground characters are mainly described by their line-art. I think you would do a lot of good for this piece if you were to just go ahead and paint out all the line-art. Treat the entire foreground like you did the red cape of the jumping figure on the right. Or at least paint the line-art with a local color and value appropriate for each subject. You've done that in some areas of the line-art, but then you left it really black on areas of skin that are in direct sunlight.

Still though, I think you've got a pretty nice illustration here. You just stopped a little too soon.
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:04 AM   #3
Lunatique
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If I had to guess, I'd say it was because of the composition. The three figures in the scene are spaced equally apart, lacking a sense of natural flow in how the eyes read this image.
 
Old 04-05-2013, 07:42 AM   #4
TheArtySquid
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Hello Dya

I'd say composition as well. One thing that strikes me is that it took a conscious effort to actually watch the man in the middle. Due to their swords and attitudes, my eyes tend to simply go back and forth between the jumping men and ignore the third. There lacks a visual guide that would make my gaze circle between the three figures.

Additionnally, not all of the perspective works. Nothing's blatantly wrong, but there are some elements that do not obey to the overal vanishing points; namely, the vertical pillars in the bottom right corner don't work well with the building behind them, and the middle left platform might lack some depth compared to the one in the foreground.
Your picture would gain in quality and unity if you strengthened that perspective. By this I don't mean you should trace everything with a ruler and mathematic precision (that's what 3D is for), but it should at least be close enough to the actual thing to avoid this feeling that something's not quite right.
 
Old 06-06-2013, 09:00 AM   #5
Dya
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Mahmoud Benameur
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Great advice

Now that you think about it, the composition is rather off. Its been long since i looked at this illustration (purposfully) just so i can understand where you guys are coming from and to get an objective look on things. Thank you all for your support, its much appreciated.
 
Old 06-06-2013, 09:00 AM   #6
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