View Full Version : Flash Animation up for Critique

02 February 2004, 12:01 AM
I'm doing this for a final in a class that I'm taking. Please let me know what you think. I want brutally honest opinions and comments...if you don't like something, tell me!

Dorks part1 (

Michael Chen
02 February 2004, 07:53 AM
Some bits of the sound are hard to interpret, since it's a bit too fast sometimes.

The lip sync is done pretty well.

The characters don't move much, only their arms and facial expression changes.

Overall I like it, pretty funny :)

02 February 2004, 01:54 PM
I figured this would all be completed in stages:
1 lipsync
2 video game part
3 arms
4 whatever else needed to be fixed.

I'm going to continue to work on it and I do realize they are a little stiff. Also, here's a transcript of what they are saying.

Smart Kid: um
Dork: what?
Smart Kid: I had this idea for a game...
Dork: uh huh
Smart Kid: yeah, a fighter or something
Dork: who's fighting?
Smart Kid: I was thinking Transformers vs StarWars...
Dork: What?
Smart Kid: Think about it, Vadar vs Megatron..
Dork: That is so stupid
Smart Kid: No, no, it has potential
Dork: no, not
Smart Kid: you have any ideas?
Dork: how bout you and chunky mcfatass here fight
Smart Kid: wha?
Dork: yeah, I was thinking take the two of you dorks
put you in some sort of post apocalyptic neo tokyo
give you a health bar and some kinda dork meter
whoever dorks out first pulls an akira and kills everyone
Smart Kid: who wins?
Dork: no're dorks.

02 February 2004, 05:54 PM
Hehe, Nice style! The lipsync goes perfect here, and the animation goes very smooth too.. Maybey u could add some stuff on the background when they talk..

02 February 2004, 03:01 PM
I think the characters are very well designed. The voice-over is great. I do have a couple of suggestions though.

The first fellow doesn't seem to look at the third fellow at all. Even though he's speaking to him. I think he should be focused on the third fellow until he say the bit about "Transformers vs. Star Wars", then looks off into the distance, then looks back to the third fellow after that statement. It may give more emphasis on the statement. Like, Transformers vs. Star Wars will be this huge production. Hopefully you get what I mean, kind of hard to explain.

Secondly, the third fellow's pose looks like he's about to take a step forward. I think a stronger standing pose would be better. This pose may work better when he makes the suggestion about the first guy and the chubby dude being a game. It may also give better emphasis on that statement.

And lastly, I would work on the background a bit. Add a light source and some shadowing to give it more feeling. I'll attached a sample shot so you know what I mean.

Hopefully I wasn't too harsh. I think it is a very cool short and with a little tweaking can be really good.

Background/Shadow Reference:

02 February 2004, 02:03 PM
I'm so glad that everyone has had great ideas. I am going to concentrate on adding more head and body movement.
My weekend looks kinda empty so I'll be sitting in front of the Mac keyframing!

Thanks for all of your comments, I'm copying and pasting into a document so I can keep track.

I didn't really put much thought into the background because I had wanted to concentrate on the kids. Now that I see that it has been mentioned here and on another forum I figure I should change it.

I promise not to disappoint.

02 February 2004, 07:01 PM
I'm not sure if it's enough but I wanted it to look like a section of hall near my office in the school. I'm probably going to add a poster behind the 3rd kids head to break the flatness that those 2 similar colors create.

I finally have access to my tower so I'm going to work on the 1st kid's profile and some body movements today.

Thanks for looking and telling me what you all think.

03 March 2004, 07:15 PM
Now I know not to lip sync until after animating the characters. I can't get them to move smoothly due to the fact that their heads and bodies are seperate movieclips. If I go moving the body around, the head has to follow and I have to change it's position on every keyframe I did a mouth movement on.
It was a good learning experience and I got lots of good feedback. The next one will definetly be better.

03 March 2004, 10:32 AM
Congratulations, itīs cool.
I like it, you have worked many hours.
The lip sync is very good

The sound has very good quality, how did you recorded it?

Only the color of the trousers of the boy that speak is very similar to the color of the background and the skin, I change it.

03 March 2004, 11:39 AM
I bought a logitech USB mouse and used Apple's Sound Studio program. I recorded each kid's voice then sped it up a little to get a higher pitch. My natural voice sounded to deep even when making their voices. After that I cut and pasted then 3rd kids parts into the first to get one track. Then just imported the audio into Flash and did the synching.

In the future I'll do the character animation first because having all those keyframes for the head really limited how much I couldn't animate.

I just did another real short silent animation for class last weekend that I'll post as soon as I put a preloader on it.

Thanks for your comments.

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