Precursors short (former Ancestors)

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Old 05 May 2013   #1
Precursors short (former Ancestors)

PreVis of my diploma CG short. No sound, music just to make it not so boring to watch.

Feel free to throw rocks, point out even obvious mistakes, and suggest how to correct them. Anything related to edit, direction, animation, cameras.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6-l_aPuXRs
 
Old 05 May 2013   #2
Hi

I really like your short so far. I'm no animation expert so take my crit for what it's worth please. The one thing that really stood out for me as far as something fixable, is where your main character breaks the first trooper's neck: There appears to be no resistance from his spine/neck to prohibit the movement. Co-incidently I watched the original Total Recall movie with Schwarzenegger just before I saw your clip. In that movie, just after he returns from "Recall", he gets into a fight with 5 or 6 guys, during which he does this move exactly as I would imagine it should look.

The only other things that stood out were little clean-up jobs really, which I would imagine you've already identified as points of interest like jittery shoulders in some spots.
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Old 05 May 2013   #3
Thanksa for your reply!

Yeah, jitter it mostly from an uncleaned kinect mocap, which I used in some shots, ill clean it
 
Old 05 May 2013   #4
Congrats on getting so much done.

A few things that might help:

* Everything is low res which makes it easier to judge form and movement. The soldiers look balloony (sort of sausage like).

* The sets are not very interesting in terms of design and form. In fact the overall design of everything could use a bit of a boost in quality. That is why it is great you did this previz!

* The lighting is not very dynamic and in many shots we loose the plot completely and are not able to follow the motion. Lighting needs to be more interesting and descriptive. This is a big challenge and not as easy as most of us think.

* The camera work breaks rules quite often so a read on filming will help. Just standard film making, it doesnt have to be animation specific.

* When you have slow motion the plate has to stay interesting and at this point it is only a close up that doesnt seem to help the story.

* The story is not clear it looks like a cutscene from something and I cant understand the context beyond action we have seen already a million times before, and only action. You need a beginning, middle and end. You could even do it with the small bot starting something and then ending with the small bot somehow to tie everything together. That would use a cliche to engineers a fresh angle.

Keep it up

Cheers
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Last edited by Kanga : 05 May 2013 at 08:49 AM.
 
Old 05 May 2013   #5
Originally Posted by Kanga: Congrats on getting so much done.

A few things that might help:

* Everything is low res which makes it easier to judge form and movement. The soldiers look balloony (sort of sausage like).

* The sets are not very interesting in terms of design and form. In fact the overall design of everything could use a bit of a boost in quality. That is why it is great you did this previz!

* The lighting is not very dynamic and in many shots we loose the plot completely and are not able to follow the motion. Lighting needs to be more interesting and descriptive. This is a big challenge and not as easy as most of us think.

* The camera work breaks rules quite often so a read on filming will help. Just standard film making, it doesnt have to be animation specific.

* When you have slow motion the plate has to stay interesting and at this point it is only a close up that doesnt seem to help the story.

* The story is not clear it looks like a cutscene from something and I cant understand the context beyond action we have seen already a million times before, and only action. You need a beginning, middle and end. You could even do it with the small bot starting something and then ending with the small bot somehow to tie everything together. That would use a cliche to engineers a fresh angle.

Keep it up

Cheers


Well, it was made with "this is a cutscene" in mind. No serious story here. Though I plan on completely remaking it after I pass exam, making it a really short teaser, not this 5 minute monster, which I did not want to make (5 minutes is our university minimum). So sets will be remade, characters improved. Guards need some cloth simulation. It was planned, thats why they look baloony here. Theirs "baloons" are just not simed.

There is no lighting in previs, it is kind of a playblast (if you are a maya-guy) from 3ds max's viewport. So there is no compositing, lighting, and BG plates.

I'll look into camera work more closely, though I'm familiar with those rules.

Thanks for reply, it helped
 
Old 05 May 2013   #6
If you are going to all the trouble of making the anim why not make a short story at the same time? Look at a commercial on tv and see how much info they can press into a short time frame.

Cheers
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Old 05 May 2013   #7
Originally Posted by Kanga: If you are going to all the trouble of making the anim why not make a short story at the same time? Look at a commercial on tv and see how much info they can press into a short time frame.

Cheers


As I told, I am going to make a teaser.
Since it's a diploma aka "school" project, i'm pressed by the university restrictions and requirements, which they only informed me about, when i was already in the middle of production.

I agree that i need to add something to it. But the deadline is in June already, so the only actual thing that I can add in this time is bg voice.

I have a whole big story as a background for this movie, about the artefact, and who left it and why. But I can't yet get the right words to tell it.
 
Old 05 May 2013   #8
Cool.
I reckon you should try your hand at a short for the next one and show the previz early so you can use the directions people will provide you with.

Good luck with the rest of the project.
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Old 05 May 2013   #9
Originally Posted by Kanga: Cool.
I reckon you should try your hand at a short for the next one and show the previz early so you can use the directions people will provide you with.

Good luck with the rest of the project.


Yeah, I agree
 
Old 05 May 2013   #10
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