View Full Version : frustrated-portfolio piece

12 December 2007, 06:42 AM
Hey all,

Anyone who has seen my postings knows that i am making a few animations to put on my demo reel. I am looking for critiques in regards to "is this animation what an animation director would see and say, let's bring this guy in for an interview?". That is the main thing that I am looking for. The included animation is on it's 4 complete revise. It is getting to the point where it can be nit picked, and there will always be something to critique on it.

Every animation could be done better in some way. Since this animation is so far along, i believe it is at this point. So the critiques i am looking for are things that would be considered "obvious". So thank you guys for all the extremely helpful critiques and thanks for taking the time to read this.

12 December 2007, 08:19 PM
you need to smooth it out a lot more, it still looks snappy specially on the head movements, also your lines of action are not strong enough you have to push your poses a bit more further, and check the timing also...

Personally i dont like the idea of the door falling down just cause he hits the floor with his foot, i dont think its funny, doesnt make me laugh, you should look for an alternative ending or idea, but thats just IMHO.

keep it up!

12 December 2007, 07:52 AM
So your asking the question "is this animation what an animation director would see and say, let's bring this guy in for an interview?".

I guess at the end of the day that is what we all want.

Well still needs some work to be honest. First and foremost where is the Anticipation in the beginning of the animation at frame 0? He is partly into a walk cycle towards the door. Why? What's going on? What's his motivation?

You have an opportunity right here for the audience to start to indentify or least see some kind of emotional build up with this character. There is no emotional attachment as all I see is just a pissed off guy in mid step.

Since the character is starting out half way through some kind of walk cycle, frame 10 really sticks out and has no sense of weight.

At around frame 34 there is another opportunity for the viewer to "feel" what his emotions are. Sure, his face looks super pissed but he is just tugging "gently" at the door. I would expect that in his current state his first initial reaction would be to attempt to swing that door open with a little more force.

What is he doing at frame 82? What is is looking at? Why? As a viewer it's not reading well. Is he in deep thought? Looking up at God? I would change his attention back to the door.

Maybe have him look directly at the door and emulate that he knows who or what is behind it. This would help to show that he is even more pissed and cant get in. Then redirect his anger to where it should be. The handle.

Also during those frames his arms are swinging. Why? What caused that? He didnt generate enough energy to need that type of movement. Just something to think about because it's these kind of subtlety's that will distract the viewer from your storytelling.

Frame 125 - 140 you could really push it here. Now he is really pissed but there is no real sense of weight or body language that shows he wants to knock this damn door down. Face is still pissed but his current body dynamics are reading that he is not capable enough to even crack that door.

Frame 221 - Check your arc here. You could get a really awesome arc here too. From the leg that is planted up through his back and out of the back of his head. Push that pose as far as you can to really show the build up of energy. Your style seems to be cartoony so exaggerate man...get loose with it :)

Frame 230 - 241 Arc on the left wrist....non organic, feels robotic. Follow-through/overlapping animation on the wrist and fingers too, maybe?

Frame 242 - 276 Check your arcs on the arms as they flip around. Also, you have an opportunity to add some more character here. Based on the fact that if he is really pissed and demonstrates some strength. I'd suggest making the guy damn near fall down from the displaced energy. That would be believable.

If you still need to add a gag at the end...have the door just open instead of fall down :twisted:

I hope you dont think I tried to rip your animation. I would never do that and personally, I think it's a really good start but there are a lot of the basic principals that could still be applied and tweaked here. Your original question was "is this animation what an animation director would see and say, let's bring this guy in for an interview?"....

Well, i'm just a student so I'll let you answer that for your self...My question to you is what do you think an animaton director would see?

Trust me when I say that if the studio is any good. They will start going over your reel with the 12 principals being a given just to start. 9 times out of 10 if they dont see a demonstrated strength with those they proably wont watch it all.

Dont get discourgaged though. Just keep tweaking and keep getting C&C. Your animation reel has potential to be really "good". The only way to make it better is to keep getting comments and applying what is needed.

Good luck. :thumbsup:

12 December 2007, 08:53 AM
How luckily you are, Alex... with a wise man like Kid-Mesh to give you C&C frame by frame, I am just jealous....

12 December 2007, 04:43 PM
Hey Dickma,

Wise man? I wish...wouldnt my mom be so proud? (grin)

Naw, actually I've had the opportunity to really see what it's like for people to "truly" critique your work. If someone really wants to grow as an animator you have to put your feelings on hold and not become attached to the piece. Animation is all about observation and it's really helpful if someone can observe things that you are not seeing. Especially if you have been working on it for days.

Wise...nope...but willing to share the little bit I do know :)

12 December 2007, 05:13 PM
I just want to say I do appreciate your effort here...what I think is it is really hard to find somebody can do the C&C with frame by frame. I think I may benefit for myself if I can meet you earlier.

I do know the experiences when somebody do a critique on animation, but it is too hard to figure out where is wrong.


01 January 2008, 07:51 PM
Hey thanks Kid-Mesh. I didn't respond yet cause I've been out of town seein family. Interestingly enough I'm actually just outside of Detroit in Rochester.

Anyways, I think that has to be the most in depth c&c I've ever read and luckily it was about my work. I just got home and so I'm looking over it. When I started out, the main thing I wanted to do was invoke some sort of emotion from the viewer and your crits really helped that.

I'm in the midst of trying to employ those crits. Thanks man.

01 January 2008, 10:46 PM
No problem, I glad that you found some of my comments useful.

I'm just trying to give back to the CG communities as much as i take :)

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