Pisser Assassin - Animatic

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Old 07 July 2013   #1
Pisser Assassin - Animatic

Hello Everybody,

I'm very pleased to share the end result of the animatic for my animated short. Please do share your critiques and feedback if you have any. I'd prefer more feedback than compliments.

https://vimeo.com/70711880


As for my own comments, here's what I have to say:

1- The story plot has been well established; Now I know how the story and animation is going to proceed
2- Next I need to do the scene layout, this includes Lighting to make it render ready
3- I will be changing some of the Sound Effects for better ones, as some are only temporary
4- After spending quite sometime on the final animatic, I did notice the timing can definitely be shortened on certain shots
5- I'm not entirely sure about the last shot (#24) after the ending credits. If anyone else has better ideas, feel free to share or suggest a change
6- Last, the name of this short will be Pisser Assassin


If you're a ninja fan like me, then you should be able to know what title the BG music is originaly from


Looking forward to your responses.

Cheers,
XF
 
Old 07 July 2013   #2
Hello, Friend.
I like your animatic. It's simple and fun.

Here are some suggestions for the story.
Tension is missing in scene 22.
The scene is very smooth too. How about putting more stress?

Idea of change:
Scene 22 (before the hive fall into the head of ninja):

After failing twice, now the ninja has the real chance. He manages to pull the sword from the sheath and prepares to finally hit his distracted opponent. He raises his sword and prepares (to give more stress, you can show quick flashes as if the ninja was already imagining the opponent cut in half). And while the hive hangs by a thread, almost falling.
Here is the moment of greatest tension: the ninja finally ready to hit your opponent with your sword upwards (see picture link below) and beehive hanging by a thread, almost falling.
Takes interim: the hive almost falling, and ninja prepared to deliver the final blow.
When finally the ninja will give your blow (music voltage), the beehive falls on his head ...


Example of sword up

It's just a suggestion. Keep up the good work.
 
Old 07 July 2013   #3
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