View Full Version : Can I get some critiques please

04 April 2008, 06:23 PM

Can I can some crits on the stuff at this address (


- Mike

04 April 2008, 07:46 PM
I like your favorite is the side step, nice job! I would say a couple of things that I noticed...of course it's just my opinion, so take as you wish.

Weight...I think the cat is not showing enough weight at the front of the body

Head movement...low man walk, his head could have more movement so he doesnt look like he's doing a walk cycle :)

Bloke walk....I'm just not digging it. Probably because I don't like the rig, but his head looks like it's being driven by the body.

I hope this helps and like I said it's just my opinion so it doesn't really mean anything. Good Luck!

04 April 2008, 08:19 PM

Thanks for the response.

Questions, where do you see the lack of weight in the cat's movement? In the foot contacts or the upper body movement?

Lowman walk, do you mean movement as in looking around? or that his head is too static? Should it recoil more, swing more?

I see what you mean about the bloke walk.

04 April 2008, 08:20 PM
Yeah, actually you're so right about the bloke walk.. Thanks.

ps. Did all the animations play correctly for you?

04 April 2008, 07:57 PM
Nice work. All I would say is, on the side-step animation, perhaps have the right leg contact the ground first, as opposed to the left - maybe the movement would flow a little better that way, but it's a pretty minor thing.

The only other thing I'd look at is the front 'shoulderblades' of the cat - maybe add a little more bounce to them on the contacts, as right now it seems all the bounce is coming from the rotation of the model's geometry. Again, pretty minor thing.

Oh, and maybe some more jaw movement on the T-Rex - little jarring, leaving it so static, but the motion was great, and I especially liked the tail movement.

Great work, thanks for sharing.

05 May 2008, 01:34 AM
Thanks Dan

I see that the cat needs some work. I'll be taking all the suggestions from this thread. I actually agree with everything.

I think i'm going to close the trex's mouth and just give it a tiny movement because It does look kinda dumb.

05 May 2008, 01:15 AM
Man, your stuff is very nice. Very polished. You asked me to rip it apart, so I'll do my best, but I don't really think it can be all that ripped apart. It's pretty strong stuff Most of my critiques will probably be taste issues. As in "I, personally, would like it better if it did such and such, but that doesn't mean it's not as good right now." kind of thing. I like green more than blue, you know.

max jump- So all of his body goes up except his head when he takes off. I dunno, I think of the head as driving a lot of one's motion, especially in a drastic action like a jump where the rest of his body really gets into it.

low max walk- His legs seem to have an "IK-pop" at one point in his walk. It isn't that distracting, but his head has a slight "snap" to it as well, and I think both combined give a sense of a jerk that really isn't there. And if you want to get into more detail then fingers do stuff while you walk, loosen them up. I know you did that on the blokewalk, so do it here too I say.

side step- I would definitely agree to make his right leg hit the ground first. It just adds some balance since his right leg leaves the ground first so make it land first and he can lean back towards his right a little at that point. That way he moves right, then left, then right again. Rhythm, man. ;)

T-rex run- Maybe make the long recoil that starts with his legs and runs up his spine and neck end with a little rotation in the head. Kinda like finishing the whip effect. Maybe on his tail too, since the last bone seems to stay parallel to the ground. And yeah, adding some secondary jaw motion like in your low man run would be nice too.

Catwalk- I would exaggerate the shoulder blade motions. I don't know why, but something seems off. Maybe decide (if you haven't already) what size cat this is. Because the front looks like a house cat and the back looks larger and heavier like a lion. Actually the back pelvic bones also don't seem to be taking any shock from the steps. Did you use film reference? I have found that when I use film reference I have to exagerate stuff and "fake it" to make it look real. Kinda weird, but really fun. Anyways, this one is the most "off" and all I can offer you is suggestions on where to find the solutions. I wish I could give you more.

Dude, I like the blokewalk. Especially the fact that his head is being driven by the body. I guess it's just different tastes, man. It's styalized and I like.

The run looks beautiful. Heh, even his jaw is moving.

Something I'd like to point out. The side step to me is the best. It has the most personality. The jump is pretty sweet and I love the landing. The weight really feels good when that guy catches himself. But the side step has that little spark of life in it that the others don't quite seem to get. I dunno. Sometimes I get sick of "the walkcycle" since usually it's just the mechanics of a body. Why animate someone walking exactly as a walk "should be walked" as when all the bones and muscles line up properly (i.e. no bad posture or bow-legs)? Why not animate a happy guy with a bit more of a bounce or skip? Or a sad dude dragging his heels? Maybe these can't be cycles, really. Maybe to get that bit of life, you need to have him looking around and waving and twirling and jumping to show he's happy and the very fact that it is a cycle of two steps just kills the spark outright. I dunno. Anyways, that's probably more of my brain matter than you wanted. And I'm not directing this at you or anything, just sort of putting down a thought I've had for a long time in the back of my head.

So that's all I can scrape out of the bottom of the barrel with my nittiest nit-picks. I think they all (except the t-rex and cat) stand up just fine as they are now. But if you were to work on them more, then I would like to see the things I mentioned.

Rock on, dude! It's very nice stuff. Better than mine -- I have yet to get a walk or run to look that smooth.


05 May 2008, 11:43 PM
Thanks for the critiques Nathan.

I've been busy with all the suggestions i've received.

05 May 2008, 05:14 AM

I made all the changes that were suggested and I like the results.

Additionally I put some new stuff up and would like some critiques.

main page: (I fixed the trex's mouth & tail, changed the shoulders on the cat walk and landed the side step character on his right leg this time instead of his left)

New stuff:


- Mike

05 May 2008, 01:23 AM
Added a new one

slipping on a banana:

05 May 2008, 08:11 PM
On the banana slip I would have the character go up higher on the slip, right now if you track his torso the arc on it is a little flat, so I would work on that a little, other its looking very nice

05 May 2008, 04:27 AM

Thanks Kyle. I see what you mean. I'll be fixing that.

I went through your animation gallery on your site. Love your work. I really like the August 2007 CG SOCIETY non audio animation challenge entry and the Ollie and Moom animation.

I see that you work in games. I've given myself 3 months to get hired at a game company and i'm trying hard to increase my speed. Right now it's taking me half a day to a day to bang out each piece. I'm veryyy slow because i'm learning.

I keep hearing about how you're expected to produce 2 to 3 high quality cycles a day. So i'm aiming for that.

Do you have any ideas for pieces I should attempt next to go on a game demo reel?


- Mike

05 May 2008, 11:03 PM

Fixed the banana slip animation. Thanks Kyle.

Added a new one:

If anyone wants to crit anything I'm doing, I'de appreciate it.


- Mike

05 May 2008, 10:15 PM
Again, great stuff!

I have been animating some human characters myself. Although i have only been animating runs and walks etc..

I would like to have ago at animating more of a scene..Like how you have your guy walking to the box, looking at it, picking it up etc...Although i'm not sure on how to plan it out..

How did you go about organising the timing of the whole scene, blocking out the poses??
Or did you animate straight ahead without any poses??

If you pose to pose, do you create each pose per frame? And then orangise the timing at the very end??

I would love to venture and try and do some animation like this. Although i think you could shine a light on some vital dos, and don'ts which could save alot of trail and error.

Any help would be great!

Thanks in advance, and can't wait to see more of your work!

05 May 2008, 11:39 PM

Yeah that box lift animation. I don't think i'm going to finish it. I'm going to start a new one, with better poses, better (or actual) storytelling, a character who looks like he's thinking.. etc etc.

I didn't use reference material or plan out anything I've ever animated. Which is dumb according to the experts. I sat down and just animated.

I'de be the wrong person to learn from. I've been doing this a few months. I'm new.

I realised my workflow, so I haven't animated anything really in a week except this.. hehe

I signed up at a couple days ago.

I bought the basic tutorials package, bought a cheap wacom bamboo tablet and have been learning about his workflow.

lately, I've been learning everything I can about the basics.. reading tips and articles from Disney etc etc. I've been going to ( and watching old cartoons.

I've been checking out blogs from people who are attending Animation Mentor.. to try and pickup on bits and pieces of information, things they're being taught. Go watch all the student reels from Animation Mentor. Go to youtube and type it in. I watched everything pretty much.

I went here: (it's a huge library of motion capture movies).. and watched everything.

The one thing I can tell you is, get this script "ZV Parent Master" from highend 3d. It makes picking up things like boxes real easy.

.....Couple more things..

Go here,
Get his arc tracker <<<<, check out his tips. And definitely check out his "tap your timing" trick. It's some hot keys for moving your timeline keys around. it's useful.

Also, I went and downloaded vlc media player, with that, I've been watching all kinds of movies in sloooooow moootion. I can slow the Incredibles down to a crawl and watch the movement on their characters frame by frame.. hehe, cheap education.

- Mike

ps. I don't know if you got crits yet from the people here on your stuff. But i've learned a lot from the people tearing my stuff up.

05 May 2008, 10:22 AM
Mike, Your works are coming along nicely. I wanted to share some feedback through my new educational company Digital Apprentice Workshop. We will be producing DVD and Downloadable content for animators as well as offering feedback from professionals!

We decided to give you a free PVC session compliments of us here at: ( (
Click the Image Above to Check out your PVC! (

05 May 2008, 03:48 PM
Hi David,

Thanks for the compliment. I'de love a critique.

Ahhhh.. I see that you tutorials are going to more creature oriented, monsters etc.

That's very cool.

- Mike

06 June 2008, 12:57 AM
Hi David,

Thanks a lot for the critique!

That was awesome.

I'll post my new version soon.

- Mike

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