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lightcache
05-10-2010, 07:54 PM
hi chaps


nice to see this section open!. im looking for some help crits and what ever! with this peice.
im currently an unemployed matchmover, so in my spare time ive been working on my pshop skills as i now have the time. ive been having a go at some concepting in photoshop.
its kind of a futurist peice but perhaps more utopain than dystopian.
any crits would be appreciated.

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/concept7.jpg


http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/concept5.jpg

Airflow
05-10-2010, 11:03 PM
Do some perspective exercises.
The image also needs tonal balance. Your darks are too dark. There would be bounce light coing in from the grass and sky.

Shenan
05-11-2010, 12:29 AM
To expand on something that Robert said, the perspective is a little problematic in that all the structures are portrayed with a flat sideways perspective. It kills the feeling of depth, making the structures seem more like cutouts or facades. On the first shot this doesn't look too bad and appears intentional, but it's much more noticeable and looks less intentional on the second shot with the two additional structures. The structure in the foreground seems to be contributing the most to these issues.

Other than that, the only thing I would add that stuck out for me is how bright and untextured the river looks. Almost looks more like a tube of light than a river the way it is now, but it should be a fairly easy fix by darkening and texturing it.

Take care!

stuh505
05-11-2010, 02:27 AM
The composition of the smaller crop is much nicer than the full image. I would just leave out those two structures on the right and keep working from the cropped version.

Secondly, the grass color seems to have the wrong hue and have too much saturation.

Most importantly, you need more SCALE QUEUES to convey the size of things. This is why it would look better to use a rainforest instead of rolling hills below it I think. Also add some birds in the sky, and put some clouds in too.

Here's a quick shop-example of what I'm talking about,

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/4613/morelush.jpg

Oh, and one more thing -- look familiar? :P

http://www.destination360.com/south-america/peru/images/s/amazon.jpg

KMcNamara
05-11-2010, 04:38 AM
haha, stuh, I think you found his reference photo!

I love the concept but I agree about the perspective. It especially bothers me with the river - it should either be much wider closer to the camera, or fade to a much narrower line in the distance.

veanova
05-11-2010, 06:53 AM
Hmm.. a massive structure like that hovering over a forest would severely limit the amount of sunlight that could reach the forest below. I'd either change the structure to allow sunlight to pass through (the fact that the "belly" is angled inward is a good start), or change the nature of the forest directly below it, especially if you turn it into more of a rain forest type of environment like stuh505 suggested (which I think you should).

Or you could just say that hey, this is the future, they've dealt with this in some other way :)

It also seems a little strange that the building is so "dead". It's a city in the forest, so why isn't more stuff growing on it? Also, these people would probably need to grow their own food, so it would make sense to see maybe plantations of some sort in the structure itself. Of course, features like that would probably be placed on top of the structure, and you can't really see that at the moment.

Other than that, I like the idea. The idea that a massive structure can "tread lightly" like that is very nice. I'm sorry I can't give you more on technique and composition, I'm still learning myself! Good luck!

lightcache
05-11-2010, 07:53 AM
doh stuh ive been foundout! ;)

thanks for the crits your right about what you said. and i think rainforest is the way to go, it looks pretty cool

and also with plantations, and such like.

also thanks for all other responses i shall noodle it some more today :)

it's good too see this section back again.

ta!

lightcache
05-12-2010, 06:33 PM
thanks for the crits guys. heres an update going on your observations.

shame i cant post bigger images but hey ho.

what do you think about the clearing near the right side of the construction?

anyway thanks for any replies :)


http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/d4-2.jpg

lightcache
05-13-2010, 08:44 PM
ok ive made a few more alterations.

ive been staring at this for an hour now, so i may be blinded,ive worked a bit on the unerside. any crits appreciated. :)



http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/d4-3.jpg

lightcache
05-13-2010, 08:46 PM
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/d5.jpg

lightcache
05-15-2010, 02:35 PM
a few more iterations. any crits greatly appreciated :)


http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/concept7-2.jpg

lightcache
05-16-2010, 12:17 PM
messed up the structure a bit. it was looking too clean perhaps.

any crits appreciated


http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/concept7-3.jpg

lightcache
05-16-2010, 10:28 PM
decided to make it even more delapidated.

any crits appreciated.


http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/concept7-4.jpg

stuh505
05-18-2010, 10:16 PM
You need more discernible details in the jungle. You can't get away with just spattering up a bunch of leafy colors and thinking that we won't notice! Try to break it down into individual trees because at the moment it just looks like very mottled grass. I think a perfect reference for this would be the jungle flyby over Pandora in the opening credits of Avatar.

lightcache
05-18-2010, 11:16 PM
thanks for the crots mate.
im finding the forest a bit of aball ache to do hmpfh.
ive roughed out something with some custom photoshop brushes, as yiure right about the trees. though i think ide be better off trying to find a nice hi res photo i can whack in.
i shouldve gont for desert instead! :D

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/c8-2.jpg

veanova
05-19-2010, 03:49 PM
I like what you've done to the structure, it looks much better now imo. Maybe the next step would be to add some "life" to it? It looks a little abandoned now, especially after you broke it up and made it look more worn down.

I absolutely agree about the forest. Touch it up a little, make more detailed and more varied. Most woodland is a mix of different tree types (https://wiki.bc.net/atl-conf/download/attachments/24514780/forest_small.jpg), unless you're going for a siberian taiga type of look.

:)

Airflow
05-19-2010, 03:59 PM
You still have not broached the perspective problem. No amount of changes will fix the lack of proper perspective.
Also quit using tree shaped brushes and cloning. It makes the art seem more like clipart than concept art. paint in the details.

lightcache
05-19-2010, 11:05 PM
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/c8-3.jpg



http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/perp-1.jpg



thanks for the tips.

and yes the prespective does drift on the right side. will fix.
thanks for the crits.

stuh505
05-22-2010, 04:49 AM
There is a problem with the scale of the trees. They need to be very small near the structure and then gradually get up to about the size you have them in the foreground, imo. This isn't something you can do by copy pasting, it won't look right unless you draw by hand.

Second, the perspective lines you draw just don't make any sense. For starts you have two vanishing points that, when connected, give you a horizon line that isn't parallel. However, this is not actually a problem with your drawing, its just because the perspective lines you draw don't match up with the drawing at all. One can see that the perspective lines you drew do not actually match up with any lines in the structure at all.

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/630/persp.jpg

Airflow
05-22-2010, 01:43 PM
Harsh crit warning.
Start Over.

Draw out your perspective grid. Block out your buildings and scenery, work out your light sources, then start laying down your values of shade. When this all looks ok, you can start to begin with colour and detail passes.

You can try to take short-cuts by cutting and pasting pictures and wasting time trying to re-jig your work but its flaws will always be there for all to see.

lightcache
05-26-2010, 06:52 PM
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/lightcache/greenfuture.jpg



ok im in the process of re doing the background. perspective looks alot better perhaps?

ill redo the structure aswell.

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