View Full Version : First real animation attempt - NEED FEEDBACK

12 December 2004, 08:00 PM
Hi Everyone,
This is my first real attempt at animation. I am a junior at the School of Visual Arts in New York. I am gearing up for my thesis and I need all the critiques I can find. Thanks to everyone and Happy Holidays! Please right click on the link and save. The file size is 2.5 megs. (

12 December 2004, 06:25 AM
Hi AcmeImages,
great stuff ;) I like the design of the character, scene and situation. A couple things that may need some more finesse:

stance - he feels like he is standing on his toes instead of planting firmly to make a swing. watch pro golfers hit with a driver. toes point forward/out, abdoment leans slightly forward, etc.
wrist - I'm no golfer, but it looks like he's chipping at the ground instead of swinging for a drive. on the club's swing up, it is carried and angled by his wrists instead of his arms. the power of the shot comes from the shoulders and the forearms.
acceleration - the club seems to accelerate only when impact instead of before. it slows down a little too fast, and unnaturally comes to a stop. I am expecting to see the typical golfer's pose at the end, with the body carrying with the club, leaning forward - with the club behind his head with both arms.

good start! will you be using this for the thesis film? Be sure to PM me a link to the thread when you begin it!! Short films rock!

Mr. Ferguson
12 December 2004, 06:53 AM
before he brings his right hand up to his forehead after hitting the ball his hand does a funky little double bounce.

12 December 2004, 04:02 PM
Thanks for taking the time to look! I will get back at it today....Happy Holidays!

12 December 2004, 09:49 PM
There's a couple things I'd work on.

1. The swing. This is the most noticible. It looks a little forced. I don't know if you're a golfer or not, but a trick I learned is to imagine that there is a large pane of glass from your shoulders to the ball, and that the club glides across the surface. There are tons and tons of golfing sites on the net that have step-by-step pictures of a good swing. In your animation it doesn't look like there's enough shoulder movement, or upper body twist. Not to mention, his hand should be on the club all the way through the swing.

2. Anticipation. When the robot hits that ball, you want him to really smack it good. The way to communicate this to the audience is using anticipation. Have him take a few practice strokes, bend his knees a little more, etc. Then when he swings, make sure that the club decelerates to a stop at the top of the swing, pause for a frame or two, and then smoothly accelerates all the way through the swing until it decelerates again at the end of the swing. Also, paul.yan has the right idea on the follow through. You want that club to come all the way around.

It's a great start though, and I like the look so far. Keep it up!

p.s. Oh yeah, one more thing: since it's a robot, you also have the ability to hit the ball in a lot of different ways. You could just have him spin his entire torso section until he picked up enough speed, for example. Depends on the script, though.

12 December 2004, 07:07 AM

I thing that the pose when hes taking hes swing at the maximum could be alot more stronger,
same thing for the end pose of the swing. EXAGERAATE!!

Its my opinion still :P

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