View Full Version : Burdenwoe-6 min. intro

10 October 2006, 10:11 AM
This is the intro to my short film project. It's intended to be dark, so if your brightness is turned up you may want to lower it. I'll warn you that it ends ubruptly and may not make much sense, since the following scenes are the ones that develope the story. Also, it contains copyrighted music which needs to be replaced, so if you're a composer and think you could come up with something feel free to contact me (

streaming Quicktime h.264....
streaming Windows Media.....

I would strongly suggest Dowloading by right clicking and "save target as"

Quicktime ( download, right click and "save target as"
Windows Media (, right click and "save target as"

If you're interested, check out the rest of my site... (

10 October 2006, 02:42 PM
Hey there Corey, youve got some really nice effects going on in this intro, i liked the animals fur, some aspects of the explosion scene and the cloth sim on the end character is great. The animation still needs work expecially on the animals, their movement was odd and at times their feet wernt planted firmly on the ground they appeared to be sliding around. If this upside down head idea isnt a major factor in your storyline i would consider re-thinking it. I would also consider re doing the chase scene, it came across almost comical (especially with the upside down heads) and im sure that wasnt what you were after. Personally I feel that the strongest area of this "intro" is from when the viewer enters the cockpit of the spaceshuttle, the atmosphere is good and the "dark" eerie feel is present, I can see some star wars influence which is nice to see. Good luck with the piece and im looking forward to seeing more. - Adam

10 October 2006, 05:10 PM
xxpntoxx-Thanks for the comment and crit. Agree that the best part is aboard the space ship. As for the creatures before, they were the first thing I animated so my inexperience shows-sliding, feet not quite planted on the ground , etc..The creature part is meant to be a little comical, or light hearted. It's kind of a bait and switch, make the viewer think this is another silly, furry animal animation and then suddenly everybody's vapourized and the tone shifts.

As for the upside down heads...It's gotten a few other concerned comments as well, so I guess I'll try to explian it. Tha idea was to create a fundamentally alien anatomy, the concept was of creatures whose spine and nervous system ran along their underbelly instead of their back. This fundamentally alters their body plan so that their skulls attatch differently, and since their throats would be above their spine instead of below it, their mouths should be above instead of below. Other parts of their body plan were altered too.
Unfortunately none of this reads visually, so all people notice is that their heads are upside down....which may be a little too alien to take seriously....

10 October 2006, 06:11 PM
Ok Corey i understand the creature concept clearer now, I like the idea of a twist in the plot although you have to be careful not to confuse the viewer to the extent of not realising what is going on. Take note that you need to set the scene for the viewer and having a piece begin somewhat comical/light hearted and then change to a more dark/sinister mood can be a little to much to take in. Judging that the reason for the animals to have a reverse anatomy isnt directly linked to the plot i would seriously consider re-designing them. When i first saw them i thought it was just a fictional beast with an upsidedown head, i agree that their difference in anatomy doesnt read visually. As for the animation its fair enough to say that you have done a decent job for it bieng a first try at animating and with practice and experience things will improve. To be honest i would consider changing the beginning of your piece up to the explosion, i think you could make it alot stronger and viewer friendly. You clearly have some good talent and with the right ideas this could really work, possibly even remove the twist and keep it dark and sinister from the start. - Adam

10 October 2006, 06:17 PM
xxpuntoxx-Sound advice. Having invested so much time in creating the fur, animating, rendering and comping the creature scenes i may have lost objectivity with regards to its relevance. To experiment i think i'll cut a version of the intro that simply begins with the facility and the ship leaving and see how it plays.

10 October 2006, 07:38 PM
...Anymore crits or comments out there? I'm seriously considering triming most of the first two minutes of this piece-getting rid of most of the creature scenes since they are the weakest part.
I'd like feedback on wether people think this is a good idea....

Comments and crits are like nourishment to an artist. Don't be shy.

CGTalk Moderation
10 October 2006, 07:38 PM
This thread has been automatically closed as it remained inactive for 12 months. If you wish to continue the discussion, please create a new thread in the appropriate forum.