View Full Version : My CG Short film - Robohawk

02 February 2008, 12:51 AM
Hey guys, kinda new to this whole forum. But anyways, I've been working on a short film under the temp name robohawk for a couple weeks now. I'd love some feedback from you guys and it would help me out tremendously! I have a .mov file bellow. (

02 February 2008, 04:50 PM
I like this guy and the exhaust is pretty cool. I personaly donīt like the materials so much, thats a matter of taste.
Perhaps you could put something in the scene that everyone knows, so that itīs easier to understand the scale.


02 February 2008, 11:42 PM
I like it. Nice charcater. Keep em comming :D

02 February 2008, 08:17 PM
I think the shiny chrome textures looked pretty good actually and work well together for the overall look, unless you're going for realistm. I disagree with Walli on the need for additional objects to give a sense of scale since that would detract from the barren isolation conveyed by your scene, which appears to be the motive for the robot to fly off. I think what you did best was lighting and tying together the music with the animation.

02 February 2008, 04:12 PM
cool little bit of animation you got there with great potential
I like the style, I also disagree with walli, I think it's cool having nothing around him. Opening shot is nice of him looking up.

a couple things I'd add though,
when he turns his head at the beginning, towards his pack, have some secondary on his body, right now it's completely frozen and the animation on his head is very isolated. have his body sway a little sideways slightly or something, just seems very stiff. i know he's a robot but it would still add weight.

With the close up of that thruster thing coming out, I'd make it a little quicker on each move but add a little overshoot. something secondary to give it a little life. so the parts shoot out fast then 2 frames after the extreme they come back a little. I dunno, play around with it see what looks good. Also the camera move right at the end of that shot, maybe have it not settle to a stop, because the next shot the camera starts from stop as well then goes out, I think have it still in motion then the next shot the camera is moving at the same speed would be a better transition instead of go stop go over a few frames there.

I like the take off effects and stuff. that's pretty cool. The thing i'd add to the animation portion is have him start more upright then see him go down to anticipate the take off, have him crouch way down, then maybe jitter him a bit so that the audience gets a good ancipation of the power that's about to be unleashed, then just shoot him up BOOM fast!! right now he goes up then a bit down then back up again. just shoot him up there in one motion. That's some pretty explosive power he's got on his pack, make it seem powerful to compliment the beautiful rendering you have going on.

as far as the end, I'd have the camera rotate more up so he stays in the frame and you can see more of him just trailing off into the distance. would be more of a closure instead of him just leaving the frame and all you end up with is the smoke.

cheers and good luck!


02 February 2008, 04:44 PM
thanks for all the input guys! really appreciate it all. Gonna come back with revisions. But I totally agree with you Phredrek, you pointed out all the things i had in mind and a lot more i couldn't put my finger on. BTW, the clouds to me do not seem to be matching as i thought. Should I attach it to a camera in 3d or do you guys think it's fine how it is now being attached to a 3d camera in after effects.

02 February 2008, 03:55 PM
worry about the animation changes first. haha

do up those changes, then post it back here. after another critique pass you can do up a nice render with the brand spankin' new slick animation and then post it in the fx part of this forum. they'll better be able to help you. but I wouldn't touch anything else until the animation is done.

good luck!

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