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Old 01-12-2014, 07:37 PM   #1
splinterD
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daniel dulitzky
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back from work

this little piece took me over a week , a couple of hours every day after work
hope you like it

https://www.behance.net/gallery/Back-From-Work/13638861
 
Old 01-13-2014, 10:19 PM   #2
Steee
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I like it!

I like the shape of the fingers, but i can't decide if he's about to light his pipe (no smoke), or he's just lit it and is about to flick the match, because to me it looks like he's gonna flick it.

Just a few questions tho. It's Quarter to Twelve by the clock. What's he doing relaxing with a pipe at home when he's dressed for work?

The more important question though is, Whats in that pipe? hehe
 
Old 01-13-2014, 11:57 PM   #3
splinterD
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all good questions .
the original idea was that he got out early from work by saying hes sick to get to an empty house with kids at school and wife at work .
just to have some time to go to the bath room quietly and have a few hours of doing nothing
for no one .

i chose originally not to address it because i didn't want to put anyone to sleep .


about the pipe and if its before or after , i suppose it doesn't really matter
maybe he was so relaxed he forgot to light it up , maybe hes just before , or just after ...
it wasn't the main point of the story or the painting .

but the sad truth is , i forgot to take care of it and the dead line i chose was up .
so i just let it go...

thanks for the comments , i appreciate you took the time to write
and he can have in the pipe what ever you want
 
Old 01-23-2014, 03:54 AM   #4
Lunatique
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Robert Chang
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I like the stylization.

There are a few composition/readability issues I noticed.

Although I know you were trying to create a quirky look with skewed perspective, it doesn't work very well because the way you've done it looks inconsistent, with some parts adhering to perspective and some parts skewed, which makes the skewed parts look like mistakes instead of intentional. I think it's better to be consistently accurate or consistently skewed all over.

The right hand's fingers right next to the doorknob forms a pattern that looks too distinct and pulls away the viewer's attention a bit too much.

The way the pipe overlaps the door window isn't idea. Try to alter things so that you get a cleaner overlap/silhouette shape. Same with his little hat's value being so close to the ceiling--it's not good for readability.

The bottom/right of the window frame, the bottom/left of the picture frame, and the orange lampshade?) are all bunched together compositionally, either unintentionally touching their contour edges or resting them against each other. This is a big nono for composition. Either break them apart or overlap them more prominently.

Your cast shadows need to be more consistent. Shadows do not add, so your cast shadows should be the same value all over, with only shifts due to ambient bounced light filling in some areas.

Last edited by Lunatique : 01-25-2014 at 01:57 AM.
 
Old 01-23-2014, 11:36 AM   #5
splinterD
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daniel dulitzky
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wow thanks man !
that's allot of tips , thank you
do you happen to have a link to some written material regarding all that specific comments ?
i never heard about allot of them and would love to read about it more so i can adopt it
after understanding them better.
 
Old 01-25-2014, 02:02 AM   #6
Lunatique
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All the stuff I mentioned are part of the foundation of visual art, and any advanced art educator with the right level of experience should know it and be able to teaching it.

I do teach a workshop right here at CGSociety called "Becoming A Better Artist," which covers all the critical foundation as well as advanced creative concepts. You can find out more from the link below in my signature.
 
Old 01-25-2014, 12:50 PM   #7
splinterD
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thanks again , ill look into it
 
Old 01-25-2014, 12:50 PM   #8
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