The Journey Begins Challenge (2D) Entry: Ed Parkinson

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  05 May 2006
Coloring WIP: God Rays



I've put in a blue background to tone down the yellow. I printed out the image and thanks to Individium pointing it out my screen needed some adjustment to get the colours corrected. He was right the yellow was too strong.

I've also added spirals to the other Souls clouds to explain the story/process a bit more. I've toned down the tenticle a bit too.

What do you think, am I finsihed yet?

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
I am not sure about this challenge,

But in "Master and Servant" there was a particular statement for not permitting usage of photo's, photo manipulations, poser models, and Teragen renders for any purpose other than reference or for presenting your concept sketch.

If it is forbidden, it would be a pity, since there are a lot of people that actually do fantastic stuff by manipulations.
None the less there are also a lot that run a photo through a filter and call it "I have just sketched this the other day" I really think you should do as proposed and run the thought over with a moderator or something ... just in case.



As for "Am I finished?"
I think you have gone a far way... but there is at least one more thing that I think you should consider if you want to do.

As I gaze through it all... I love the manner you have managed to make the worlds/dimensions interact and I am able to actually feel your story... That’s a VERY big plus.
But I can't get a sense of depth as much as I would have wished to.

I mean it doesn't exactly feel like as if the spiral is going back down... doesn't seem like a deep pit. Ironically in THIS earlier version, you have more depth.
And as far as I have read through (Correct me if I am wrong please); you are not trying to make it flatter.

I guess it is from the blue tone being much more uniform through out. You may want to put some warmth to the closer plane. And also it may be a good idea to have such precaution on cooling the colours as you go down along the spiral.

You have chosen a very difficult approach, I have to admit...
But it is looking very good!



Black
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  05 May 2006
looking great!!
i like the colour changed back to blue a little...much better

im sure the photo thing is fine (but dont quote me..lol) the image is truely your own and its a great one at that

good stuffs

cyb
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  05 May 2006
Hi there Ed, I feel that the top part could use some clearer definitions. Its quite hard to give some good suggestions here because everything in this painting is very abstract and symbolic and it is really up to the artist's original vision. But I think I could point out one area that could do with some consideration. The rough 'blobs of cloud' next to the face of the baby seemed tacked on as if you just want to fill that space. Perhaps you could put top down view of real clouds floating all around like as if the spiral is spreading itself out wider and wider as it gets further to the top. Also try tilting the baby's head so that it looks down the spiral properly?

Keep on pushing, Ed!
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  05 May 2006
Thanks Guys

Black - Thanks for pointing out the 'depth' problem. I think what you suggest about warming up the closer clouds will help. The depth is something I want to portray. Thanks.

Cyberone - I'm glad you like it, thanks, but I do think what Black said about loosing its depth is true too. We'll see how it goes.

Jerome - Thanks for dropping by. Do you mean the 2 blobs top left of the Soul? I obviously need to work on them... they are other spirals where two other Souls are also looking. Changing the angle on the Soul to look down is a good idea, thanks.

Well so much for 'Am I finshed?'. Thanks for helping me make it better.

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
That's what we do here- all push each other to better ourselves!


I think you should introduce some more colour contrast, some warm colours, think about the fact that colours become bluer, lighter and more desaturated as they go further into the distance. I also think you should make the area behind the 'soul' darker, to bring out the 'soul' more. Right now it's blending in too much with the background, so when you look at the picture, it takes a while before you notice the soul, you're just looking at the spiral and trying to figure out what the hey is going on with it. You're definitely progressing, just keep going!
 
  05 May 2006
Final Coloring: No more blobs (I hope)



The colouring has changed to bring back the feeling of depth. The blobs, as Jerome called them, have been strenghtened so hopefully the'll read better. I've angled the Soul a bit more but I don't want to loose the white in Its eyes as by doing that we loose the shock/fright look.

Am I finished now?

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
Thanks Theresa

Hi Theresa, thanks for calling in especially as you're so busy with your own pic which is coming along nicely.

I won't be asking 'am I finished' again, the answer is always going to be no.

I think I'll add a bit of yellow around the Soul to give it more attention, and the blues lower down like you suggested but not tonight... I'm off to bed now, have to work tomorrow.

Night all

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
Soul's Journey Begins

Here's the story for the pic. Read it through and tell me what's wrong with it, please.

Soul's Journey Begins

This Soul and its friends went off exploring an area of heaven they hadn't been to before. There were dark clouds there which were not found anywhere else in heaven. They soon arrived and looking into the clouds they were facinated to see a spiral path leading way down so deep it wasn't possible to see the bottom.

This Soul noticed the clouds turned into a river which led to a path along which other Souls were travelling upwards to where It was.

One of the laws of this area is 'Where your attention is, you will go there'. This Soul was not aware of this law but It soon found the law affecting what was happening to It. As the Soul became absorbed in the details of this area it became involved with it and soon It was brought down into it.

Down in the darkness It could see no light to help find Its way back. The only way back to its heavenly home was to travel the path like the other Souls It saw on Its way down into this world.

Little did this Soul realise that Its couriosity would lead it an area where Its journey begins.
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  05 May 2006
Hey Ed, the cloud blobs are still there to the left of the baby. One of them (middle cloud blob) has a spiralling line, what does it mean? How about giving the clouds a more natural look by spreading them out a bit more instead of placing them in such an obvious spot to fill up the empty space? But it is ok, I'm being rather nitpicky!

Oh, ok, I understand your decision to leave the face as it is. Good explanation about that.
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  05 May 2006
Final Coloring: Blobs changed



OK, here is a new view of the blobs. They are other clouds where other Souls are experiencing something similar to our Soul.

Hope this explains itself a bit better.

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
I can’t exactly put a finger on what you have done to enhance the depth… but it really gives the feel of a deep bottomless pit with the latest update.
Good work on there!


The NitftyPicky bits;
Ever since I saw the image, I sort of got disturbed by the other souls. I personally would want them included… I believe they help us better relate to the story going on.
But the way they are scattered sort of takes from the whole perspective... seems lie a variety of whirlpools opening into separate dimensions.
As starters I would have personally expected them to all come out from the same origin… instead of having an orthographical view of them all.


You have enhanced a feel of perspective via making them various in sizes. But I think it doesn’t exactly save the day.
I recall earlier on your attempt to distorting the spiral to a flatter one… And I totally agree with your deciding on not to.
But the ones around are not as much in the spotlight… What about trying giving them a go?
In fact why not make them stretch down like a screw or something?
Wait let me try and illustrate what I mean.


ED, I really hope you don’t mind my messing with your image. I really couldn’t find any other way to explain it better. If you do, I hope the results can compensate:






If you noticed I tried to stay loyal to your existing elements.. but just included a sort of perspective to it all…


And in this angle you can enforce your “God Rays” in the back ground (Since there will be a horizon view, which was mostly what you had lacked in the first round for such an effect) if you still want to include them..

It is a VERY rough image I agre... but I just wanted to try draing something to help get it across. I thought you could do simiallar spirals from clods if not again images.






My other comment is on the child a little bit.
Nothing that I would really be picky on... it is just for the flow of the motion. IT looks more as if the child is getting out of there instead of getting in. Like as if he/she is getting squeezed out of that “point we can not see”.
What I would suggest would be to pull the child a little more downwards… so you have room above to add a series of motion streaks or something… or bits of cloud thrown behind to enhance the child’s long journey to the beginning of an even longer journey.


Well I hope some of this was of some use/help to you.


Thank you for sharing!


Black
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Last edited by BlackDidThis : 05 May 2006 at 03:53 PM. Reason: Typo
 
  05 May 2006
Wow, Black, that's great

Black - thanks a lot for a great crit, I really appreciate it and I think what you've given me will help the pic a lot.

Theresa suggested putting in the other Souls a while ago and they were in my inner picture but getting them out in a pic is not easy, but that's the whole challenge of being an artist anyway. The 'blobs' didn't work and I agree with you, the other spirals don't sit right as far as the perspective goes.

Your paintover is a great help as it helps see the viewpoint you have in mind and I think it could work very well too. (I love to blue colour Black, it's like electric gel ).

I like your idea of speed streaks coming off the Soul, that should get the direction It is travelling in accross correctly. It is something that is important to get right so you read the story correctly. Individium helped me out with the 'hand' pulling the Soul down. The motion streaks will finish it off nicely.

Again, Black, thanks a lot you've been a great help.

*Ed
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  05 May 2006
Was pleasure!

Quote: Originally Posted by Ed;
…I love to blue colour Black, it's like electric gel…
Hahahaha!
I really hadn’t noticed it!
That’s REALLY odd…


Just checked the original...
For the first time ever in all this time have I witnessed *.Jpeg compression do a good job! It’s not like that in the original!
Hmm … I guess I should try compressing and then re-importing to get effects like that


I am so glad it was of use to you (And relieved as well).
It may not feel like it, but I really feel horrible taking peoples hard worked stuff and acting like a know all, and “showing” how it “should” look better.
(Even if my intention is always far from it).


Shall you wish, or have any use:
I have the spirals saved in a separate *.PSd layer still...
I can always gladly send it over.


Good Luck!


Black
__________________
Apparently I am dead: LINK
03/03/2008 May I rest in peace
Wait, CG-Talk Shut the link down; try this: WTF?! Weren't you dead?!
 
  05 May 2006
Thanks, Black...

Some how I don't think the electric gel spirals will fit too will with the current colouring, but thanks for the offer.

You know, I felt a bit cheeky messing around with your picture too but I'm glad you did what you did to mine. It really helped get another view on the solution.

Well, I off out of the office and home to work on the pic. Hope to have an update later tonight.

Thanks all for your input.

*Ed
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