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Old 09-18-2013, 12:08 AM   #1
sparkysavar
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Christina Mayes
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11 Second Club WIP



Okay I'm at the point with this where I really need some indepth feedback to really make it pop and work. I'm not very good with lip sync yet and the stuff I have blocked in isn't polished very much.

Please halp!
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Last edited by sparkysavar : 09-18-2013 at 12:10 AM. Reason: Broken link
 
Old 09-19-2013, 07:45 PM   #2
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Frederic Djoenaedi
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Good stuff. Overall the lip sync feels very muttered. You don't have any really distinct mouth shapes. The dude on the laptop's sync seems late. I know it's crazy, but try taking all of the facial keys and move them back 3 frames... maaaayybe 2 but try 3 first. Might fix it completely.

Here are my animation notes

Laptop dude:
- Try moving his eye-roll from the other guy's "youth" line a few frames later, seems like he's reacting too quickly without it registering the thought and then moving to get upset by it.
- His left hand gesture for "than you can do in a year" doesn't seem to fit, maybe the timing is off or something. Just seems disconnected. Might want to try shifting around the keys to see if it works better 3-5 frames later.
- His eyes don't change shape at all throughout, like he always has that half open sort of look. Which I understand is part of his character but maybe open up his eyes a bit when he starts saying "has it that I can do.."
-when he rotates his torso, his pelvis is totally locked and looks very unnatural.
-When he turns back to his laptop, his head rotation just LOCKS into place, ease into it or overshoot a bit and settle into a slightly different pose.

Hanging out dude:

- Shoulder that just goes up and down on "innovation" is distracting, like it's going up on its own disconnected from the body. You'll have to include the body a bit to sell it
- Hands float around with no real purpose. To make it work try holding some of those extreme poses
- when his left hand comes back down on the table (after "innovation") it has a weird rotation back up that's distracting
- slight head pop at the top when he says "youth" Smooth out the curve, there's probably a spike there
- when he turns over to the guy, his head does a weird pop rotation back out slightly
- at the end when his hands rotate back down onto the table, it's too fast, they pop into place.


Keep animating!
 
Old 09-19-2013, 08:03 PM   #3
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Christina Mayes
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Thank you so much, all of that feedback is incredibly helpful and exactly what I needed. I'll update this once I integrate it and see where I'm at.
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Old 09-19-2013, 08:22 PM   #4
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you're welcome!

and I just realized, when I said 'move all facial keys' I meant only the mouth shapes for the lip sync, leave the eyes/brows

good luck!
 
Old 09-19-2013, 11:31 PM   #5
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Okay here is the next go through with a lot of integrated feedback and tweaks. I'm still not sure about the lipsync, but it is definitely much improved. How is it looking guys?
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Old 09-20-2013, 06:20 PM   #6
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nice quick turnaround on that! here are some additional notes

Laptop guy:
- His eyeroll up is still too soon. The viewer is focused on the other dude talking so there's a good chance it won't be initially noticed.
- from about 7seconds to 11seconds he seems to be just floating from pose to pose without actually committing to anything. I would try maybe finding the poses that do work, holding those and then removing some that don't. that way you'll have the time
- also in that same time frame as above, his eyes are moving all over the place.
- His left hand on the word "field" coming out is too robotic. just goes in and out unnaturally.
- I would now start to offset the fingers, they are all moving at the same time
- lip sync:
>close his mouth on the "m" on "damage"
>make the close mouth shape of the "p" on "laptop" more pronounced
... ok so overall, his mouth isn't changing too much (both characters), just swimming from one open shape to another. You'll have to find your key points to close that mouth or make more of an "o" shape. This will add variation and make it easier to follow. So close the mouth on all p, b and m.


Hanging out guy:
- on "innovation", his right wrist goes wonky in rotation
- on "innovation", his left thumb just rotates out seemingly on its own. Looks strange to me, maybe have his hand move a bit to support it? just seems like such an isolated movement that's not unified to anything
- his left hand motion to go up and scratch his nose... it looks mechanical, like it also changes speed mid-path. It's also a direct line to his nose, try putting a small arc in there. Also you might want to add a couple frames of detail where when his hand comes off the table, his fingers could stay on trailing just a wee bit. Will make it look so much smoother.
- when he leans on "so why do you need me?", his left elbow does a weird in and out motion
- As the Laptop guy does his dialog and Hanging out guy scratches his nose and does his other motions, his right hand is TOTALLY still, very weird. You should slightly shift the position as his body does stuff.
- Still looks very strange when he comes in on "oh so why do you need me?". Like his head is bouncing off an imaginary wall. Such a big movement that has no arc.
 
Old 09-20-2013, 06:44 PM   #7
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Thanks again! Super helpful. I'll see if I can put up another WIP today.
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Old 09-20-2013, 07:16 PM   #8
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I probably won't be able to look at it until next week sometime. Good luck! good progress. Just watch your arcs throughout, whether it's a head or a finger.
 
Old 09-21-2013, 03:26 AM   #9
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Okay made a lot of progress today in refining things and adding in stuff like better arcs and hand movements. There is still a lot I want to tweak and improve but I'm too tired today to keep going. I'm also out this weekend so hopefully I'll be able to touch this again on Monday.

Yay progress!
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Old 09-21-2013, 10:51 AM   #10
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Hi!

Very nice new pass! The first things I noticed as I watched it the first time (and this is probably the most important I still think you can push some of the mouth shapes. Not all. Just a few extreme ones. Especially the "f" sounds need to be more clear. Other than that, try to make the two guys a little more different. Right now they not only look the same, they also seem to behave and react very similar. Maybe a different or more pushed posture of one of the guys (most likely the one on sR) is enough to emphasis the contrast between the two. In generel try to always implement the thinking process. And make it super clear what your character is thinking. In my mind you already do a nice job. But still could push it a litle more. For example adding eye darts to show thinking or change the expression more or sth. like that. Anyway its already nice

Cheers,
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Old 09-21-2013, 05:29 PM   #11
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Thanks for the feedback! I will see what I can do to push this in the areas you mentioned.
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Old 09-21-2013, 05:29 PM   #12
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