CGTalk > WIP > WIP/Critique: 3D
Login register
Thread Closed share thread « Previous Thread | Next Thread »  
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 02-01-2013, 09:32 AM   #1
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
Any tips to improve my piece ?

Hi everyone , i'm working on a piece ( a wizard house ) that i plain to add in a video later in this style : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCIHFWH6vuI

i used some basic modeling technique , and for the lighting i want to have that blue moon light , so i used 3 cool vray planar light , and a spot in the front to have a warm light , i don't know if its good or not , i' waiting for your suggestion ( and sorry for my English )




Last edited by dragonkille : 02-01-2013 at 09:44 AM. Reason: writing mistake
 
Old 02-01-2013, 11:37 AM   #2
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
step 2

so this is the matte painting i did , and that i will add to the composition in after effect , i know its not good yet but its my first one
 
Old 02-01-2013, 01:13 PM   #3
Kev3D
Agent
 
Kev3D's Avatar
portfolio
Kevin Russell
3D Artist
Kevisual
London, GB
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,761
Send a message via MSN to Kev3D
The building looks cool and quirky, I wonder if you could push the quirkiness a bit further though? Maybe have the top levels on a bit of an angle, make the door frame a bit lob-sided, things like that.

The texture for the dark wood seems a bit too rough and also has obvious tiling, especially around the door frame. The lighter coloured wood seems much nicer although I can see some tiling there too.

The building does not appear to be sitting very nicely in the environment, it looks too big, tilted down towards camera and too saturated. The night for day conversion on the background needs some work too, it should be darker and blue-er.

Keep at it!
__________________
3D Reel, Photography and Blog
 
Old 02-01-2013, 03:20 PM   #4
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
thank you

thank's for your advices , i tried to hide the tile a little bit , and also i pushed the quirkiness a bit further without changing a lot from the model :
 
Old 02-01-2013, 03:25 PM   #5
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
environment

Also , for the environment , is that okay now ?
 
Old 02-01-2013, 04:32 PM   #6
Kev3D
Agent
 
Kev3D's Avatar
portfolio
Kevin Russell
3D Artist
Kevisual
London, GB
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,761
Send a message via MSN to Kev3D
The new building is an improvement.

The colours in the environment seem a bit add to me, it should be more blue instead of green. It should also be darker overall. I don't know if you plan on putting a sky in later but at the moment it is too bright.

Bits of scenery closer to the camera should have the biggest contrast and the blackest blacks. You have items in the foreground that have less contrast than the mountains behind them.
__________________
3D Reel, Photography and Blog
 
Old 02-01-2013, 05:34 PM   #7
leigh
blahblah
 
leigh's Avatar
CGSociety Staff
portfolio
Leigh van der Byl
A cog in the wheel
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 29,791
I like the design of the hut, but I think you could do a lot more with the textures and shading. It looks like the entire object is using the same shader which makes all the different surfaces look the same - add some variation. Wood should have a different quality to stone, and so on. With the textures, these could be developed a lot further to be more detailed and fitting to the geometry details themselves. Try rendering an occlusion map and then using that as a base for adding some dirt and stuff that will enhance the shapes of the structure themselves. Occlusion in this way is really useful for cartoony stuff because of the way it defines the shapes and gives things a slight storybook feel.

I'm going to be brutally honest and say the environment is really poor quality. I'd totally lose it and find or create something completely new, because there is just no way that environment is ever going to work. The scale is bizarre, the colours unattractive, there's no atmosphere and the blurry bit on the left is downright unsightly. I think your hut would be much more suited to a forest environment with some moody lighting.
__________________
leighvanderbyl.com
 
Old 02-04-2013, 10:21 AM   #8
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
thanks

thank you guys for your time and advises , finally i think i will put the house on a real 3d environment instead of that matte painting , which will give me more control about what i do , i will improve the materials and texture and upload an update soon , thanks again
 
Old 02-12-2013, 10:50 AM   #9
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
litlle uppdate

This is it , i finally had a little bit of time , i put the house in a more convenient environment , waiting for your critique , also i need to find a good lighting to the scene , thing i'm working on
 
Old 02-18-2013, 05:48 PM   #10
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
last update

Hi everyone , so this is the last update of my Wizzyhouse , any advice or critique ?
 
Old 02-18-2013, 06:21 PM   #11
d4rk3lf
Expert
 
d4rk3lf's Avatar
portfolio
Boban Krsmanovic
Nis, Serbia
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 608
I think I like most, the very first version you posted.
Even it's without textures, the shading look better then you have later.

As for the last render, I think you need some better (more interesting) composition, and also, more interesting background. Remove Dof, it doesn't look very natural. The glow in front is confusing, and it distracts from your house.
The problem that I often see in 3d art, is that most of the people is lacking traditional art knowledge (including me). That's being said, I strongly suggest you to read some traditional art stuff about composition(rule of thirds, for example), about color harmony, about various surface properties (that will help you make a better materials)... etc.

Your grass needs some translucency, and also, why don't you put in there some mashroom, roots of the tree, maybe some flowers, snail.. etc?
__________________
Now it's the time to be extreme!
Demoreel
website
 
Old 02-19-2013, 11:52 AM   #12
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
thanks for your time man , i can't disagree with you about the composition , now the next step is to make the illustration more fun to read , i will also add some element ( mushrooms , here i come ) and try to not make the scene full of useless elements
thanks again
Anass
 
Old 02-19-2013, 12:38 PM   #13
Pyke
White Zulu
 
Pyke's Avatar
portfolio
Christopher Bischoff
Lead artist & game designer.
The Brotherhood
Johannesburg, South Africa
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,562
Send a message via MSN to Pyke

I think you need to take a step back from the environment and carry on with the modeling of the building.

I see that you are going for a 'small' house. Something you can look at doing, to show the scale, is to build the house up out of natural objects of a 'known size'.

Make it much more irregular, adding it bark, leaves, and actually growing moss over certain areas.







You also need some awesome dirt and grime on the house. I would imagine that a house that exists, surrounded on all sides by nature, would get rather dirty!
 
Old 02-21-2013, 12:01 PM   #14
dragonkille
New Member
 
dragonkille's Avatar
portfolio
anass dgkille
casablanca, Morocco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
thnks

thanks Pyke for taking time to look for some inspirational pieces for me , i have changed the composition and add some elements so it can look really small . i tried t use sss for translucency but it wasn't good , must practice it more , also i think i will add some dit in the post production part ( note that the render isn't th final one , no post production yet ) :
 
Old 02-21-2013, 12:01 PM   #15
CGTalk Moderation
Lord of the posts
CGTalk Forum Leader
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,066,480
Thread automatically closed

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.
__________________
CGTalk Policy/Legalities
Note that as CGTalk Members, you agree to the terms and conditions of using this website.
 
Thread Closed share thread


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
CGSociety
Society of Digital Artists
www.cgsociety.org

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright 2000 - 2006,
Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Minimize Ads
Forum Jump
Miscellaneous

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.