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Old 02-20-2013, 06:13 AM   #16
Atlanca
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Yes, the others mentioed most of it, but you also forgot to add cast shadow on the pillow shes sitting at, theres cast shadow on her leg but it dissappears on the pillow. Also make the pillow feel softer, she's gotta sink into it a bit. Not really sure about the "panties" i think you need some cast shadow from it too. And it being bound aroud the hip, it has to sink into the flesh a little bit. Cast shadow from her left arm (our right) on her foot? and the pillow and the block thing shes sitting on as well.

About the hair, it feels like it's made of soft material, har should be shiny, especially with that kind of lighting add some dark values and get a reference on blonde hair.

One last thing, would those pillows below her right(our left) elbow really support her weight like that? If I try to sit like that I fall off to the side abit, but I'm not entirely sure about this.

Well, just my 2 cents. Otherwise I really liked the lighting and the eyes ^^ Anatomy could be worked on, but it's not bad! The hands are well done as well, maybe a bit big but yeah.
 
Old 02-21-2013, 07:55 AM   #17
Lunatique
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Are you using references for this? There are some anatomy issues that would be helped by having proper references (and I don't mean piecing together various photos to form an Frankenstein). Shoot some references of yourself or friend/family with this exact lighting (preferably with similar setup of props too) and you'll have a much more solid base to work from.

Her breasts seem a bit high, due to the fact that the perspective of her upper torso being incorrect. According to the overall torso, her upper torso should be leaning forward some, but how you've placed her collarbones, it's as if her torso suddenly bent back once past the starting of her rib cage.

Her lower torso also seems a bit skewed, as if the right side (her right) is a little short (even considering she's got that leg up).

Her face's structure looks off too (her right facial contour), as if the area below her right cheek has caved in, including the jawline.

Her hands are too big--especially her left hand. Usually a hand fully extended would be the length from the chin to the middle of forehead. This kind of standard proportion is really important to memorize, because they allow you to be able to draw figures correctly even without references.

Her right deltoid needs to be rotated to the left (our left). Her left deltoid looks a bit suspect too. You should check anatomy resources on how the deltoid really connects to the bicep at those angles of arm rotation.

BTW, in case you weren't aware, the girl in your avatar--her neck is broken. This is a common mistake I see artists make, including professional artists who are quite well-known. For some reason, people tend to rotate the head way too much when depicting someone looking back. You pretty much can't rotate a head past 90 degrees in the Y axis, or the neck will break. That girl's neck's pushed just beyond the breaking point by about ten degrees. Her neck's also a bit too long.

Probably more information than you needed/wanted, but I thought you might want to know, and alleviate her neck pains.
 
Old 03-02-2013, 04:02 AM   #18
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Alright! I had to take notes, but I think I've addressed everything. Breaking out Photoshop's other tools and adding more layers to make corrections. Now I'm really glad I didn't go the traditional route!

Alecrim:
*Large hands--Fixed
*Hair reflection--Originally, I was going for an effect in which her hair seemed to glow, almost as if it were luminescent. If I give it real shadows like natural blonde hair will have, it will ruin that effect. However, I did push both the shadows and highlights and I agree, it gives it more depth.
*Diffusing cleavage, breast shape--Oh gosh! Not the square breasts! >_< Hopefully that is fixed!

Patsa53:
*Facial proportions--Thank you for the detailed explanation. I actually had several photo references for the face, but I've tweaked it according to your suggestions. Hopefully, it's enough.

TheArtySquid:
*Angle of neck--I'm really not seeing this one. Does it still look off after all the other corrections?
*Lower right arm and shoulder--I noticed the hair created an illusion of a sharper curve than there actually was. Following your suggestion got rid of it, I think.
*Fill out belly--Check

Atlanca:
*Cast shadows--I know about the missing drop shadows. That's intentional. It's one of the rules of the universe in which the girl lives.
*Cast shadow on leg--I was originally thinking her arm would go behind her foot, but upon studying it further, I've added a drop-shadow to the toes.
*Pillow "seat"--This one I intended to be kind of flat like the green one beneath it. With that in mind, does it still need work? I have sunk her raised leg a little, but without cast shadows, it might not be immediately obvious. Dipped the corner beneath her thigh to indicate pressure there as well.
*Panties issue--Tweeked it a little.
*Dark value in hair--Done. See responce to Alecrim for further notes
*Support pillows--That has bothered me from the beginning and I'm not sure what to do about it other than some major overhaul and I'm not willing to do that at this point.

Lunatique:
Oh geez! You don't hold back at all, do you? lol.
*Use of reference--Well...yes and no. I made much use of an anatomy book and several photos, as well as a life sketch. So, probably not what you'd consider proper reference.
*Lower breasts/tilt torso/short on one side--I think these are all interconnected. The effect may come from the fact that the crease in the side of her torse that she should have from such a sharp curve seemed unsightly to me. Now, I think, maybe it's not so bad. See if this helps.
*Right side of face--Not entirely sure what you're talking about here, but maybe it looks better after fixing Patsa's suggestion.
*Right (and left?) deltoid--Oops! That was an accident. I know better than that!
*Girl in the avatar--Hey now! :P Okay, fine. I'll see what I can do about that, too. It's all traditional, though, so I'll have to make digital edits. FYI, ten-year-old coffee and tea smells really bad after it's brewed. >_<

Thank so much, everyone! <3

Here's a new update:
 
Old 03-02-2013, 07:16 PM   #19
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Derp! I totally forgot to raise her cheekbone with the rest of her facial features. Updated portrait:
 
Old 03-04-2013, 02:56 PM   #20
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Hey DorothyTRose

Her mouth still need to be lower or closer to the chin in vertical position. If not it's anatomical not possible.
 
Old 03-04-2013, 02:56 PM   #21
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