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SciFibrow
10-27-2010, 08:56 AM
Hi guys,

Okay here goes, I've never posted in a WIP forum here before. This isn't for lack of wanting feedback but due to that pretty common belief many artists hold that a work is finished when, in fact, it isn't. :)

I have the following issues to address, and if anyone would be kind enough to respond I would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance!:

- This is a SineBat from my film concept Spinifex and I'm really interested to know people's interpretations based on what they see. I have some other options for the design, so it's not set in stone, but the impression I wanted to give designing it like this is hopefully in line with what was receieved.

- Also a couple of people have told me it didn't show up so well on their monitors so I am curious if anyone else is getting that?

- How is it tonally for people, does it look okay or does it need to be blacker in the blacks? Is the dynamic of the hilights punchy enough?

http://features.cgsociety.org/newgallerycrits/g47/370447/370447_1288168640_large.jpg

stuh505
10-28-2010, 03:16 AM
It's not so much difficult to see as confusing to understand, and since it's coming out of the darkness, gives me the impression that I'm just not seeing the whole thing at first. At first I thought the left wing was like a serpent's coil. The head is so large in comparison to the body which has almost no substance that I had to stare for a while thinking...ok, where is the body?

Maybe it's difficult to get because it doesn't make physical sense. Why does it have such a large unsupported head? How would the bones inside the wing actually cause them to move in a sinusoidal wave, and how would flapping in this fashion actually generate lift while maintaining stability?

SciFibrow
10-28-2010, 04:06 AM
It's not so much difficult to see as confusing to understand, and since it's coming out of the darkness, gives me the impression that I'm just not seeing the whole thing at first. At first I thought the left wing was like a serpent's coil. The head is so large in comparison to the body which has almost no substance that I had to stare for a while thinking...ok, where is the body?

Maybe it's difficult to get because it doesn't make physical sense. Why does it have such a large unsupported head? How would the bones inside the wing actually cause them to move in a sinusoidal wave, and how would flapping in this fashion actually generate lift while maintaining stability?

Thanks for responding stuh505. :)

What did you think of the piece as a whole, balance of detail etc? If the bat were to be fixed, would the rest fall into place? Originally the body was bigger and the head smaller and more aerodynamic, perhaps I should return to that?

As far as the lift factor goes, it's more about the sinewave fitting within the unseen rippling forces of the universe than an aerodynamic thing. Bearing that in mind, do you think that having a different kind of connection to the body might fix the logical "how does the tentacly rippling bits merge with the bone bits?" problem? The amplitude of the wings means that it's basically just an up down cycle as opposed to a side to side ripple. Perhaps there is no way that would work visually, and I should have more ripples in it like a sidewinder snake?

I really want to keep it as a sinebat, because it would look cool in motion and deliver something unique to the viewer, so I have to find a solution that still make sense to the uninitiated.

stuh505
10-28-2010, 05:00 AM
Actually, this kind of looks like a composition that was designed for an adventure game (king's quest, etc), because of the flat open space with an entrance on the LHS..and the sinebat being directed towards the central area where the player character would stand. Right now it looks like the bat is directing it's attention at nothing. It would be more interesting if you made the bat aware of the viewer's presence, or inserted a character into the open space who was looking at the bat.

In terms of colors it looks a bit flat. There are exactly four colors in this...gray on the bat, maroon walls, green paint, and yellow floor. When you do shading try using a different hue for highlights. Let the diffuse lighting bring interesting colors into the shadowed areas. Avoid perfectly sharp edges as they look fake. Using finely detailed crunchy brushes almost takes away detail because it makes you notice especially where it's not. Blurring areas out or giving less detail can give the impression of more detail. I hope you don't mind but I had some fun playing around with this trying to bring out some more interesting colors,

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/65/colorsd.gif

SciFibrow
10-28-2010, 11:17 PM
Thanks Stuh505, great! That's EXACTLY the kind of feedback I was looking for, much appreciated. :)

I'll have a bash at this on the weekend and see what I can come up with.

PaulAbrams
11-05-2010, 11:53 PM
SciFiBrow- Aside from adding color, stuh505 placed the focus more on the bat creature. The problem I saw with the piece was the door area on the left was more dominant than the creature, and stealing the focal point. stuh505 toned down the door area and allowed the brightest lights to fall on the wings.

SciFibrow
11-07-2010, 10:15 PM
Thanks Paul, will do.

Have been re-working the Sinebat to match my original vision (this version was a bit rushed).

Can't wait to show it! :)

SciFibrow
11-21-2010, 01:07 PM
http://features.cgsociety.org/newgallerycrits/g47/370447/370447_1290348251_large.jpg

This is the post feedback version of the SineBat. I've gone to town doing lots of different heads and in the end drastically changed the body proportions to be slightly more manta ray and a lot less head with wings (evil cherub?). This is more in keeping with my original vision of a wild and powerful interdimensional creature, so I'm really glad having feedback pushed me to strive for more :) . I put more thought into the twisting dynamic adding a more believable structure to the body (in a floaty magic creature kind of a way).

Extra additions are surface texture and more colour variations.

SciFibrow
11-23-2010, 12:56 AM
Are there any other tweaks I need to do to finish this piece?

Specifically the tonal range, colours and levels of detail?

abbeytermeer
11-23-2010, 10:58 PM
its hard to pinpoint, but my feedback is the background is not convincing. the mecha bat/snake thing you've got is so well rendered with detail, specularity, and color... yet your background seems ignored...

i can see your brushes that you used to grunge it up. i can't tell what the ground is. i don't know whether it is dirt or a tan metal floor? concrete perhaps? im confused because of the plant that is growing there... but the surface seems so smooth.

from what i know about the device in the background it is a smooth metal surface that is dirty. the ground looks the same way.... like you painted it the same with different colors.

what is the purpose of this piece? what is going on? i see this snake like creature in this underground manhole? i need story elements!

this piece has SO MUCH POTENTIAL. don't let it stray by leaving these details so unfinished :)

Wiro
11-24-2010, 12:45 AM
The rendering of the creature looks much more interesting now but the entire picture looks unbalanced. Not only is there a huge open area to the left but it's emphasized with a large spotlight. What is the purpose of it?
The hallway or to the left also lends contrast to and frames the red wall and door which compete with the creature. If you didn't have that sharp diagonal shadow on the left but instead let the left softly go into darkness you'd have much less contrast and distraction.

Could you also move the spotlight more towards the right? I just can't see a purpose for it leading the eye away from the creature and towards empty ground.

Wiro

SciFibrow
11-24-2010, 08:08 AM
Those are some good suggestions from both of you. :) Thanks!

stuh505
11-26-2010, 05:22 AM
I agree with all the comments of Auria and Wiro...and the new bat rendition is very very cool.

SciFibrow
11-30-2010, 08:31 AM
Thanks stuh505! :)

This is the latest version. I've focussed a lot on the details in an attempt to address as many of the issues raised as possible while maintaining the intent behind the piece.

http://features.cgsociety.org/newgallerycrits/g47/370447/370447_1291626457_large.jpg

I've decided to submit it to the 2D gallery as a final, thanks again everyone!

cheers!

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