Shocker Short VFX Film- Would there be any interest for this to become a feature?

Become a member of the CGSociety

Connect, Share, and Learn with our Large Growing CG Art Community. It's Free!

Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  12 December 2012
Shocker Short VFX Film- Would there be any interest for this to become a feature?

Short Film Shocker

VFX by Ruadhri Brennan

Shot and made on a cost of 500

Last edited by Shockerfilm : 12 December 2012 at 01:44 PM. Reason: No link
  12 December 2012
Someone else posted this video a couple of months ago. I remember asking if the lane shots were done at the back of Batchelors Walk in Dublin. I don't think I got a reply, but it was definitely the same video you posted.
I like to learn.
  12 December 2012
Oh wait, it was you who posted it originally, and you did reply thanks. It's nice to see work with Irish content.

Athbhliain faoi mhaise.
I like to learn.
  12 December 2012
Not sure as a feature film in this style as it would be a bit like "Chronicle" but missing the chemistry of 2 other characters with powers to fill out 100 minutes.

But as a TV series it probably will work.

Gives off a vibe like "Heroes" but with an edge to it.

I get it that the guy at the start should be like some kind of burglar? But the actor they got didn't "sell" enough the look and feeling of "astonished expendable extra" that I think the scene of breaking into the Shocker's lair called for.

Also not sure what the point was of the "heart/beef jerky" attached to window. But the main setup, of a serial killer who has unexplained origins and has supernatural powers does sound like a good setup for a TV series - either with a hero with no powers looking for this killer, the killer being an anti-hero, or a hero with powers (in secret) who is looking for this Shocker serial killer.... many ways to go with this one.
"Your most creative work is pre-production, once the film is in production, demands on time force you to produce rather than create."
My ArtStation
  12 December 2012
Thank you very much, very interesting points, and thank you very much for taking the time to watch it.
  12 December 2012
Originally Posted by Shockerfilm: Thank you very much, very interesting points, and thank you very much for taking the time to watch it.

I watched it three times!

My first thought... seeing the room covered in newspaper and the bloody heart/thing was "Aah.. it's an urban vampire".

But.. I'm not so sure.. since he walked out in daylight just fine.

The robber... don't get me wrong.. I think he's a good actor... But he seemed miscast as "bungling burglar".. You wanted someone closer to a kind of "Home Alone bungling burglar".

Now, I know that my suggestion has sort of the risk of making the whole thing feel comedic. But you already have a strong color tone... so when the guy starts bungling around and looking out of such a dim setting that the audience can see... When the Shocker appears... it just emphasizes the burglar has no power over the Shocker.

You need a "squeaky worthless guy" to provide the foil so that the Shocker's power is exaggerated by interaction.

Here's an example from "The Dark Knight Rises" of using this type of visual.

Note: The intensity and "strong eyes" of the burglar actually looks more suitable for the hero chasing the Shocker - either as a cop or detective with or without powers of his own - Shave optional.
"Your most creative work is pre-production, once the film is in production, demands on time force you to produce rather than create."
My ArtStation

Last edited by CGIPadawan : 12 December 2012 at 02:02 AM.
  12 December 2012
Oh man, If I could even touch the quality and sense of foreboding in that scene I would be a happy man. Currently in development on another project at the moment, however your points are extremely interesting. I'll absolutely look into them, the thing with this short is I think I didn't give it all the pre-production time it needed. I was slave to the actors schedules, but I should have given it at least one more re-write. You're correct about that confrontation sequence in particular.

Thanks again.
  12 December 2012
I saw the short and I think yout did a good job on something that probably had a lot of constraints, money, time or manpower wise. I recently did a shoot for a small concert and I was reminded of how much effort goes into filming!

So hats off for bringing your project to conclusion!

Here are the points that I observed, and I would personally change / rewrite / reshoot.

- I loved the opening shot, I loved the lighting with the newspapers against the window and the 'shocker' still asleep. This probably kept me hooked enough to keep watching and not clicking away after a minute.
- I felt the storytelling with the burglar was a bit off in places. Somehow it was not 100% apparent (maybe 80%) that he was burgling the place at the beginning. I would suspect a different behavior I guess.
- The street scene was well done, if just too predictable. At that point you just know the baddie will show up, so mix things up a bit here and re-think the scene, think the beginning your short and also the example of Bane CGIPadawan gave you. It isn;t bad at all, it was OK, but you probably want it great.
- I liked the FX with the electric wall, it was apparant as a VFX piece, but for your budget, not bad at all.
- At some point you want to have a bit of dialogue / establishing the context of the Shocker. Why would I feel for the Shocker in the first place? He seems like an evil dude, killing and so on. Sofar this trailer established there is this world where the Shocker has free reign. I'd love to know a bit of his motive, even in this trailer, or just a bit more context of this world we are about to see. If you've seen the trailer for Iron Man 3, this was pretty good storytelling "Some call me a terrorist, I consider myself a teacher." <- Awesome line and in a few sentences a frame of reference is established and offsets nicely with the motives and drive of Stark. (Protect his girlfriend, the people he cares about, his inner struggle at that point)
What line would the Shocker be telling the audience?

These are just a few points, I would definitely encourage you to keep developing your skills!
  12 December 2012
Some people have mentioned your point about the burglar. That's an error on my part, he kicks in the door quite loudly, but then is suddenly sneaking around the house; I should have seen the obvious mistake in logic there immediately. Hindsight's a great thing I guess. In the original cut of the film the Shocker had the line ''It begins'' right at the end. But we decided to cut it out, perhaps I should not have done so, could have hinted at the audience about his character. Thanks very much for your kind words and points, they are all very much appreciated as is you taking the time to watch it.

Kind regards.
  01 January 2013
Granting I don't know what the bloody pulp is on the window I did think the Burglar would be astonished by it.. then the Shocker suddenly interjects:

"The last person who tried to burgle my home ended up leaving pieces of himself on my window."

Then the Burglar reacts in horror (the pay-off).. and then he makes a run for it in the street. :P

Yeah I know that's very old fashioned in a 70's 80's film sort of way.... but those kind of gags are fun.

Also it chains a double-gag:

1) The Burglar sneaks (instead of kicks) the door to get in.
2) The Burgar barges out of the door wailing and running into the street to get out.
"Your most creative work is pre-production, once the film is in production, demands on time force you to produce rather than create."
My ArtStation
  01 January 2013
Thread automatically closed

This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.
CGTalk Policy/Legalities
Note that as CGTalk Members, you agree to the terms and conditions of using this website.
Thread Closed share thread

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Society of Digital Artists

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright 2000 - 2006,
Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Minimize Ads
Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:38 AM.

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.