View Full Version : *drop time*
11 November 2003, 10:29 PM
+digital image + freehand painted + ps7/elements + optic mouse+
something i've done to illustrate the poem that follows:
*waiting for the funeral,
i saw a bird fly into a close window,
thinking how life seems dark sometimes.
it looked like a closed window till i got inside
and discover a fantastic gallery
a free place of many levels,
a place i could feel peace.
movement made without friction
skimming and rapid as on perfect roller skates
a journey into the steamy underworld
of similar and diferent minds!*
(c)T/03.11.09 (updated) (http://dreamzboard.proboards2.com/index.cgi?board=poetrypoetry&action=display&num=1068425507&start=0)
11 November 2003, 10:31 AM
interesting poem... well, I have to confess I'm confused with what you are doing with her left eye there... If you were thinking of maybe the "window into the soul" thing, might I suggest something more like.. only showing her left eye and have the reflection in it show the room? something like that.... or maybe even just the reflection of the bird in the eye... *shrug*
11 November 2003, 06:43 PM
I think there is too little going on here for us to make much of a constructive comment on. That's not to say you should add a whole lot more -- it's more a reflection on the fact that this piece lies more on the fine art side of the line than most.
I certainly found the image engaging and it held my attention while I tried to "wor it out".
11 November 2003, 08:01 PM
@Drakaran, thank u so much for taking the time,
i'll try to explain the poem and character,
to me, the left eye is representative,
still of a diferent open window,
tree branches running together like interlaced fingers,
over the tunnel the electric signal drifts into my brain,
thankz again 4 the input ;0]
11 November 2003, 08:08 PM
@Mark, your presence is encouraging,
thank u so much for the insight ;0]
11 November 2003, 02:03 AM
I am going to try my hand at this but please forgive me if I donít make any senseÖ This is all very new to me.
I think we enter here a realm that leaves reason behind so itís tough. To me the picture and the poem echo each other really well. They both leave a sense of spiraling schizophrenia that makes my head spin wonderfully. Am I the Bird? Am I dying? Perhaps I am bothÖ. Well in short your combo places me in a strange neverwhere and it works for me.
As for the picture itself I believe it could become more intense or stronger. Perhaps by playing with the bird (it feels a little too wimpy there) you could frame the face and the picture more efficiently. Also I understand the grey (smoke like) shape next to the bird is there to frame the pic but it feels a little dead.
Perhaps increasing the spiral of black and white would make the picture more hypnotic.
I am not quite sure what the wet blob thing is but it suggests to me that all this vertigo is nice and dandy but in the end..wellÖitís decay awaiting us. It creeps me and itís great.
As for the poem, the mention of the roller skates kind of killed the mood for me.
I told you folks I was going on a tangent here and I hope itís ok. Please Tell me if it's not.
In conclusion I think it really cool but the picture is not really there yet.
Dream on. Regards,
11 November 2003, 11:35 AM
i can totally understand your view and review on this work,
and i do agree that working more color contrast and shades,
could increase emotional inpact and make it stronger,
thank u so much for the feedback Joel it's realy appreciated
11 November 2003, 08:29 AM
are you working on an update of this piece?
11 November 2003, 02:20 PM
Drakaran i don't think i will, at least 4 now,
just because i don't have enought time to do all i need to,
i tell u what, feel free to manipulate it as u wish,
i'd love to see your version of this image of mine ;0]
12 December 2003, 07:41 AM
12 December 2003, 04:26 PM
yes, why not?! yhis is an interactive board.
it's not about YOU or ME. It's about US,
all growing, struggling, improving,
we can help each other solve problems,
i don't mind if u take the image and manipulate it at your own will!
12 December 2003, 12:54 AM
this is just my opinion, since it's hard to get facts about the emotion of something.
I don't like that eye/window thing. It looks like strange smearing, and so it doesn't draw me in. Something more subtle would suit the peice far better. I think that it would suit the poem better if you brought the picture in closer to the eye (unedited eye) and changed the pupil to a bird. That way it would be like the eye is the window...
12 December 2003, 11:28 AM
I see pain, sorrow and sadness. It wonderful. You are truely an amzaing artist.
12 December 2003, 02:31 PM
Keiyentai thank u so much for the words,
those are indeed the feelings i wanted to convey!
01 January 2006, 05:00 PM
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