Still life (I guess!) : Dying World

[gorgon]

I think this piece has a real sense of mystery to it. I like the way you are not quite putting everything together,...leaving room for the viewers imagination. Nice.

[Dave Black]

Please read the rules of this forum before posting. You need to edit your post to include a wireframe. You should also specifiy exactly on what you need critiqued.

Thank you for your cooperation.

-3DZ

[azazel]

I like it. Looks like a photomanipulation, not much like 3d :). IMO this grunge/dirt on the upper part is tad too pronounced. tone it down a bit and maybe remove these black spots in the center of the image - they make the characters harder to read.

[phobos]

As you can see from the wireframe picture it's 3d. I guess that's my main challenge. To create pictures that you can't really distinguish what part is 3d what part is 2d etc and really concentrate on the piece and not the means of creation. This freedom of tools allows you to create a scene exactly as you like it to look, and doesn't limit you to a particular medium and style.


"tone it down a bit and maybe remove these black spots in the center of the image"

With these elements I'm showing that even the whole picture is destroyed not only this world. So if I tone down these elements my approach to the subject will be completely different.

I'm trying to start a conversation don't get me wrong with my absolute opinions!!!

[azazel]

As you can see from the wireframe picture it's 3d. I guess that's my main challenge. To create pictures that you can't really distinguish what part is 3d what part is 2d etc and really concentrate on the piece and not the means of creation. This freedom of tools allows you to create a scene exactly as you like it to look, and doesn't limit you to a particular medium and style.

That's what I like in this picture :)

With these elements I'm showing that even the whole picture is destroyed not only this world. So if I tone down these elements my approach to the subject will be completely different.

I see the point of that. But there still stays one black spot in the middle.... if it has to stay, maybe just move it a bit, so it does not interact with characters.

[Drakaran]

Originally posted by phobos
...I guess what I would like to know is how effective do you think the composition is. Do you think that if I used a different approach like the ghost figures closer to the viewer or the hills taking up less space would be more effective? What can you understand and feel when you look at the picture without reading my description? Is it any close to what I'm describing?



You might add the forepart of a "ghost" on the right side of the pic coming into the scene in the foreground (like mainly just an arm and leg and side of torso...) the folds of the ground are too severe and actually distracting. I would try softening the rolling of the ground.

on the composting, it looks like the light is actually streaking from the top right which gives a weird cross-hatching of light rays from the two directions. Is there someway you can fix the geometry of the background image? (I hope, cause I light the voxel light hitting the ghosts)

Very nice work and definitely has that poster feel *thumbs up*

[marcia]

I really like the image; it has a haunting, depressing quality to it... and it does resemble a photomanip more than 3D, which is an accomplishment in itself.

Personally, I'm not bothered by the rolling foreground. Although it's a little heavy, it does add substance to the image and provide an anchor for the more ethereal elements. I played with various other croppings (just using my hand on the screen), and couldn't find one that was stronger than what you've presented. I think the foreground belongs.

I was going to say I'm bothered by the near figure being so close to the edge of the frame, but it lends a feeling of tension that seems appropriate to your stated intention.

I'm sorry... was I supposed to say something harsh?

[Akildee]

I completely agree with putting some type of figure in the foreground. I'm not sure if you should crop him off on the right or not, but it would give the piece more of a flow with a foreground element. Right not the ground looks cool but it seems to be more of a focal point than even the ghosts. Maybe toning it down just a bit would really be a good idea. Also, you asked if the description that ou gave was coming accross in your picture. Right now I would say that you're pretty close, but they guy standing by the tree of knowledge isn't really reading at all when you compare him to the othere figures and the large beams of light.

Akil

[Drakaran]

With the volumetric lighting you have going, you might add some ground fog (VERY thin and low) or maybe just some super thin fog overall... sorta like they are coming out of it... only problem is, it would be tricky to keep them distinct enough that people will see em without prompting... You could try giving the ghosts an illumination texture to help bring em out with the fog... *shrug*

[gorgon]

what I find refreshing about this picture is that it is not your typical CG ambition, which is overly studied and has all the life beaten out of it. This piece is fresh, and it doesnt matter if there is too much space in the foreground, or there is a a spot in the middle, or whatever. If you want to know the truth, I really like the way that spot is figurative and echoes the motion of the real figures. It is a brief moment, captured in all of its arbitrary quirks and that is exactly what makes it work. Not everything needs to be broken on the rack of design.

[Drakaran]

gorgon: I'm really confused about the purpose of your last post. I feel your first post pretty clearly stated what you felt about the image. This angst about other posters' opinions or your feelings about design really help phobos.

phobos: as far as your message, there are several levels it could be read at, with the title being "Dying World", the ghosts could be seen as fleeing from the death or coming to try to stop it. From the angle they are running, that's not entirely clear (doesn't necessarily need to be, just food for thought, and maybe deciding this will help you with their placement). Because of the blurly figures and soft lighting with the strong detailing of the ground, the focus is on the ground and not the figures. If that was what you were wanting (as in the ground washing out being a precursor for the ghosts), I would do something to draw the eye to what is causing the ground to die. If your focus is the ghosts, I would blur it as well, with like the fog I was mentioning before and do something to draw the attention more to the ghosts.

Maybe this is what you were really asking to begin with? Anyway, once you solve those things, the message will be really clear.

It's a nice piece. I like it quite a bit.

[gorgon]

Drakaran: I dont know what you are confused about, I am stating that nit picking design issues is irrelevant in a piece like this because it is not a static, staged piece, rather, it is a dynamic and spontaneous piece. In effect, its wrongs become its rights...if Phobos were to line up every little detail to make it balanced, harmonious, etc....it would be BORING. I like the fact that it is in motion, a captured moment,.. and it feels this way because there is an overall COHESION in terms of design look and feel, but the elements that comprise the image are arranged CASUALLY. And just to throw another wrench in the spokes, this whole "dying world" and "tree of wisdom" theme is totally lost on me, I couldn't care less. As I stated in the first post, the piece allows the viewer to use their imagination to create their own story, and that is a powerful, powerful tool. After viewing Phobos's website I would say that he could learn a lot from this piece for that very reason. This is by far the most successful thing he has created and for all the aforementioned reasons.

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