View Full Version : short animation WIP
03 March 2008, 03:45 AM
Hey everyone! So I basically started this animation from an idea I had and have been working on it for a few days now in my free time, animating straight ahead. But with doing that I've ran into some problems and my animation has changed a bit from my original idea.
This is basically the first pass of the animation as I've gone through and blocked out what I want to happen, but I'm not very strong with cinemtography and selling the animation.
What basically happens is when the ninja backflips he's throwing explosives onto the robot, but I think it gets lost. I originally wanted to do the flip in slo-mo but couldn't get it to work right so I moved on.
Any tips or critiques on my animation, cameras, or the short as a whole would be awesome and greatly appreiciated! Obviously the robot animation is in the VERY rough stages.
.MOV 6MB (http://www.jacobschieck.com/files/robotninja_SHOT3_ver4.mov) (right click save as...)
03 March 2008, 06:30 PM
maybe this is something that can be highlighted better with with sound effects or something - like a 'clunk clunk' when he throws them in, then the explosion
and maybe this would work better if you reveal beforehand he is carrying grenades, just a really fast shot of him releasing the catches, maybe just his hands
so if you know he is carrying grenades plus the sound effect, then maybe it would be then the first thing you would assume
03 March 2008, 06:45 PM
frame 9 watch that front leg extended, looks like he's going to break it
something about his run... looks like it could use a little more weight or something I dunno, especially just before he jumps, doesn't seem like theres weight behind it. maybe have more anticipation, show more of a weight shift.
landing is good, watch that left knee that seems to be moving outward, I doubt you could make that kind of a jump with a knee sticking out like that.
I like the jump off the wall, cool stuff, except that his right arm pops really quickly at frame 36.
throughout the jump off the wall, right from when he takes off, his spine/body has the same angle, then at frame 48 he almost has an arc but I think you could really push it more, get a nice sillouette there just before he lands on the robot.
The only thing i'm confused about is what is he actually doing on top of that robot? is he hitting it? for being the main event of his attack, it's kind of boring, his right arm which is behind his body already is the only thing moving, the rest of his body is kinda of stiff, doesn't really look like he's hitting it with everything he's got. Like just 3 punches using only his arm is going to knock that big robot down. well.. unless he's superman but that would be a totally different animation :P I would really really put his whole body into two or three really good hard punch, bring his body up and then have his whole weight smash down, bring his fist way back, hold for some frames then WHAM!! hold WHAM!! hold WHAM!!
would be so sweet...
the robot landing is kind of awkward, and what's with the ninja slide? doesn't look real plus it's happening at the exact same time as the robot falling so it's distracting. just have this crazy awesome ninja land a little more behind, after the robot falls the ninja can step a little back then BOOOM!!! can go your cool effects explosion or something something.
good stuff man!! keep going for sure, it'll be super sweet once it's all done :)
03 March 2008, 06:47 PM
I wouldn't worry about the sound effects for now, if you can make the animation speak for itself and get it's point across first, then after adding sound will only make it oh so much sweeter. but i wouldn't depend on it.
03 March 2008, 09:31 PM
hey guys thanks for your suggestions!
to clear up any confusion what is supposed to happen is he throws explosives as he does the flip backwards, but a lot of people said that it's not clear enough so i need to figure out a way to really show that off. as for the ninja slide i wanted him to get pushed back from the explosion's shockwave.
thanks Phredrek and matmonkfish for your crituque and i'll be making the changes as soon as i get time. sadly though i'm directing a team of about 13 classmates this month making a short film using mo-cap data and a story that was given to us. to make the project even more fun we're using 3ds max and motion builder, which are both new pieces of software to all of us :shrug:
should be pretty fun though once it's all done and hopefully we can produce a decent short. because of the project i've decided to put this animation on hold for another week until spring break but i can't wait to get back into it
thanks again guys!
03 March 2008, 11:39 PM
Alright so I wasn't really in the mood for animating today but I worked on some visual effects tests and also this version has some of the fixes you guys suggested and some ideas I got from other people that I animated over the weekend. Still consumed with my classes :sad:
I've never done any kind of explosion before (the one now is maya's default example) and my visual effects class starts next month so if anyone has a link to a decent tutorial that would be super helpful. Another thing since the animation got a little longer now I'm searching for maybe another camera cut in there somewhere, what do you think?
Still ALOT of work to do on the animation especially the robot (I've been avoiding him) but here's the latest playblast.
.MOV (http://www.jacobschieck.com/files/ninjarobo_playblast_shot3_ver12.mov) (right click save as...)
03 March 2008, 01:14 AM
Hey awesome animation so far! Great camerawork too! :D On first impression it flows very smoothly, but scrubbing I see a few things that should be tweaked. I suggest shortening the pause when he jumps onto the box before jumping on the wall. It seems like he waits on the box too long to have that much inertia.
His run at the beginning is a little awkward too. He stretches his legs way too far out, when you could just translate him more vertically in the "jump" position instead. Timing is good, though. When he jumps from the box onto the wall, his upper body should rotate to the left (toward the wall) since his left leg is forward. This will also act like an anticipation for the punch! Or grab, or whatever, lol (with his right hand).
When he jumps onto the robot (mad respect for interacting characters!).. the robot's upper body needs to rotate screen-right a little more to show the weight of the ninja affecting his balance. Just a little.. right now the robot just turns around kinda, instead of tilting.
When he's on the robot, add a little more anticipation before he backflips off. His pose backflipping should be more curled up as he's spinning. People straighten out as they're going down. When he lands, have more overlapping in his spine. Right now only his root is rotating down (it looks like).
The robot falling needs some work too, but it looks like a lot of the robot is still in progress. Anyway, sorry to write for so long. It's a really sick piece, and I have a feeling you're gonna make it even more badass :thumbsup: Good job!
03 March 2008, 02:09 PM
Hi Drifter! good to see that you've done some more work on it! Great improvements too! Mistasam has some very good comments and I suggest you do all of them. I just want to point out that when he jumps to the wall, you really have to shoot him up, right now check out 1:10 to 1:13. you should have him go right to that pose without 3 frames in between.
great work on the hitting, that's a huge improvement from last time. Maybe have a little more reaction from the robot if he's really affecting him that much to destroy him.
great work and keep it up! post your updates
05 May 2008, 12:19 AM
It's been awhile since I've posted an update on how this is going but I've been real busy with school, I'm trying to finalize the animation this weekend before I start new classes but we'll see how that goes. Anyways, here's an update!
.MOV (8MB) (http://www.jacobschieck.com/files/blast5.mov)
The robot is still really sloppy and I'm going to have to totally redo the fall and work out something better for his arms while he's getting hit. Also I'm not to pleased with how he turns real fast when the ninja initially lands on him. Another thing that concerns me is that there is to much going on as he lands with the robot falling along with the explosion happening in the background, any thoughts? Any critiques would be awesome!
06 June 2008, 02:38 AM
Well, I havn't worked on this in awhile (busy with art tests and finals department at school) but here's what I have up to this point. critiques are always welcomed :)
.MOV (10MB) (http://jacobschieck.com/files/robotninja_SHOT3_ver24.mov)
right click -> save as...
06 June 2008, 03:20 PM
Really cool shot! I really like the camerawork and the jumping on the wall. Here's a couple of things that stuck out for me:
(36-50)-I had to play it a couple of times to realize that the popping in the robot's left hand and elbow were due to laser blasts or something. Maybe once effects are in, it will be more apparent what is happening. Maybe taking out a blast, or having his torso react by twisting with the impact would help make the hand not as noticeable.
(54-63)-Yeah that robot turning around is too quick; also I was wondering if the ninjaís weight would affect that big metal robot so much, with squishing it down and all. Maybe having the robotís torso twisting first, then doing slower footsteps (not everything turning at once) would help slow the turn down.
(63-96)-The ninja punch looks really cool, but maybe the silhouette could be pushed more, like with his torso twisting away from the robot with each drawback, and moving his left leg down a little so it doesnít meld with the left arm. This picture has a really dramatic pose:
(78-98)- To me, the robotís arms seem pretty idle while he is being punched in the head. If there were a way for the robot to grab at the ninja, or react to pain or something, it would add some personality.
(123-127) The robot seems to jerk back suddenly in the x-axis, along the street. If he is meant to slide back that far, perhaps he needs a bounce up in the y-axis too.
Anyway, thatís my 2 cents. Really cool job, and it will be a great action piece! Speaking of which, (shameless plug), I was wondering if you might be able to take a look at an animation Iím working on, a confrontation between a small character and a larger character. Itís in this ĎGirl vs. Beastí thread here:
or the quicktime (21mb) is here:
Since youíve got an eye for action, I was wondering if anything major stands out to you. Thanks!
06 June 2008, 03:20 PM
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