CGS DSF 36340 50 MN "The Wind Ship"

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Old 06 June 2014   #1
CGS DSF 36340 50 MN "The Wind Ship"

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Old 06 June 2014   #2
Talking first post here :)

just some wind glider pilots enjoying the sun above the clouds.
my first post here, so pls feel free to comment and critique
took me 1h in Photoshop, i really lost myself in painting the clouds

full size:
http://eyellusion.tumblr.com/image/89572420345
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File Type: jpg DailySketchCGSociety_WindShip1h_low.jpg (56.8 KB, 15 views)
 
Old 06 June 2014   #3
I like your sketch eyellusion, it has a really good mood...
got me inspirated to make a flying thing in the sky too. I also took some inspiration from Jules Verne`s Robur the conqueror.

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Old 06 June 2014   #4
these are both nice sketches, guys! here are some critiques:

@eyellusion:
ooh, really digging the feel of this one. the lens flare and shading on the clouds really sell it, as do the little details like the birds and the texture of the ground plane. also, cool design for the gliders--they give off a sort of alternate history and/or fantasy vibe, which is great. this is all working rather well for a one hour sketch, but, since this is a critique, there are a few things I'll point out. for one, I think that maybe more work could be done varying the color values to give the illusion of depth in the clouds (i.e. less contrast for things further in the distance). when I squint my eyes, the mid-ground clouds actually appear to be darker than the ones in the foreground, which pushes them closer. another thing that seems a bit off to me is the motion blur on the gliders. it's sort of hard to explain exactly what is off about it. your strong composition leads the eye right to that upper glider, which is good technique. but once my eye lands on it, it just seems sort of strange to see the main focal point have blurred edges like that, especially in comparison to the crisp clouds. maybe having a few sharper areas and a longer trailing edge would help make it clear that they are in motion and don't just have blurred edges. it could just be me, though. the final thing I'll mention is that I found the placement of the lower-right glider a little odd, tucked into the corner like that. perhaps it might give a stronger impact if it were a bit bigger and, again, higher in contrast to bring it more into the foreground. but, of course, these decisions are all up to you as the artist, so I hope you're not offended by my suggestions. your painting is so good already that these few small things stood out as potential ways to take it to an even higher level. but I know this is just a sketch, so don't get hung up on my ramblings. welcome to the Daily Sketch Forum, and keep up the good work!

@Sazem:
hey, this is a cool scenario you've got going on here! there are definitely echoes of Jules Verne's style reverberating throughout this, so nice work with that aspect of the design work. you have some interesting color choices, too. for example, the hues for the ground below are well-chosen--it really does appear like looking at it from high altitude. it's always hard to critique a sketch, since I know there are probably things you would do differently if you took longer, but I'll offer a few pieces of advice, if you're game. perhaps the one thing that I think would really strengthen the piece the most would be to do some tweaks to the overall composition. I like what you have done with the forced perspective of the tail end of the ship coming towards the viewer. however, the picture feels a little constrained by how the it stops so cleanly at the left-hand edge of the frame. I know you were probably trying to get everything to fit, but I say be bold! let those propellers and fins go right off the edge of the page! or if you don't want to do that, maybe zoom out and put more distance between the ship and the left edge. either of these options would help open up the composition. another thing is the composition feels a little too symmetrical to me. moving the ship and the docking structure up or down might help prevent the picture from being bisected horizontally. also moving and/or changing the size of that rocky structure on the right might help break up the main elements of the picture so that they don't line up too rigidly. the last thing I'll mention is the ship itself. I could maybe say some things about the design of the ship, but I think that is more a matter of personal taste, so I'll leave that out and talk more about technique, instead. for one, the house-looking thing on the top of the ship seems to be on a different line of perspective from the propeller masts, which sort of makes one or the other look tilted. another thing is the texture on the hull of the ship. you really did a good job of making the surface look rusty and metallic, however it ends up sticking out since no other surface in the picture has that level of finish. similarly, the clouds in the lower part of the picture stand out a bit for a similar reason. I know it might not look as "realistic," but I think everything would look more unified if you had achieved these surfaces using looser brushstrokes. anyway, overall, this is quite a nice painting, and, furthermore, it tells a story, which can be a hard thing to do. keep at it!

-------------------------

lol, went really overboard on the critiques this time...yeah, probably won't be going this far in the future unless it is requested. well, anyway, I just thought that since things are fairly quiet around here I'd try diving deep and giving some more thorough criticism. remember, though--these are all just my opinions, so please don't take anything I'm saying the wrong way! I know that we're all just practicing and that this forum is mostly for casual sketches and not finished pieces. but in the spirit of us all learning from each other, I hope my words helped in some way. cheers.
 
Old 06 June 2014   #5
Here is mine, the ship is pretty cliche, I experimented with the non-usuall perspective though.

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Old 07 July 2014   #6
one interesting thing about the three paintings for this topic is that they all look like they could exist in the same universe. I guess for a moment you guys synced up and illustrated scenes out the same story, heh.

@Myridiphis:
there are a lot of good things going on, here. the brushwork feels consistent and unified across the frame, and the ship itself has a solid feel to it. the colors give it an antique, nostalgic mood, which works well for the subject matter. I like seeing this kind of experimentation with perspective. of course, whenever things get exaggerated, that means that any issues unfortunately stand out all the more. there are a few things with the perspective that seem off, but I could be wrong. for one, the mast almost seems like it is tilted forward too much given the angle of the deck of the ship, although maybe you were going for a slight fisheye lens effect, in which case it might actually be fine. one thing that I think definitely needs adjustment is the propellers and the "disc" formed by their motion blur--they seem a little narrow on the horizontal axis and probably should be more perfectly round from this angle, if not slightly squashed on the vertical axis. the only other thing is that maybe you could go back in for another pass to bring in some brighter highlights to make some parts of the painting really pop. but that is more of a stylistic choice, so I wouldn't say that is really a problem, per se. the painting does have a great sense of depth given the perspective and color choices. keep pushing yourself in new directions!
 
Old 07 July 2014   #7
Nucron, thanks for great feedback!

It is interesting, that while I was painting this I could not see the perspective issues that you have pointed out, but now with the "rested eyes" everything popped out. I do a lot of horizontal flipping during the painting to get the fresh look on the canvas, but sometimes I need longer breaks to see more mistakes.
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