Animation: Clay Pigeons

[malkavian2003]

i would like to see some motion on the fingers (i recomend the pinky finger) of the black/purple(?) guy when he gets poked, also a little more left eye movement.
when the eyeball comes falling back to the ground it would be nice if it was to the left more. as it is now it just barly makes it in to "action safe frame"
also as a point of intrest, when the left eye pops out it would be nice when it stops to have the pupil face the camra. having a stand alone eyeball staring at the viewer might add some drama/intrest.
overall it is a great piece of aniamation.

[animation-angel]

hey fattyLees,

i really liked your animation. I think its great that you used simple characters, so that you could concentrate on your animation. I think that its not very clear that the yellow guy is surprised or interrupted by the voice when he accidently pull the other guy's eye out with his stick. I would try to make him look around, and look at the camera like malkavian2003 suggested. Also when he is going use the rock to replace the eye, perhaps make it more evident that he sees the rock, like an "aha" moment, right after his pose with his finger to his mouth.

Hope that helps

Great animation!! Very funny

[Annuostivix]

haha, good job. I downloaded this the other day, saw it in my documents, and remembered to watch it. it was definitely worth the time :)

But anyhow, you could improve the scene in my opinion by adding a little more personality to the yellow guy. I love the black guy, his motions are great. But your yellow guy needs more defined purpose to his actions. I think that about sums it up from me, and as an extra short animation, you're displaying really cool skills, and a good sense of humour :) I'm not an animator yet, so I'm mayyybbeeee not a great source of criticism or help ;)

[jgil]

Youve got some great motion going. The only thing I see that could help is the acting part of it. The part I think could really sell the personality of the yellow character would be the moment in which he is caught. The surprise of being caught and then trying to hide the evidence. Such as throwing the stick away, or hiding it behind his back are just a couple ways of achieving this. And then of course the innocent smile. That's when the character then feels compelled to fix the situation by using the rock. Good Job, keep up the good work!

[mayanut]

great job! very funny!
i agree with most of the comments so far, esp. animation angel's point about the "aha" moment. first time through i didn't catch that he was trying to replace the eyeball. it thought he was just beating the poor guy up some more. don't be afraid to go over the top. :) the only other minor comment is to make sure your character doesn't go completely still. he does this when he pauses after flinging the eyeball out. keep the hold, but just make sure there is slight motion in the character. especially the arm. you could also achieve this by adding some more follow-through on the stick. have it bend back and forth gradually reducing the amount of bend until it goes back to straight. right now it sort of snaps back to straight.

[fattyLees]

!!!Updated 11/18/03!!!

Hey all

I fixed this animation according to some of the suggestions...it's a quick fix I did before an interview, but a fix none the less.
take a look

http://www.fattylees.com/images/barney_2MPEG.avi

-Fatty

[Bullseye]

This is coming along really nice, I just saw a couple little things that I saw.

It seems when he is told not to poke the body with a stick he reacts before he gets the command, kind of like he has heard it before she says it. I think there should be a little more of a pause there. Because the reason he is going for the rock is to avoid using the stick, but he should have a thought about it before he does it. I think he should have a little more eye contact with her during the command too. Maybe quick glances.

Also when he is caught I love how he tosses the stuck eyeball up into the air, but I think he should try and hide the stick behind his back after he examines it to see if the eyeball is at the end. Also this will give you the pause you need for him to consider her command for a second and then go for the rock.

I also think maybe he should drop the stick after she tells him not to use it, and it would be clear that he dropped the stick near his side. One other thing I noticed is that he steps onto the blood as if it is a solid object ontop of the ground. Definitely have his foot immerse into the blood and maybe a little slippery. The rock also seems to be sitting on top of the blood as well. It should also be immersed in the blood asthe pool has grown around the rock.

The other thing I think you should add is a last look at the person that is issuing the command at the end. Kind of like "is this cool then?" and maybe have a little pause there before the end.

and maybe have the second eye ball bounce just outside the pool of blood because in reality the blood would kind of splatter. I realize you can only go so far with animation, but people may wonder why the blood isnt splattering.

There are a couple of wierd things happening with the knees as he extends and then relaxes, maybe even the knee is popping the wrong way? not sure

This animation is great man, I absolutely love it.

I'll be watching for updates

Good Luck,
Bull

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