05 May 2011, 02:34 PM
Nice and simple. I do like it, but I feel what sets this apart from professional ads are the little touches.
Simplicity in commercials is misleadingly simple. A lot of times there's a lot more complexity than people perceive. I know you have more contraints than a studio, but here are some critiques nonetheless-
I wanted to see smoke coming from the smokestacks, it felt weird not to.
All the transitions felt just a little bland/the same. If there was smoke I think you could have done a lot with it. Maybe in the first shot with the numbers rising the smoke could have slowly been filling the screen, the 74 years text could have emerged from the smoke filled background, and then the box containing the car could have dropped and cleared the smoke away, kind of symbolizing what the car is attempting to do.
As of now a lot of the transitions are simply the assets sliding across the screen. Something to break that up would add interest.
When you show the smokestacks near the end, talk about harmony, and then slide to the car, I feel like your missing an opportunity to use that word harmony. Again, more of a fluid movement could have been interesting. Maybe the cross sign in front of the smokestacks could have been green, and then transformed into a bunch of elegant, curved green lines (kind of implying nature and the random beauty of it) wrapped around the smokestacks, and eventually formed into the car shape itself.
Alright, I'll stop there. Haha, obviously all of this is probably much more complicated than you wanted to deal with. Just wanted throw out some ideas that might have pushed this to a more finished looking state. As it is though, I do think it's clear, well done, and well thought out. I especially like when it zooms in on the car to talk about the engine.
Overall good job!
05 May 2011, 02:51 PM
I agree - I really wanted to have smoke, but it really ate up render time and kept bugging out and giving me really bad results. Maybe I'll do another project that focuses just on smoke.
Thanks for those ideas! I agree with all of those points. Thanks for the feedback!
05 May 2011, 02:51 PM
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