The Journey Begins Challenge (2D) Entry: Tomasz Jedruszek

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  05 May 2006
This is a pretty interesting plot all together.

The story has a strong background (Hmm... 4 years should be an enough time ) and dramatic scene very successfully executed.

I not only enjoy looking through it, I also enjoy browsing through the variety of elements that you have designed over time.
Your ideas seem like a crossing of “Star Wars” and “The Dune”, which can never really be too bad


No big crits... especially since you have gotten so far on the image from the sketch as I saw it last… in a big major step.
But may I point out a something that you may want to reconsider?
I couldn’t help but notice Vakkun's cape... and how it flapped down under his buttock.
Shall someone kneel down with a cloak or cape... a cloth as fine as hat would not exactly bend to under his body shape.
He would have to be sort of laying on his stomach and then be getting up… even then it has to be an capture of the moment since again it would drop.


Of course it could be a material with a specific static and is alien to our knowledge.. so can’t comment. But because of the way it is shaping Vakkun, it seems as if he is withdrawing from the stairs, rather than bending to her (Sort of adds to the earlier comment about the “Begging” even though I think that it is a lot less with your later updates).

Actually as I examine your concept sketches… Vakkun has a really cool uniform. Why not have him have his cape pulled to his side as he drops? Displaying the uniform?
(Cause I really know how hard it can get to picture the drop of a cape in such an angle)



Well just a few thoughts.

All that said, your image is very impressive. Best of luck with the rest of it’s demanding work!



Black
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  05 May 2006
I have a double post... really don't get how that happened


Deleted the contents of this one
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Last edited by BlackDidThis : 05 May 2006 at 06:53 PM. Reason: DoublePost
 
  05 May 2006
Wow this is looking great! definately one of the top ones for this challenge! I love the sense of space.
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  05 May 2006
Originally Posted by BlackDidThis:

He would have to be sort of laying on his stomach and then be getting up… even then it has to be an capture of the moment since again it would drop.



Actually as I examine your concept sketches… Vakkun has a really cool uniform. Why not have him have his cape pulled to his side as he drops? Displaying the uniform?
(Cause I really know how hard it can get to picture the drop of a cape in such an angle)



Black



well, as I was thinking about this it was rather simple. then I toke some pictures with a cam of my friend kneeling in blanket on his back. then i realized at that angle there will be only a cloak (his back) on picture. When i was trying to show rather dynamic pose of a girl geting on her knees as a last act / chance to hold her sister for another second before she leaves.
there was an idea to show her only in ,but it was ..i don;'t know... silly? I don't like it ,so i back to previous idea with a cloak .

http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/...loak28vu.th.jpg

but I think I've got another idea. It is a bit compromise between cloak and uniform version.And also I will add a sword on her left hip (jeez -sorry for my english !) then I think this pose will be more clear and I can keep my work on cloak itself aswell.

http://img479.imageshack.us/img479/...oak226ah.th.jpg


but I 've got still lot of work to do with the rest of the picture and there is very little of time,so let keep that idea in mind and hope to have another few hours left to make it real.

Anyways , thanks a lot for any suggestions and crits ,they are very creative and helpfull.

cheers
 
  05 May 2006
Coloring WIP: The fall of the vess Khala



I think that will be last one before final . Just few touches has been added in this one ,little here and little there... I must consider this cloak-problem yet ,and maybe work some more on 2nd ship... and then check global ligh and mood ...
 
  05 May 2006
WOW! Great piece. My only fear is that the woman's face may look a bit old for some reason. It might just be how you painted the hair flowing in front of her face, in which case its an easy fix.... but something about her looks skeletal, or old. Maybe its that her eyes are too deeply set?

Amazing piece though! Way to go!
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  05 May 2006
Thumbs up

wow, still a wip ?
are you sure you are not finished ?
beautifuly done, i can see the whole story behind this piece and your drawing matches your story telling abilities.
good luck, i have a feeling about this piece winning something
 
  05 May 2006
Final Coloring: The fall of the Vess Khala



"Time to say goodbye" or
"Masterpiece is never finished" as some said.

I could spend another few weeks working on this but I must get back to my work and this Challenge deadline is comming up too.So there it is , final touch on my artwork.
Some revolutionary changes in composition ,Vakkun's face has been fixed so i hope no one calls her "he" again :D , also fixed Neida's face so she is now little preetier ,even (maybe I didn't say that before ) she is quite ugly , not to mention she's been taking strong drugs for few years before that scene has place.and... ? ? ..o yes, I reworked foliage in left corner coz it was quite empty.

Almost forgot - Vakkun's uniform has been reworked too ,so now you can see what she ( it is she!! ;)) is exactly doing down there (under her cloak before).


next: final image with image's background and story.
 
  05 May 2006
Thumbs up

one of my faveritest!!
just a little sad about you put it in so late, I noticed it just now.
it is a great work!!
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  05 May 2006
Nice work! Love the environment. The charaters in the back are quite imposing - good job. My only suggestion is to maybe bring some more clor into the skin of the foreground characters. Looking great.
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  05 May 2006
i think the white light on the plants to the left might be too strong now

otherwise a great pic, i wish i could do stuff like dat


.
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  05 May 2006
welldone mate,a great entry i must say,that character kneeling on the ground is finely exercuted.
 
  05 May 2006
out * standing

great change on the fg character. legs read much better now.

inspirational stuff,
~B
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  05 May 2006
Wow, you´re fast. Great Picture, i love everything about it-except:
the girl´s face doesn´t work yet. Who said it again: In Pictures a bad face can ruin everything? So even if you have no time to work on this anymore, keep in mind that this is the most important spot in your pic .

See you around.
 
  05 May 2006
............so good,the image is dynamic,the characters are awesome....and the back ground...no words...
waiting for the final image
cheers
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