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FabioMSilva
05-27-2010, 10:01 PM
Greetings everyone.
I'm relatively new to hard surface modeling and there are many things that perhaps i'm missing while i'm at it.
This is a weapon i'm making for a new demoreel(i'm also working on it's owner), and It's an original design that i made based on real world weapons with also some fiction weapons. It's suposed to be an Hi-tech weapon from a futuristic world, but still having some real world foundation behind it.

Overall , I wanted to create the most detailed piece possible, and that had good topology before u'ving and texturing it.

Perhaps you guys can help me bringing it to the next level. Looking forward to your critics & Suggestions.

http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/3046/henriettarender.jpg (http://img710.imageshack.us/i/henriettarender.jpg/)

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http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/3005/wirestagg.jpg (http://img690.imageshack.us/i/wirestagg.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)


kindest

Fábio

Kreoth
05-28-2010, 02:20 PM
You're doing well. keep it up.

Maybe some lines could be more spread apart to make the edges more straight, and in some situations it's best to finnish the edge loops.

Best regards.

Kanga
05-28-2010, 10:40 PM
For a really detailed piece it is kind of hard to see what is going on. Maybe some bigger pics. The design itself looks pretty good although I am seeing some lumpiness here and there.

Assassin0323
05-29-2010, 05:17 AM
This is an amazing model, at first glance it looks amazing. When I was looking at your line work I found a few issues with your edgeflow. See the picture for more info, if you could post some more pictures closer up with your edges displayed I can point out the other things. Only a few little fixes to the edgeflow of your model and it looks good to me.

stuh505
05-29-2010, 08:45 PM
Looks like you were inspired by the FN 2000 and OICW...

OICW: http://world.guns.ru/assault/as40-e.htm
FN F2000: http://www.armyrecognition.com/europe/France/Exhibition/Milipol_2003/F2000_FN_Herstal_France_Milipol_2003_01.jpg

Front part looks inspired by Ghost in the shell:
http://files.myopera.com/gs2501/blog/GhostInTheShell_Gun.jpeg
http://www.airsoftpost.com/images/large/AEG_STAR_Posidon_lg.jpg


Anyway, onto my criticisms. Modeling is good but gun doesn't make any logical sense as a gun.

1) You have rear iron sights but they are way too fat, and there is no matching front sight, and even if there was a matching front sight, it would be blocked by the large contraption in the middle. It would only be acceptable to have iron sights which are blocked if the large contraption in the middle is modular but I don't see any attachments to take it off.

2) The large contraption in the middle could really only be some kind of built in scope. Judging by the do-it-all nature of this weapon I'm expecting it to be more like a combination scope like what is on the OICW...with probably some kind if built in HUD, laser rangefinder, etc. However, you need to put a glass opening on the front side instead of heat vents for this to make any sense.

3) So the purpose of a bullpup design (ie, putting the magazine behind the trigger) is because it allows you to have a longer inner barrel without increasing the overall length of the gun from a shouldered position. The reason for wanting a longer inner barrel is to get better mid-range accuracy, and for a gun of this size, one would expect a 5.56x45mm up to 6.8x43mm (which in reality would be a superior choice, ballistically). So, it's obvious that the muzzle for this primary magazine fed ammunition is the lower of the 3 holes on the front, although this doesn't line up at all with where the chamber would be positioned on this gun. The chamber would have to be right above where the magazine ends, which puts it on that long horizontal middle strip of the gun...which means the barrel should be just a tad higher than the 2nd hole on the front of the current model.

4) About those holes: I'm not sure what they are all...but there are not many utilitarian options. You should move the primary barrel (thats the small one) to align with the barrel of the gun (that means putting it in the middle). The grenade launcher needs to go on the bottom so that grenades can be loaded in by sliding open a hatch under the foregrip. The third hole can be put on the top and used as a tactical light if you wish. Basically I'm just asking you to make definite choices about what these holes are which make sense.

5) The 2 buttons on the left side of the foregrip look difficult to access...too far to be reached without moving the hand which grips the front of the gun. If there are two buttons, I'm assuming one is for tactical light the other is for a laser, but I see no laser.

6) The grenade launcher needs a trigger.

7) The firing selector is very inconveniantly placed at the moment: the operator would need to balance this extremely heavy gun in his right hand, then move his left hand all the way back to BEHIND his right hand, just in order to switch from safe/semi/auto....doesn't make much sense, does it? Normally the firing selector is placed so that the thumb of the right hand can easily switch mode without taking the finger off the trigger. This means essentially that you should move the firing selector over to that flat area just behind the trigger.

8) The rear grip around the trigger area looks very fat and blocky. This should be more ergonomically sculpted to the shape of the hand. You'll see that even guns like the FN P90 and F2000 are quite ergonomic in this regard.

xtrm3d
06-01-2010, 09:47 PM
i agree with the above posted comment ,
and woudl suggest to watch for some minore pinching issues
i am looking forward to the low res and first texture pass

this is a portfolio piece for sure !!

FabioMSilva
06-17-2010, 12:48 AM
hi again people, thanks all for the c&C

ive been working a bit more on the submachine gun, fixed a bit of the topology but i confess a bit of it is still "not evened"(i wouldnt say messy but...)

here's the texturing on bodypaint 3d renderer..kinda sux to be honest...

i wonder if it will look better when i bring it to max or maya..surely hope so.
right now the texture is a bit "generic" since its mirrored on both sides. ill have to make sure the other side doesnt look equal and perhaps add something to the back part of the gun the soldier would have but personal in it.(i had an anime girl! but every single of my friend who saw it complained about it ;) )

feel free to c&C on the texture wip

many thanks!

http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/7858/henriettatexturedwip.jpg

FabioMSilva
06-21-2010, 01:22 AM
update

here's an actual render from max. no fancy lighting. just 2 lights and some hdr. materials havent been that tweaked yet. just looking at it and seeing how textures look. no bump or spec maps yet. and yeah, there's a lot of stretching errorsfrom the new projection that i still have to fix(bodypaint and photoshop are getting really slow tho, its really frustrating to work on this)

[/url][url="http://img691.imageshack.us/i/gunnywip.jpg/"]http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7454/gunnywip.jpg (http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7454/gunnywip.jpg)

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mister3d
06-21-2010, 03:36 AM
This is insane! The quality is amazing. The topology is not good - you should try to stick with quads.

FabioMSilva
06-22-2010, 12:59 AM
Thanks!

here's the last render. I think it's pretty much done, but any c&C is welcome

tomorrow i'll see if i can continue the soldier who's carrying this thing :)


http://www.fabiomsilva.com/employers/Henrietta/persp_color_comp.jpg

mister3d
06-22-2010, 09:02 AM
I think your paint is too reflective, which makes it look more like a mold on a clean metal. So either reduce reflectivity of paint, or make it not so green.

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