View Full Version : animation critique

12 December 2002, 04:27 AM
hello all, I'm really trying to improve at animating and i figured a short piece showing struggle is a good way to get better. I could really use any advice on what needs tweaking. I'm trying to offset my keys to make the movements less robotic but i'm not sure if it looks right. wadya think ??

12 December 2002, 08:37 AM
That looks very nice dude I would say work on some of the transitions between him pulling up and him pulling with his back on the ball. Good job, what is this going to be for? Keep it up -Jeremy- :applause:

12 December 2002, 09:44 AM

It's pretty sweet. If you lock those hands and feet a little tighter it'd help. Timing is nice, and the poses are strong. The kick feels a little soft.

12 December 2002, 10:33 AM
thanks Roach[MXF], I was kinda going for that sharp transition between those poses. you got me wondering if they look right though, hmm, ill try it with that part slowed down, thanks man!

thanks AWAKE , alright, i'll definetly fix the arms and legs from moving around. good point about the kick being soft,ill exxagerate it a bit more. thanks !!:)

12 December 2002, 03:47 PM
Watch the feet...they are sliding all over the place.

12 December 2002, 12:44 AM
thanks ed209, sorry to bother you but what part do the feet look like they are sliding around on? is it as he's getting up? gosh, i think i see it now. figuring out what foot turns and what foot holds the wieght is tricky.i'll try and change that around, thanks man, i would have never of noticed that!:)

12 December 2002, 10:51 AM
hey guys, heres a update of the character. i hopefully successfully fixed the feet sliding, let me know what you think. i gotta clean up the hands and fingers but i wanted to see if the rest looks good before i go onto the hands.:)

12 December 2002, 02:15 PM
Hey tubby

The update is an improvement. Here are some things that I see:

His feet slide around. It look like you've created keys but have no type of tension on them. So they end up shooting past and then returning to their stopping point. Make the keys on the feet with a ease in/out tension on them so that they stay in place. Also, when he moves his feet, pick them up off the ground between the positions so that he 'picks up' his feet.

When he stands up and turns, there is a point there that he is off balance. His right leg is coming around in front of him and his weight is over that leg....he'd fall over. :) Let him stand on both feet, plant his right foot, move his waist over his right foot, and then swing his body and left foot around. You'll probably have to take some little steps to get both feet repositioned but it'll make it look good. ALSO: Full body turns are not easy to do...there is twisting of the torso that happens. Try rotating his head first, followed by the shoulders, then by the waist. Also rotate his body into the turn a bit.

I'd make the kick more exagerated still. It looks like a little 'fooey' kick, which may likely be what he's doing. A more exagerated, frustrated hard kick will be more funny though.

I'd also make his last push on the ball his biggest effort before giving up. It looks like you've got the pose right (except for his head going through the ball :)), but hold it there longer...You know, that "ARRRRRGGG---RRGGHHHH--UUHHNNNMMM" last go at it. You could also have him trembling a little.

The camera cut isn't working for me. It's in the same spot. If you're wanting to show the passing of time, try a fade from one shot to the other as opposed to a cut. It'll sell the passing of time better.

It looks good. Just needs some tweaking in some places. Don't worry, we all have to tweak and tweak. ;)

Let 's see the updates...

12 December 2002, 07:11 PM
wow, that is some awesome feedback rogue, thanks! I understand all the points you made except this one "It look like you've created keys but have no type of tension on them. So they end up shooting past and then returning to their stopping point." what part is that at? I'm gonna spend some serious time in the next couple days on this animation and I won't be able to sleep until I am sure of what part your talkin about. :) Do you have suggestions for the camera cutting part if I dont want to do a fade, should I just animate him turning around?

It's unbelievable how I think it looks good and as soon as I read all the suggestions it looks like poo all of a sudden,hahahahah. Thanks guys, I promise the next update will be better!:)

12 December 2002, 01:58 PM
Hey tubby

Oppps, I hope you slept last night. :) The foot slide happens in the very beggining. Watch his right foot. When he steps into place, his foot slides forward, then back a on a skate. The next step does the same thing. Look at your curves for your foot controller. Between the keys where he steps into place and where he moves his foot again should be a perfectly flat line.

Yes, animate him turning around as opposed to a cut or fade.

Post the updates!

12 December 2002, 06:42 PM
thanks Rogue, man , I must have spent a good hour staring at my animation looping over and over trying to find that sliding spot, ahahaahahaha!:)I'm gonna fix that part right now! thanks , I'm also gonna try and find a way to make the key numbers visible in the preveiw to make it easier to critique. I'll post an update really soon, appreciate your help!:)

12 December 2002, 04:43 AM
I'd add some more anticipation to all his major actions, including the kick. I think his toes turning up when he pushes the ball with his back are physically incorrect. You may make his feet slide at this moment instead.

01 January 2003, 05:24 AM
thanks for the suggestions dvornik, yeah i got rid of the foot lifting part, it did look off. I've been away from my computers for like 3 weeks and didnt get to update until now, sorry about lagging. I hope this looks better, i went and added all the changes suggested, please tell me what you think:)

01 January 2003, 02:37 PM
Hey tubby. It's getting there. Just a little more tweaking here and there. Here's a couple of things that might could help out.

His hands move away from their grasping points when he heaves the ball. I think if his hands were nearly locked in place, that'd help sell the weight.

Let's see, the second time he tries to lift the ball (the one before he stands up, about 3 seconds into it), his back remains fairly straight. I think if you'd rotate it forward a little when his trying to lift it, it'd help it look heavier. I figure he'd have his back more erect at the start of the heave, but as his waist pushed upward, his back would be limited by his arms being on the ball..hence, he could have a little arch in his back there.

Also, I think you should lean his body forward more when he stands up. I think that'd help a little. Also, don't forget to offset his chest motion so that you've got some overlaping actions.

On the second time he stands, he's still off balance when he stands up. On frame 297...see, he's getting ready to fall backwards. :)

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