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zlinx
03-01-2011, 11:41 PM
hey guys, just submitting this drawing here because it was declined on the main Gallery.
they said "this work does not yet meet our standards as a completed piece". Didn't understand why because the other version was accepted.

Please tell me does this look unfinished???

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/438/zineaoffmodev2da.jpg (http://img26.imageshack.us/i/zineaoffmodev2da.jpg/)

cowboifunk
03-02-2011, 04:21 AM
I think your other piece was accepted because she had a tinted glass helmet. With the stricter acceptance standards her face does look unfinished.

She could use more rendering with her nose and mouth area/lips. They do not have enough shading, and the left side of her face looks particularly flat.The harsh use of black on her mouth is the biggest unfinished look in my opinion since the black hasn't been blended into the mouth on either side of her face. The lips also do not follow the exaggerated shadows on her face and half of her lips are glowing on the right side.

Her eyebrows look unfinished, and more like tattoos. The way it is now, it looks at the stage where it's almost done. Also she is viewed inside of a glass face mask, but there is illusion of glass (no reflection or refraction?) like you indicated in your other piece.

I hope this helps you a little. I really like this piece, the grainy look and sci-fi atmosphere is something I personally enjoy :)

zlinx
03-02-2011, 08:31 AM
hmm so the face seems to be the major problem. I'm going to spend some more time detailing the face. About the glass it needs some kind of reflection without erasing to much of the face.
thanks for the feedback.

stuh505
03-03-2011, 06:54 PM
hmm so the face seems to be the major problem. I'm going to spend some more time detailing the face. About the glass it needs some kind of reflection without erasing to much of the face.
thanks for the feedback.

That would be my sentiment as well. In particular the mouth shape looks like she is making a "kissy face" rather than the lips being in a natural pose. However with that said, it does look very good and I'm sure you'll get it accepted with a little more work :)

BillyWJ
03-07-2011, 11:42 PM
The flatness of the helmet is fighting with the depth of the face. Try adding some volume to the helmet, with shading and highlights, and see if that helps.

Also, the level of detail on the face and helmet don't match the neck and shoulder area.

Hope that helps!

stroggtank
03-08-2011, 05:18 PM
The flatness of the helmet is fighting with the depth of the face. Try adding some volume to the helmet, with shading and highlights, and see if that helps.

Also, the level of detail on the face and helmet don't match the neck and shoulder area.

Hope that helps!

Yeap, I agree with that being the main issue, also, the light is very confusing. I canīt tell where the main light source is coming from, face and helmet looks like having different lighting.

zlinx
03-08-2011, 11:06 PM
thanks for all the feedback guys. With all the mistakes I decided to draw a new face so here is the WIP. what do you think?

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/4336/faceva.jpg (http://img97.imageshack.us/i/faceva.jpg/)

stuh505
03-09-2011, 03:18 AM
The shape of the lips looks much better now! Nice work. I think the bottom of the nose needs to be shifted up a little but other than that it looks good. It's a bit difficult to see the proportions with this awkward "mask crop" but overlaying it on top of the "average female face" it looks good (after correcting the nose).

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/5899/faceov.gif

cowboifunk
03-09-2011, 05:35 AM
The new face looks great so far. I much prefer her eyes in this version, they're a lot more commanding and draws the viewer in immediately.

zlinx
03-10-2011, 04:30 AM
hey guys, I haven't finished the face, but I was playing around with the helmet design and glass and wanted to show the progress.

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/5687/beforeaftert.jpg (http://img69.imageshack.us/i/beforeaftert.jpg/)

cowboifunk
03-10-2011, 06:18 AM
Everything looks 10x better than the original. Although I hope you'll keep some of the elements from the first version like the desaturated tone and the dramatic shadowing on the right side of her face, just to keep it from becoming just a simple portrait, and give it a hint of tension.

I don't know if I'm a fan of the new lenses covering her eyes. It's a neat design and looks cool, but it brings attention to her nose which, I feel, is the weakest feature on her face, and seems like an odd addition since she's already behind a glass mask?

BillyWJ
03-10-2011, 08:48 PM
I figured out what's bothering me.

On a helmet like that, there would be no straight lines, it would all be curved. The curves you have are fighting with the flat plane of the straight lines. You have volume fighting with 2d, that's very awkward.

RicoD
03-11-2011, 07:43 AM
Oh yeah, much better! The face could use some harder lighting to integrate better with the suit. Would also be awesome if you added some story elements. Like, something reflected in the helmet. Maybe a spaceship coming out of hyperspace or something else approaching her?

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03-11-2011, 07:43 AM
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