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Old 02-01-2013, 08:56 PM   #1
Jmike
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Jason Dormier
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Enviroment Tree House Concept Honest Crits Needed.

Would love to get some crits and opinions, so I can have a better idea of where I need to improve.


Last edited by Jmike : 02-06-2013 at 03:36 AM.
 
Old 02-02-2013, 01:15 PM   #2
The Real Mark
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Looks pretty cool - perspective of the van is a little off - same with the figure in the foreground, maybe not the strongest pose. They're not that bad, but the composition could be stronger, I would've made them a little more prevelant in the picture. The viewpoint is quite high above the persepctive of the figure which means you're not as easily realatable to the figure, if you were perhaps gazing of the figures shoulder, and put the perspective closer to the figure and made him bigger in the image the view perhaps might relate more to what the figure is experiencing with the landscape.

The background is a little choppy - not sure what's meant to be back there - also to the right of the tree, it's very busy, but still no idea what it is or what's happening.

Also not really sure what you've drawn, I know it's a tree with a lot of construction around it but what does it do? Seems like an environment for a game where the character can get parts etc? - I guess you don't really need to answer that one too much though.

Lighting is overall quite good. I think it's more the composition and small parts of perspective that need work. I would've made the whole picture a little more extreme having it in a wider aspect, having the branches reach out in the picture with a more closer look from the figure. -

Still looks nice though.

Check out episode 59 of feng zhu's blog

Goes through a really similar image with the minatour - starts at 28 mins in...

http://youtu.be/7rI6q6bv7do
 
Old 02-02-2013, 07:50 PM   #3
Jmike
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@The Real Mark Thanks for the suggestions I really appreciate them. I did an update last night that I think at least helps relate to the foreground guy a little more, increased the color, and lighting effects. Thanks again.
 
Old 02-05-2013, 01:14 AM   #4
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Compositionally, placing the guy at the corner isn't a good idea. Move him about an inch to the right would help a lot (it also gets him away from the round shape on the left, which obscures the readability of his contour silhouette).

The clouds in the sky are unnecessarily busy for this concept. If you have a lot of detail in your subject, it's best to keep the background more simplified, so they aren't clashing and competing for attention.

You have a tendency to flatten some of your shapes with scribbly textures, while not portraying them with proper sense of volume. Don't focus on the surface when you haven't conveyed the underlying structure of the forms properly.

Your cast shadows aren't consistent. Some thick posts are casting very thin shadows, and the lift on the left of the building isn't even casting any shadow. The cast shadow also seems a bit bright for a totally back-lit scene. The sky will bounce some ambient light onto the shadow side, but probably not that much. Your background far away should be darker, since they are basically back-lit silhouettes.

Last edited by Lunatique : 02-05-2013 at 03:37 AM.
 
Old 02-05-2013, 02:23 AM   #5
Jmike
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@Lunatique
Thank you for the input, your crits are always super valuable. I have learned alot from the crits you have given other people. I am going to put some work in on it tonight and hopefully finally put it to rest. I also signed up for you becoming a better artist workshop. I am super stoked cause it covers a lot of things I have less confidence in.
 
Old 02-06-2013, 03:38 AM   #6
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I just posted the final image. Thank you for the critiques guys. Let me know what you think.
 
Old 02-08-2013, 04:06 AM   #7
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The cast shadows are still strange. That lift on the left still doesn't have any cast shadow (it looks like a large platform with people standing on it, and has four cables that's used to raise/lower it?).

If you're not sure how to cast shadows properly, I highly recommend you get the book Successful Drawing by Andrew Loomis--it is a classic and shows everything you need to know about casting shadows correctly in perspective. It was out of print for decades and now is back in print.
 
Old 02-08-2013, 04:06 AM   #8
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