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Old 05-21-2013, 05:25 PM   #1
cheunchin
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Vespa girl -

Commission work for Vespa shop in Bangkok thailand
first time post and drawing mechanic
Comment s most welcome

 
Old 05-27-2013, 03:22 AM   #2
Lunatique
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Robert Chang
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I'ts a catchy image with an fun style, but I think some of your stylistic choices detract from the image instead of enhancing it.

-Her toes are a bit too exaggerated and angular, lacking the feminine shapes that would be more suitable. The shoe also looks strange--the foot doesn't fit into it correctly.

-The shadows on her legs are a bit arbitrary and don't seem to follow logic in terms of how form shadows are supposed to behave. Her left calf/shin area's form shadow doesn't conform to the actual form of her leg. Cylindrical shapes need to have consistent form shadow on the unlit side, and the way you arbitrarily shifted that shadow at an angle instead of continuing along the length of her shin, is as if you're trying to say her shin has been crushed and flattened instead of a cylindrical shape.

-The squiggly terminator/dark reflection on her legs also look random and more like a stylistic excess instead of logical. And if we look at the whole image, it's quite inconsistent how you're depicting the lighting and suggested reflections.

-Are her brows truncated on purpose? They seem unnaturally short, as if the outer half has been shaved off.

-The cleavage area looks odd--there's an extra line there. The shape of her left breast also doesn't look natural--it's more like a botched plastic surgery, with the breast looking too hard and not malleable enough.

-Outlining the hairline with a darker color is a bad idea--it looks unnatural and as if her hair had been carved out like a Halloween pumpkin.

-Why not have her hair band be a different color? Right not it just blends right into her hair and lacks readability. Maybe a teal color?
 
Old 05-27-2013, 04:01 AM   #3
cheunchin
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Thank you for you reply and very helpful comment, i ll keep in mind and fix these in my on going work
(this one s send to client already and i just forgot to color her hair band , its been done before send)


i m not native speaking so my english s quite awful
but i want u to know that this your first reply my first pic in ths community, just mean so much to me sir, its keep me going on and on

Last edited by cheunchin : 05-27-2013 at 04:07 AM.
 
Old 05-27-2013, 04:01 AM   #4
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