View Full Version : "time's up" - short movie

01 January 2007, 05:50 PM

Download: MOV-H264-12MB ( - WMV - 10MB (

PS: WMV looks better for some reason ^.^ (


hi there folks,
im working on a short movie atm that will be a leading part of my portfolio, ( for college applications ), its basically about war or rather against it ^^. i just finished the animatic and most things arent to clear yet. the first scene shows an old battlefield with a battered rusty swordhandle, a part of mace, probably more detail in the background in the final movie. the animation itself isnt subject to critique yet since its just an animatic to show the story and get a coarse timing. the quotes arent final yet either. also added an audio commentary since the sound will be added in a very late phase. well, see for yourself.

time`s up - animatic - wmv ( rightclick, save as ) (

01 January 2007, 01:36 AM
Hi there Dervish,

a few comments:
-The first quote duration is a bit too short.
-The quote "war, war never changes" could be split into 2 different sequences (i.e. 1st, "war", then e.g. fade out/in "war never changes"). OR, the "war" quote could appear just before we see the mechanical foot, then the foot sequence and the next quote "war never changes". I think it could add some nice "thrill" feeling.

My 2 cents.


Paul B
01 January 2007, 04:49 AM
I think it looks great.

I just thought the "war never changes" quote could be changed to "war never ends" because it seemed the point of your piece is that although war changes, it keeps repeating itself. ( plus, isn't the word "change" also in the following quote?)

I wanted to hold on the mech foot at the end and have a slower fade out, but otherwise I thought the timing was great.

Good luck!

01 January 2007, 09:21 AM
thanks for the comments, they are really helpfull, time to think a lil more about the text ^^.
working on the background/environment at the moment, but that should be done soon, so ill be able to start with the animation.

01 January 2007, 02:20 PM
I like it. It has a good feel to it, and it's a good idea... I'll keep an eye out for this one

01 January 2007, 11:23 AM
hey there again, was quite busy working last week, but heres an update of the landscape, i have to add little stones scattered on the ground yet but i think the feel is coming along well, also the props are missing for the first scene ( broken aged weapons like swords and such ).
not too sure about the light either. gonna leave it at this till evrything else is in the scene.

02 February 2007, 05:02 PM
well first of all i have to give you some major credit for the concept. I can tell that you have put a lot of time into the short storyline, or rather the message that you are trying to get across. at the moment my only advise would be to watch final fantasy the spirits within. ( the special features.) theirs a really good introduction to matte painting. the models that you are using are great, but i just think that you will need to add the same level of detail to the background

02 February 2007, 09:48 AM
thanks for the credit, the concept was the major part of work yet. im not sure what ya mean with models, if its the sword and stuff in the animatic, thats just dummys, gonna make my own models that fit in. about the background, ya are completly right, but i gonna add more detail there in the end, because all the explosions and the tank will take most of the screen, so i can see better then where i need more detail and where not. i also wanna work a lil in compositing to make the elements melt together better.
working on the explosions right now by the way, should have a preview soon.

02 February 2007, 05:43 PM
well, heres a preview of an explosion, its not done as i have in mind yet( ie. debris is missing and renders far too slow), but couldnt get farther today at work ^^. expect a major update soon, gonna work on the short the whole weekend.

02 February 2007, 06:42 PM
sorry for letting ya wait, but was pretty busy at work, heres the latest preview, no camera-shakes yet and no bullets, but scene 1 is mostly done, gonna render most of it on the weekend so there will be a rendered version on monday or tuesday i hope, my soundguy will need it by then since the hole thing needs to be completed by end of february ^^.

time's up - preview 02 - download Mov 5MB Sorenson (

02 February 2007, 05:14 PM
hi folks, pretty big update this time, tough i still have some changes to scene-1 in mind( make the sword look better, add a helm, rework the cam ). feel free to crit away at it ;)

time's up - preview 03 - download quicktime ( (

02 February 2007, 06:48 PM
Cool Project Dervish,

Definitely like the concept...Along with what Paul B said, something about the ending text doesnt work for me...

I dont like how the word "war" repeats itself...maybe you could keep the "war" you have when it the image fades out and add "never changes" to it by disolving them on after the image has gone black. To make this may have to animate the text drifting from left to right or something...

I really like how war is fading in over the Mech foot though, it feels small and insignificant.

02 February 2007, 07:21 PM
hi friend thanx for passing on my thread ... well ,,, I love your idea its a clear message from the nations who want to live in piece .... its simple :)

my crit. is to modify the lighting to make the atmosphere of the war.

nice job man ... good luck


02 February 2007, 07:51 PM
Hi Dervish,

This looks great so far. My suggestions would be to have the camera shake vary in intensity depending on the distance of the explosions and other events. Right now, you have it shake pretty much the same amount both times. Also you might delay the first camera shake (after the distant explosion) by a frame or two to allow for the travel of the shockwave.


02 February 2007, 12:12 PM
thanks for the good crits,

@primitive: i have that quote in mind from one of the fallout game intros ( " ...but war, war never changes...") maybe works better when spoken aswell, gotta try it out, if it doesnt work out, yours is definatly a nice a idea to solve that :)

@splotch: had that in mind , but it would need to be changed dynamically, because at the beginning i need a dead and lifeless atmosphere, somwhat peacefull. and a dynamic change is really hard to make right, takes time what bothers me most since i need to finish this by next week.

@imamog: good point there, havent tought about the shakes too much ^.^, this could kick the realness a lil more, definatly gonna try that

03 March 2007, 10:46 AM
sorry for the holdup but had quite some work to do lately ^^.
well started the foot of the mech, its still wip, hope ya like the style.

04 April 2007, 10:50 AM
ok, got a new deadline for this here since i had some real big jobs to finish at work ^^ needs to be and will be hopefully done by mid-may now. in this new version scene 1 is pretty finished, reworked the cam, the sword, added a helm and some fixes. i will go to scene 2 now, wich i changed the concept for, gonna be pretty spooky dark lightning now with rain and some thunderflashes to light the scene, and shortly before the mech steps in a searchlight from the mech will scan trough the screen. this in contrast to the atmosphere of scene 1 should help understanding the big timeshift. also this verson is with sound now, the sound effects of scene 1 were done by a friend of mine, rolf ableiter, the effects in scene 2 ive stiched together just for preview they will be reworked by him aswell. as for the music, im not sure it works, comments and suggestions on this would be very appreciated. thx for the support.

Download: MOV-H264-10MB ( - WMV - 7MB (

04 April 2007, 07:26 AM
Hey Dude

It looks good. I very much like the sand debri from the explosions, very inspiring... I've had a bit trouble with those myself, and this is good inspiration... but I don't like the smoke from the tank gun, it lacks depth and structure... Are you using afterburn? And maybe put some more war torn objects ind the scene, it looks a bit empty, and make some of those objects go up around the explosion... hehe... I'm just braining.

Good work so far.

04 April 2007, 08:57 AM
Whicked man! How do you do this explosion?!

Remind me COH! Nice WIP.

04 April 2007, 06:07 PM
cool stuff.

not really sure what the object is in the beginnig, so i think the model needs a little more tweaking.

the explosion is a great beginning. it goes up well. the down lacks gravity. it need to increase it rate of descent rappidly.

the tank smoke, can it blow away?

anyway, good stuff.
keep going.

04 April 2007, 12:59 AM
very nice stuff so far. Looking forward to the completed project.

04 April 2007, 10:45 AM
thanks for the nice comments ;)

as for the sand explosions, its pretty simple , lots of particles and pretty high afterburn settings, those explosions are about 60% of the rendertime, was quite a mess optimizing the rendertime when ya have to wait ages for previews but couldnt find a better way ^.^
( average rendertime per frame ( all together ) is about 15min in 640x360 )

so any changes that need to be rendered new will be postponed to some future time, the smoke from the blast i agree with, ill try to put sume more structure into it in fusion, and needs to be less tsrong too i believe, have to play around and try it.

the objects in the beginning are a sword and a helm, could brighten em up a little maybe, theres also a mace and big iron chain in the background.

im still wondering about the music choice, i personally like this sad chorous, but im not sure if it distracts more then it helps build atmosphere, any ideas?

04 April 2007, 04:16 PM
I think it looks great.

I just thought the "war never changes" quote could be changed to "war never ends" because it seemed the point of your piece is that although war changes, it keeps repeating itself. ( plus, isn't the word "change" also in the following quote?)

I wanted to hold on the mech foot at the end and have a slower fade out, but otherwise I thought the timing was great.

Good luck!

I agree.

About the chorus, isn't this Ghost in the Shell theme music?!

04 April 2007, 11:50 AM
hmm yeah, i need to think some more about the quotes

About the chorus, isn't this Ghost in the Shell theme music?!

yapp, at least for the moment, a friend of mine has a nice database of free to use music where i surley could find something similiar in case of publishing or something. the wierd thing about the music is that all my unbiased friends ( who got nothing to do with film ) find it quite fitting, wheres my coleagues find it distracting... ^.^

05 May 2007, 01:18 PM
another update, nearly finished now, hope you like the second scene...
what i wanna do yet, is render a layer to show water moving over the ground, might make it look more realistic. the sound is still the old one so its not synchronised with the new render ^.^, a friend will finish the new till mid next week, by the time i also want to have the hole thing finished, so crit away all you can ;)

ps: tried to make that shot-smoke look better in compositing but didnt work too well, gonna have to rerender that layer.

Download: MOV-H264-12MB ( - WMV - 10MB ( (

05 May 2007, 08:16 PM
Looking good. I think the last shot could hold for a beat or two more to get a better sense of what is going on. Also, I feel like the animation of the foot could come up higher then down. Right now it feels to just slide in instead of step down.

Also, I know what you're doing with the foot of the machine, but it might be nice to see some sort of weapon going on with the foot. Or maybe something else in the fore-ground to show it's a "war" machine. I know what it is because of my history (video games, sci-fi stuff, etc.. etc..) but some one else might say, what was that big foot that stepped in and may not associated it with the other war imagery, just a thought.

05 May 2007, 10:29 PM
beautiful rain sequence...

i agree with Delucubus about the robot foot. it needs to hold longer, and something off in the distance (such as another bot) would help establish its identity. Or even better, after it's foot comes crushing in, the camera pans up revealing the bot, and have him start firing some crazy looking gattling gun (but yah, that might not be where you want to go with it) -- but it's what comes to mind :thumbsup:

and maybe change your ending quote to "war never ends, it only changes" or something to that affect as it would fit with your piece more.

but its definitely looking good -- and that GIS music makes it feel like it is the opening theme to something (kind of cool)

ps. i dont know much about dynamics (the explosion/rain) so if you have any useful links to tutorials on that stuff, I would love to visit them. thx.


05 May 2007, 05:01 AM
Cool Project Dervish! After reading the beginning quote, I'd kinda like to hear some drums! Maybe a war drum starts beating about 3/4 of the way through the opening title and continues through the swordplay? Also, to simply steal ideas from the previous posts ;) Maybe after the foot lands at the end, the camera could rotate on Y to the right so you could see the machine take another few steps heading away from the camera. That way, you only need two legs as I'm assuming there probably isn't a model much higher off screen!

Oh, and agreed about the 'War Never Ends' discussion.

05 May 2007, 06:06 AM
I think this is fantastic. I love it! I have one issue though... Where are the war drums? You reference war drums and then there aren't any so it takes you out of the story for a second.
Maybe, you could have war drums playing from the top, Black background, then the quote fades in with the ominous chord.. then the scene comes in. Meanwhile the drums are getting louder and louder until and the ominous chord continues to play ....Whoom! The first explosion stops the drums and the music, They get replaced by the sound of your explosions. And then the foot comes down and etc..
Just an idea.

05 May 2007, 08:22 PM
thanx for the nice crits and the really good ideas, i will see what i can accomplish in the remaining couple days till i have to send it in.

@delucubus: ive been thinking about making the end sequence slightly longer, gonna have to try it out and see if it gets more or less dramatic. on the mech, well, there is just the foot so far ^.^, but i might just model some hanging down weaponry, really nice idea.

@amaninn: well, no time to model a complete mech ^.^ a pan uwards with a really wide fov would look really dramatic tough, tempting -.-
the dynamics, well, the big explosions in the background were a pain in the ..., basically because of the rendertime of the volumetrics, used thinking particles and afterburn for those, right now im going more in the direction of pflow cause TP has some bugs and its a lot handier to work with pflow, its faster when it comes to lots of simple operations too, thats why i had to do the rain with pflow. on tutorials i cant help ya much, i learned pflow on my last commercial project from a workmate, and TP by try and fail ^.^ but im sure theres at least some good pflow tutorials on the net, just check the major communities. also the help and tutorial files that come with max on pflow explain evrything pretty well, when you want to go more into the hole thing ya should also check out the orbaz pflow plugins for more advanced simulations.

@relio & mookiemu : yeah, the drums, well, i had some drums composed into it a while ago, but they made the battle sound like a part of the music, a friend whos working on the whole sound atm will try and see if he can trick some drums in. the sound right now aint done yet, second scene especially, thats all dummysound from the last animatic.

on the quote, just havent changed it yet, since im still thinking if i might come up with something better then "ends", it sounds kinda finite wich is not the point of why i made that short ^.^ dont want to depress people but rather show that there has to be end, or might it be just my wrong understanding of the language? im open to any suggestions ;)

05 May 2007, 07:48 PM
This looks really sweet, project and that explosion, WOW. I loved the foot coming in at the end! will we get to see whats above that foot in the final film???

Chris Haigh

06 June 2007, 01:53 PM
Hi folks, sorry for no update yet, but i was pretty busy, i got my study place now with the last version, and since i now have a real hole lot to do ^.^ there wont be any updates for some time, but i really hope to be able to give this piece some more finishing touches sometime ;) . thanx once more for all the good ideas and critique :thumbsup:

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