View Full Version : Late, Late, Late! March crit needed, 11 hrs left!

03 March 2005, 09:00 PM
Heres my wicked late entry, I just got back from vacation and knocked this out in about 8 hours strait! Need a few good crits while i still have 11 hours left to submit it! Please be BRUTAL!


03 March 2005, 11:47 PM
It's not bad, but it doesn't seem like it has been tweaked to a point that I would call finished. I don't like how the torso and feet are static the whole time. He would be much more dynamic and seem more alive if he shifted his weight and slid a leg over while he is acting through the dialogue. His arms are fidgeting so why not the rest of him. And he stays in that one undynamic pose the whole time. Try more interesting and varied poses. It often looks good if you shift the spine from convex to concave as a character goes through his acting. His acting should be subtle, fitting the emotion of the dialogue, but that doesn't mean he can't have dynamic poses.

You also might want to think of adding more ease in and ease out to the arms for motions that start and stop slowly and some overshoot for snappier motions. It's kind of jerky and stiff right now.

The camera move is very awkward and sudden. I would put him closer to the window so his mother is just out of frame and you can do a more elegant and subtle pan over to her.

Hope that helps! What's this being submitted for?

03 March 2005, 12:46 PM
Well time has run out! I had to submit my entry for this month, I know it is not completed, but I am going to keep working on it to get it to where I want it to be. I have done some changes since last night here it is. (

seankeeton: Thanks for the last min crit. I didnít have time to adjust the total position of his feet and shifting of his weight. As I would have liked to do. So I will be adding that to it no that the deadline has been passed. I added a little more movement in his hips. Trying to make his body appear less rigid. I changed the camera movement by bringing the mother in closer, slowing the movement down. And I have started working on the easing in and out of movements.

Will have more tonight.


04 April 2005, 05:49 PM
Well at least i made it in on the deadline for voting. You can vote for it here im Entry 98.

you can see my updates here.


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04 April 2005, 05:49 PM
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