LC #42 Pipers Alley

View Full Version : ENTER THE MORON Animation critique

10-29-2004, 10:16 PM
Hi all, I've posted a WIP thread for the FU-Bears but thought I'd be best to seek some serious critiques for the animation side of things for the first short ENTER THE MORON. It will be around 3 minutes in length and will showcase some kung fu, comedy, and dialog. I'm training myself in all aspects of the process on this project so I really appreciate any advice or criticism on offer.
Here's a shot

And here's the link
(right click, save target as) 3.8mb standard avi
This is a blast of the first 32 seconds of the short
ENTERTHEMORON29_10_04.avi ( link space...updated link in next post

Please I'm seeking general crits on all animation, particularly cinematography and character.

Thanks a bundle

11-05-2004, 11:56 AM
Hey all here's the 69seconds I have wipped up so far
Looking for crits on pacing, timing, shot flow, animation...basically anything that moves

5.2mb Quicktime Right click-save target as (

toto poto
11-05-2004, 02:41 PM
wow, that looks kind of psychedelic :)

11-05-2004, 08:42 PM
wow, that looks kind of psychedelic :)
Thanks toto poto...What did you think of the animation?

Btw heres some grabs I meant to post before they're from the link

the link again (


toto poto
11-05-2004, 10:48 PM
the animation is really strange. kind of frightening (together with the sound). it is like being on a bad lsd :) it looks like the bears in their movement are fighting against becoming liquid again. or melting. if that is the effect you wanted to achieve it is cool. it is hard to jude the animation without knowing your intention or the context. i think it wasn´t your intention to animate them in a realistic way, as i can see that the liquid characters are indeed animated correctly in their very own physics. the only thing thats not moving correctly is the red punshingbag(is this the right word?) which should swing out more softly.
yes, it is strange, but cool, because it is different... :)

11-06-2004, 12:09 AM
Hi again toto poto. I'm assuming by the word 'liquid' you mean the 'squash and stretch' but I'm not sure

as far as psychedelic I'm still far from understanding...maybe your lsd is better than mine?

As for my intention I set out to create appeal, natural but exaggerated and flowing animation, and establish character personalities.

I also wanted to create something that stands out from the crowd through some quirkiness and originality...

Thanks for your comments and time, back soon

ps I hate that punching bag...I'll get back to it

toto poto
11-06-2004, 12:50 AM
yes, the bodies look like they have got no bones/skeleton. and they are looking as if they are melting. or kind of fighting against melting. or maybe as if they are pump-up figures which are losing air. as they are smiling all the time the effect is kind of psychedelic to me :)

11-06-2004, 01:17 AM
Aaaaaah toto poto now I bones...saggy pumpup...I want them to move sorta like stuffed toys...The fact that they're smiling is just the current lack of a facial expression pass...onmytodolist.

Thanks toto poto you made me laugh at myself:thumbsup:


11-07-2004, 03:51 PM
Hi sumdumguy, looks like you've made a great start there. Overall it's great, I like the squash and stretch you've got going, it really exagerates the action.
I'll just point out the main things that I noticed with the animation.

In shot 3 if you put a bit of aniticipation in the punch, so he brings his hand back [and whole body while your at it] before going forwards it'll give it more strength.

Shot 7 with the guy walking down the stairs is the weakest part. It's quite a long shot but the walk just looks awkward and not like an old man. His left arm is the main culprit, there's just too much movement going on whilst his whole motion should be a lot more contained. The same for his walk later on in shot 21, I had that character more down as a yoda type. Old, really slow moving and stiff when not fighting, then going crazy when the fighting starts.

Also the sneak in shot 9 still needs a bit of work, check out 'the animators survival kit' by richard williams for some great sneak cycles. You obviously know about the punch bag...
Lastly if you tighten up the timing of the trip in shot 16 it will have more impact.

Hope that helps, Love to see more...


11-09-2004, 10:31 AM
Hey stu_vaz:thumbsup: You're a legend! thanks man for your time, and thoughtful critique...Will follow thru on your advice soon.

I just bought another gig of ram so I can add more FU to this short (yay) and while I was slapping it into my beautiful machine I had to pull my agp for room...I noticed a large buildup of dust on all the components. Cleaning it felt good so I started pulling some more components for better access to dust (this is gonna end in tears) All was going great until I pulled the heatsink and bent the pins in a year old p4_2.6 processor...good feeling gone... I tried to straighten some of the pins in a desperate effort to salvage my ego (muttering inaudibly 'it's still's still good') when I pulled one of the pins s s s l l l o o o w w w w motion...It really hurt...and it really cost me $330 but I got a p4 3.0Ghz prescott in its place so there is a tiny consolation so faster computer with more thinking space is good but slightly shattered fragile male ego not so good...O I didn't mention that the rear axle siezed on my bike before this happened so I had to walk it home dead...I fully killed my computer...and then to top it all off I broke the ice cream scoop that night making desert...the scoop sent me totally feotal...Haven't had a day like that for a while and haven't fully recovered so I may take a day or 2 4 me to dive back into this project...

Moral of the story...If it aint broke don't fix it...

11-16-2004, 07:43 AM
Hey guys, I've recovered from my little urmm...mishap...let us never speak of it again...

I've a cool update here, It's just over a minute long and starts about 40 seconds into the short, from when seefu comes into dojo, onward...I'm chasing down that 3 minute mark and getting there

Have a look and let me know what you think...

3.8mb quicktime. Right click-save target as ( link now dead, plz see below for updates


11-19-2004, 06:47 AM
Hey all, I'm back with some many corrections you folk so kindly pointed out for me, cheers:thumbsup:

This animation goes to just under the 2 minute mark and the action is starting to hot up, would really appreciate critiques mainly on the animation and shot flow if possible, but am more than happy to take on board any crits or comments that might help me make this into something more...

6.3mb Quicktime, right click- save target as (

Thanks:thumbsup: your input helps me very muchly

11-20-2004, 08:22 PM
Hey out there, anyone take the time to critique the above animation?

Also, I'd really appreciate any criticism about the current render status of the project, here's some snaps
14 directional lights in all, 5 casting shadows.
thanks for the advices so far...

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