Short Short(20 Sec) for school

[CGmonkey]

Hmm.. This is going to be hard and since you posted it in the Focused Ciritiques area you want feedback on what you did wrong yes? :)

Well for a start I can't really figure it out 100% The movie raises some questions. For instance, I can't really figure out why he takes off into air after he lands. Is it a delayed bounce like.. "uh-oh" thing?

I couldn't really figure out the events after the butterfly drops him either untill after the fifth time watching the short.

And when he's about to crash into the ground I think you should do a "bouncy" effect in the air when the fly gets the air under his wings. I think it would be a greater impression if you would try to expirment with fade in/ fade out, anticipation and that other stuff.

But there's a couple of things I do like.. Like the objects being cubes and all! ;) And the small wiggling tentacles or sprouts he got. But I think you can do a better shot if you were given freer hands and more time! :)

[PlebianX]

Yes, free hands would have fixed most of that. And better planning... What happens at the bottom of the hole is that his antennae crumple... I think I need a better camera angle to show that, but the current one hides the fact that I didn't rig the anntennae at all and they just shove into the ground... ;0) Since they're elastic they uncrumple, and it's this force that throws him upwards, I guess it needs a sound effect. The end is also wierd because we could only have 20 seconds, he remembers he can fly essentially. Then he was supposed to run across a second hole with the wings up so it looks like he's walking on air.... Bad camera set up and the fact that I only had 3 seconds left sort of killed that entirely...
Any other comments peoples? ;0)

[Kieguy]

Now that was FUUUNNY!!!!

I think a good part of that for me was BECAUSE it was so short and rushed. The timing is like staccato bursts that get cut off a fraction of a second too soon...something about that is just too funny. Kinda like a quickly-edited amateur home movie made in CG-cube-land. Not to mention the voices...funny as well.

Don't get me wrong...I'd also like to see the version you could do with more time (both of the short and time making it). It might help clarify what's going on when he suddenly zips up to the butterfly and when he suddenly appears on the ground again. You are left with a lot of "what the heck just happened?" as cgmonkey mentioned too. ;)

It just seems to have this really neat retro-80's early CG vibe to it though that I like. Kinda like 'Andre and Wally B.' and the 'Money for Nothing' music video...

[gaggle]

Oh he has wings! I thought it was a bullettime moment until it cut to The End.

A 20 seconds limit doesn't mean the action has to this hard to understand, maybe this idea could've been saved for when you get to the minute-long challenges?

I think specifically if we need to understand he remembers that he can fly, we need to follow him falling, and seeing his eyes in shock and terror, then suddenly realising something, looking over his shoulder, and then unfolding his wings. Or something to that effect.
Always drive home what you're trying to tell or any story will end up being largely unintelligible.

I think the voices works really well, he's a pretty likeable little klutz. Reminds me a bit of.. what was his name, Scratch?, the little rodent from Ice Age. Mostly because of the voice and his incessant falling I suppose.

Oh and finally, if the rig is giving you grief you rework the rig. Four hours spent tidying things up saves you tens of hours later on battling a poor setup. Never fear reworking if it's not working.

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