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IvanPA
10-02-2003, 11:45 PM
Criticizing the image please, is the first image that I raise to this forum. :rolleyes:


http://www.ivanperezayala.com/images/Celda01.jpg

gmasnica
10-03-2003, 12:10 AM
WOW,

job well done in my book. :thumbsup:

Windmill
10-03-2003, 12:17 AM
I agree.. nice work dude

Jedi_Sav
10-03-2003, 12:33 AM
I feel Dirty just looking at it.

That is one nasty stain on the mattress

barto9
10-03-2003, 12:36 AM
lol, nice pee stain. i like it. doesnt look like the toilet is flushable :buttrock:

Andi
10-03-2003, 01:08 AM
Well done. :)

I don't wanna lie on these beds.

e338
10-03-2003, 01:38 AM
you mix this one with the bedroom (http://www.cgtalk.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92137)

thread and it becomes bearable.:p

tdmack
10-03-2003, 01:42 AM
very very nice job. The lighting is brilliant.

One thing i think though is the ground texture should maybe a little worn smoother like it has been walked on for years.

The texture work is excellent though great job of dirting things up.

igorstshirts
10-03-2003, 01:45 AM
Real nice textures... I like the little bit of light shining through the bars, a little hope. I wish My toilet was that clean!:scream:

Plays_4_Pants
10-03-2003, 02:39 AM
I like the textures on the walls, they add interest to something that originally would be stale and boring...the only thing i see off is the light coming from the window...it's so strong it's like a laser and the light doesn't radiate off the floor and onto other things.:p

CGTalk Moderation
10-03-2003, 10:25 AM
Thread renamed. Please adhere to the naming convention thanks.

paradisio
10-03-2003, 01:11 PM
An amzaing scene and a nasty stain. :applause:

Sqwall
10-03-2003, 01:23 PM
Nice but try using higher texture tile. The texture on the ground is looking a little stretched. The shadows that fall from the bars should be more soft. A I think that the light in the corridor should lighten a bit the floor to the door.:p

B.R.Rajeev
10-03-2003, 01:24 PM
hey IvanPA

really nice image, especially the textures are real good.

but 1 thing that is not ok is the light on the ground, if the light is sooo bright, u also need to show some rays from the source of the light, i hope u understand what iam telling,

anyways waiting for updates :D

Ac0rN
10-03-2003, 01:45 PM
Great ! ;)

Kreaction
10-03-2003, 01:48 PM
Good job !!
Texturing is very impressive !!
One crit..if i could..is the lighting, I think it's too dark...but it's just my feel...
Well done !! kep it up !:buttrock:

IvanPA
10-03-2003, 06:47 PM
I am grateful very much for the critiques, me they have been of great help, I have thought about the lighting of the scene immediately after the commentaries, I will have it in bill for the close image. I will raise to this forum my close work in order that you criticize it, me they have been of great help the critiques, once more, thank you. :thumbsup:

mariamaria
10-03-2003, 08:08 PM
Good job Ivan!
I like the lighting and texturing a lot.
Maybe textures of floor and walls are too similar. I'll try to distinguish between just a little with some floor tiles or different roughness....but anyway I think it's a cool scene

I would like to see a second frame with the bars knocked down and a lot of light entering from the corridor :) it must let you a good freedom feeling after see that!!

mister_r
10-03-2003, 08:47 PM
smells like frontpage spirits :D

munsils
10-03-2003, 10:41 PM
nice textures :thumbsup:

bleu
10-04-2003, 12:31 AM
Very good pict! Texture are very well detailed and accurate.

But if you want critique, then critique you I will!

There should be a rat between the toilet and the left bed.

I don't know where the bright light spot come from, but for it to be that bright it can only come from outside, my guess would be from a window on the right side, well if it really come from there, there should be a major blue rebound on the opposite wall. Also I would be expecting such a place to have high level of dust in mid air. So maybe adding a volumic for that outside spot would enhance the feeling. It's worth trying.

Most of the shadow sould'nt be that dark, for example behind the toilet, only the part whose behind sould be dark, the side part of the shadow should receive enough bounce light to have at least a little detail.

And don't forget the rat.

Bye! Gotta go work on my first avatar!

Salaadin
10-04-2003, 02:12 AM
great texturing ,,,but your reminding me when i went to ...... :(

great work ..keep it up:thumbsup:

IvanPA
10-04-2003, 03:54 AM
I have done a few changes in the cell. The critiques have served me to change and to improve to my taste a few aspects of the scene, thanks. I hope that you continue criticizing the cell, thank you very much. :wavey:


http://www.ivanperezayala.com/images/CeldaFinal.jpg

munsils
10-04-2003, 11:01 AM
Looks even better, but that thing doesn't looks like a rat...

thom:f
10-04-2003, 05:09 PM
what rat?

excellent tho, except i think i prefere the contrast of the strong lighting in the first one. There's always someone who has to disagre eh. I guess that's just preference.

excellent :)

Adainiel
10-04-2003, 08:36 PM
Great texturing job. It gave me the creeps as soon as i viewed the image. One thing you might want to play around with though, is the shadows casted by the bars. Right now it's very sharp and un natural. Try reducing the intensity or even placing secondary light in the scene to soften the shadows.

I like the new tile texture on the floor in the second render as well, it helps seperate the walls from the floor in the image. Great job once again = )



M.

JRGauthier
10-05-2003, 02:39 PM
Great man!

Good textures skills you show there!

Like Adainiel said, the shadow should be softer. And I do agree with thom:f, I prefer the light on the floor before, with more contrast. Maybe try to find a in-between with your first image?
Suggestion, Have you tryed to make this light on the floor bigger or more streched like 2 or 3 times the size it is right now? I think it would be worth to try it. Finally, there's a light in the corridor, how come it doesn't cast a shadow?

Keep up the good work man!:thumbsup:

mage111
10-05-2003, 02:46 PM
just a little question, could a bump map be applied to the matresses, they seem awfully flat even with those 'buttons' supposed to be on there, i think they need to be pushed in, if a bump map, cant do that, i dont know what to suggest other then modeling them in

GJ on the revision of this, its really helped.

btw - may want to give seperation of the body and the head of the rat, and maybe ears.

errr, and one other suggestion, the wood shelfs seem quite new with the perfect edges ;/

errr and another? if you made a bump map on the peeled off cement/paint from the wall, it seems like too much, as a personal preference anyways, half that shadow would look better to me. again, just a preference.

otherwise its believable to me

sorry if i've been rude in anyway, i didnt mean to come off as that, its a really nice piece, i like it alot

Sceme
10-05-2003, 04:38 PM
whoaaa really nice texturing. I like the first version better :P

NeBuLa
10-05-2003, 04:47 PM
very nice renders you got there :)

bleu
10-05-2003, 06:50 PM
hahahahahah!

Nice wooden rat, look like the poor guy who live there had some time to kill.:p

Nice improvement on the texture, mostly the mastress and the floor.

Effectively now the spot light look more like it come from the corridor then an hiding windows. BUT, a light bulb have weak light, so it would carve and get diffuse around the bar and hit the floor much more soft. (shadow map should do good).

Yet the shadow are still inacurate, think of that bright light who it the floor, it would bounce under the bed (on metal part even with rust) with strength enough to bounce back at the floor lighting just a litlle bit the side of the under bed who is currently veerrry dark. The more you go deep under the bed near the wall, the less light, since there is no light to rebound.

Keep it up! :applause:

IvanPA
10-06-2003, 12:33 AM
Thank you for the critiques, I have done another image with some changes, me they have been of great help the critiques, thanks. I hope that you like the finished cell. :beer:


http://www.ivanperezayala.com/images/CeldaFinal2.jpg

IvanPA
10-06-2003, 05:20 PM
Someone knows where I can obtain a complete tutorial of Vray or of Brazil? Thank you :love:

Garbaman83
10-06-2003, 06:18 PM
The texturing makes this image stand out. Nicely done :thumbsup:

bleu
10-06-2003, 11:21 PM
Yeah!!! I really do (like it).

No more crit from me!

And congratulation on your amazing texturing job!:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

otacon
10-07-2003, 12:16 AM
Nice texturing and environment, but you really should not have added the posters on the wall...it takes away from the image.:hmm:

Gremlin
10-07-2003, 02:08 AM
I think it's really close to brilliant, but I suggest:
1) yah, ditch the posters....
2) set up the contrast so that the shadows are really dark
3) but the light from the door is a little brighter (but not as bright as it was at first)

the lighting in the room seems a bit too bright.... i'd also suggest darkening up the room, in addition to just the shadows, thus the bright light coming thru the cell door would seem more appropriate.

and if you did that, it'd give a more dramatic grunge feeling to the picture, and I think it'd be superb if you acomplished those things effectively.
Cheers,
:beer:

Drakaran
10-07-2003, 06:59 AM
Originally posted by IvanPA
Thank you for the critiques...

You could try shortening the fall-off on the light in the hall, the shadow is way too distinct, should be so faint you can hardly see it at all, also, it looks like from the shadows like the light might be right above the ground because of the shadows....

Shouldn't this be in WIP?

Textures are great. bumping the size helped a lot. might try adding a little spec and reflect mapping on the wall and around the toilet. *grin* would help make the area around it a bit more slimy, but I'm not sure how nasty ya are trying to make it look.

Really fine work!

Drakaran

sixthe45
10-07-2003, 08:44 AM
Texturing is real good. :wip: Light falling on the bed is just brilliant.
Good work.

MunCHeR
10-07-2003, 09:14 AM
Man that texturing is awesome, hope my 1st post is of this clibre, scene has a difinite mood :thumbsup: that matress stain is obviously from a ketchup and mustard hotdog(is it for sale?) heh. Glad you changed the wall/floor texture, just a suggestion, maybe some scratches on the wall, like 99 bottles of :beer: on the wall....blah blah and maybe some water stains coming from the ceiling, just my 2 cets worth. BTW Brazil comes with really good tutorials dont know about vray.
Luck no one took a dump on the floor:eek:

Cheers MunCHeR

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