CGTalk > Work in Progress and Critique > WIP/Critique: 2D
To minimize the ads you see on this page create a CGTalk account and log in HERE
Thread Closed share thread « Previous Thread | Next Thread »  
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-05-2013, 05:59 AM   #1
brant-loser
New Member
portfolio
brant Yang
shanghai, CN
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 16
the holy war-- critique please


this was done for my personal project. My friend and i was trying to create a religion. We have created our own language and made stories. This is the first painting we have, trying to create a fight scene between machines and flesh, and those little writings have meanings. i need some advice on how to improve this style and which part of this painting doesnt make sense, thanks!

here's my DA page: brant-loser.deviantart.com
if you can go to my page to see more of my work and give me advice on how to improve myself, i will really appreciate it!

Last edited by brant-loser : 10-05-2013 at 07:37 AM.
 
Old 10-07-2013, 09:13 AM   #2
Anaxa
Veteran
portfolio
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 35
Watch your gestures. Other than throwing their arms around, they're very static. They don't even really look like they're fighting. Look at you tube videos of martial arts, football match, etc. to get more of an idea of what their gestures should be.

I looked at your deviantart. I think you have loads of potential, and you've improved a lot within a year. But, all your pictures take place in a void of space, or in a very plain environment. Most of your characters stand in this space and look out of the picture, full body, single character, 0* perspective, front on or three quarter. This is not a bad thing, but you can work on making your environments MORE than just a stage for your characters, and you could vary your treatment of your characters.
 
Old 10-08-2013, 05:46 AM   #3
Lunatique
Pragmatic Dreamer
 
Lunatique's Avatar
CGTalk Forum Leader
portfolio
Robert Chang
Artist|Writer|Composer
Photographer|Director
Lincoln, USA
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 8,640

The lighting looks good.

Compositionally, this is a bit boring--just a canvas divided into left and right halves by the characters, and that's a bit too basic. You said you guys made up stories for this, so why not include more of the premise into this visual narrative? What kind of world is this? Who are these two characters? What kind of environment are they in? Why are they fighting, and how did this fight start? Is this fight the beginning, middle or climax of the narrative? Is there a clear protagonist/antagonist relationship?

Anaxa is right about the poses--they don't look very interesting. They're just posing with their arms raised instead of actually doing something, like landing a punch, blocking an attack, grasping for the throat, etc. It's just like the fighting choreography in movies--the fight has to be interesting for the audience to look at, and the moves have to look logical and with enough force/impact to look like the character are really trying to hurt each other (instead of only posing for the camera).

It's very important to learn to think like a visual storyteller that communicates ideas clearly, instead of only someone that makes pretty pictures. Try to think more like a movie director when you start working on an image--think about the story, the characters, the premise, the scene, the emotions, etc.
 
Old 10-08-2013, 09:44 AM   #4
brant-loser
New Member
portfolio
brant Yang
shanghai, CN
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 16
Thanks to both of you! I really appreciate your advice! I will try to work on my storytelling mind in the future! Try to think more before I start.
 
Old 10-08-2013, 09:44 AM   #5
CGTalk Moderation
Lord of the posts
CGTalk Forum Leader
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,066,481
Thread automatically closed

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.
__________________
CGTalk Policy/Legalities
Note that as CGTalk Members, you agree to the terms and conditions of using this website.
 
Thread Closed share thread


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
CGSociety
Society of Digital Artists
www.cgsociety.org

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright 2000 - 2006,
Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Minimize Ads
Forum Jump
Miscellaneous

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.