View Full Version : Character: JET GIRL zoooooooom.

07 July 2003, 11:07 AM
this is a character i am working on named JET GIRL!
I posted it in the 3d WIP - but i was not getting the harsh
crits i was looking for. Please be hard on me - i want to
make the character better.

thank you!

07 July 2003, 11:08 AM
this is what i am working from.....

thanks again for feedback...

07 July 2003, 01:05 PM
THE HEAD: The mouth needs alot of work. The lips are to thin. The boobs look a bit too pointy and are too high on the chest. CHecks could be rounded out a little more, they look boney, which i dont think you want. do the cheeks. Also looking at the refrence pic you provided, her eyes should be bigger.

THE BODY: Looks perfect.

keep up the goodness,


07 July 2003, 06:10 AM
i am working on fixing the face - great suggestions. I will update it soon - ( fatter lips - smother cheeks - maybe bigger eyes ) - if anyone else has comments please keep them coming - it is very helpfull - i want to have it perfect before starting in on textures.

just to show you something new - here is her plane - it is almost finished.....
any comments on the plane would help also.

07 July 2003, 07:39 AM
You have to refine the arm more if you plan to animate\pose the character , right now she doesnt have any details on the elbow region.

07 July 2003, 09:43 AM
I was looking at that plane of yours... The flaps on the wings - aren't they supposed to be on the other side, towards the rear end of the wing rather that the front as they are now? As it is now, she'd have to fly backwards...

07 July 2003, 10:02 AM
I was looking at that plane of yours... The flaps on the wings - aren't they supposed to be on the other side, towards the rear end of the wing rather that the front as they are now? As it is now, she'd have to fly backwards...

hahha FUNNY

it is not my illustration. I was so busy making
the plane look just like the drawing i did not even see that.
I just looked at it and put it in.

i will have to change that for sure -- good eye..

07 July 2003, 10:05 AM
With the plane model, you've lost the streamlined single arc-look of the drawing and now it seems to be more torpedo shaped.

07 July 2003, 10:25 AM
Just for the record::.. I did some googling on the flaps-issue, and it turns out that some types of planes do have flaps placed like that (referred to as "leading edge flaps"), but they should possibly be split in two wide flaps, extending along the entire leading edge of the wing.

This is a cartoony plane, though, so you'd probably be better of with just an ordinary trailing edge flap.

07 July 2003, 10:51 AM
thanks JamesMK

- i think your right - placing them on the other edge would be way better. It is what people will expect to see. I don't want to have people even think about that.

Hey your icon is that strange dog looking creature - I saw that when you had it in a WIP - i think that is the coolest character - I don't know why but it is funny as hell - i remember someone told you to use fur instead of a map ----- have you finished this character -- just wondering.

I am digging all this feed back.

07 July 2003, 11:34 AM
The latest version of my pet is this:: but there is no "real" fur on it still.

However, all serious work has been temporarily stopped for me since I'm in the middle of switching from Blender to Cinema. I expect to get back to my project in about a month.

07 July 2003, 03:36 PM
I was looking at the illustration you have and if you want her to look like that you need to reduce those chekbones alot. And make the eyes bigger. Also the mouth should be bigger and the corners of the mouth should be a bit pointier. The last thing that i noticed was the cap. It's way to thick and does not look like the leather cap that's in the pic.

Rei Ayanami
07 July 2003, 04:26 PM
you havent done the front of the plane the same. on your drawing there is a small red bit with bolts at the end, a line then a metal bit.
the model is just all red at the front and doesnt have any bots at all!

07 July 2003, 08:30 AM
The hair that pops out the front is too rounded, I know this is a cartoon, but the hair on the drawing does not look so bulbous. Also I think you need to find a way to scale down the chin. The drawing looks like she has a large chin, but the 3d model does not make her chin work for me, the cartoon is much more attractive than the models face.
Notice that when she is smiling the tips of her lips just about touch the cheek bones. I think that if you can get that smile down, and take a little creative license with the teeth or at least recess the flat panel a bit more, you will have something that resembles the cartoon a little better.

07 July 2003, 09:57 AM

i put a some more time into the head. I went bigger with the
eyes. smoothed out the cheeks ( they can still get smoother). I also gave her some big lips. I modified the eye shape a bit too.

I left out the teeth and hat for this stage.

I would love feed back on this >>>>>>>>>

thanks all your comments have been a big help.

07 July 2003, 10:06 AM
looking good :)

the nose needs some work, right now it looks rather cube like. you'd probally want to round it off at the edges to give it a smooth round tipped nose.

it looks like she has no cheeks anymore....where the cheeks r supposed to be it looks like their giant eye lids now, the cheeks on the illustration point out then curve toward the eye lid.
and since in the illustration she's smiling the cheek is up so when she's not smiling the cheek would be down.

if there r cheeks and i just can't see them cause of the camera angle...then my bad.

heres wat i mean...if none of the above made any sense :P

07 July 2003, 08:40 AM

thanks for the advice
here is the same head with changes.
I reworked the flow on the nose and the lips.
I posted the wire too - to show the flow.

if you can give me some more feedback that would be great

07 July 2003, 12:47 AM
That's better, but I think the inside lower eyelids, where they curve up slightly, needs to be closer to the nose. Where they are now makes her look like she's crinching up her eyes. Also, I would make the iris NOT a gradient, just a solid grey color, to reduce the "AGH!" factor when you first see them :)

I think also that the nose is squashed into the face too much, can you pull it out a bit and smooth the transition to the cheeks? and the illustration's nose was upturned, spunky, can you make the tip of her nose upturned? Don't be afraid to show some nostril.

I think the chin and overall shape of the face is pretty close, but her mouth is way to wide for a relaxed mouth, and it looks frightening. When she smiles, it will be that wide, but relaxed should be narrower. Even Cameron Diaz's mouth gets small when she's not smiling ;)


07 July 2003, 12:49 AM
Sorry, I just noticed that the back of her jaw is very weak, almost non-existent. Pull this out to match the illustration, while leaving the front of the jaw (chin) the same size.


07 July 2003, 03:09 AM
thanks jelly..

great tips - i am going to work on your suggestions.
The fixes you have listed are right on the money.

As far as the eye texture - i just quickly added that in. The real eyes will look better // I guess it is kind of distracting.
I will leave them off in my next rendering.

please check back - i will post again soon.

07 July 2003, 04:09 AM
Right now the eye texture makes her look like a maniac, lol.

Don't go for such a huge outline on the Iris, that will tone it down a bit.
And also when you add the upper eyelid, its that eyelid/eyelash combo thing. That will make the face a whole lot more feminine.

Basically hse just needs eyelids now. You haven't really defined those on the eye yet. How is she ever going to blink?

07 July 2003, 05:52 AM
thanks for you input dmcgrath -

as i said in the last post - the eye texture was just a real quick ramp shader. I will spend more time on the texturing in the future. I am going to leave off any textures from now on.

I had been working on some eyelids - Your right she needs to blink. Check out my start on an eyelid.

**eyelids added****

I am going to work on jellyfishes suggestions - those have not been added.

thanks for all the input

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