Millhouse Line needs crits plse

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Old 02 February 2012   #1
Millhouse Line needs crits plse

Hey All,

I have been working on this clip for a little while and I believe its ready for some critique's. Please take a look and let me know what you think I would really appreciate the feedback.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A7i...eature=youtu.be

Take it Easy,

Justin
 
Old 02 February 2012   #2
Hello,

Made some changes to the end I synced the hands coming down on the key words to give them more oomf. Please take a look and let me know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Xi7eqKsBg

Take it Easy,

Justin
 
Old 02 February 2012   #3
The biggest thing that pops out to me is that all of his exaggerated expressions and movements all seem to come like half a second too late, not quite matching his words/pitch. Generally the arm/hand movements when he's saying "why" are good, but like before, they come too late. When he points off camera his arm gets real stiff at the end, not a ton of secondary motion.
 
Old 02 February 2012   #4
Thanks for your comments I will make some adjustments and post the new version. If anyone else see's any issues or has any comments they would be greatly appreciated.
 
Old 03 March 2012   #5
I made some tweeks to the arm when he points off screen and changed the timing of the hands going up and down at the end. Comments and suggestions are always welcome and appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULsppeL_hms
 
Old 03 March 2012   #6
I think maybe you should start the shot with his eyebrows closer to a neutral position and then go into the down position. At the moment, it feels kind of odd.

After he crosses his arms, he moves his left arm away. I think you should animate the fingers here because it looks too stiff and doll-like.

When he says "I never had any" and he throws his arm forward, maybe you should show some secondary action in the chest.

He then turns before he says "but why" but i dont see any weight shift anticipating this action, so you could make him shift his weight unto his right leg before making this turn.

You should also try and move the fingers around a bit more, but loosen it up so not every finger moves at the same time.

When he says, "why did I have the bowl" and moves his arms outwards, I think you should also animate the clavicle as he throws out his arms to loosen it up. Dont forget to also offset the timing of this so everything doesnt start an end at the same time.

At the end, you should use a moving hold and possibly add some breating to it, because it just comes to an abrupt end.

Hope I could help. I am no expert but these are things that caught my eye.
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Old 03 March 2012   #7
hey thanks for your comments and suggestions very helpful stuff I appreciate you taking the time to crit my work.

I worked on what you suggested and have created a new version.

Take it Easy,

Justin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X0K...eature=youtu.be
 
Old 03 March 2012   #8
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