Character - Succubus

[hercanic]

Dear ComatoseWolf:
I'm sorry, but your picture doesn't show up unless you copy the link, go to the site first, then enter in the pic's address. Anything else gives you a "Hosted By" image like Tripod or Anglefire. Since I did this, though, I was able to see your pic, and can give you some crits. You may want to just upload the picture onto the forum.

Lower half of the model looks pretty good, but the head needs work. The face is, unfortunately, very masculine. The brow is too large for a woman, and lower cheekbones, narrower nose, and sharper chin and jawline would benefit its feminine nature. The nostrils, too, are much too flared. The ear almost looks like it's going to fall off, and the breasts jut out rather than roll over the chest's skin. The nipples seem off as well; from the clavicle straight down, the nipples should be placed at a 45 degree angle from that imaginary line. The last thing is the waist, which sucks in at a disturbingly anorexic angle, as if she were missing any sort of external oblique muscles or wearing an invisible corset.

Other than all that, the boots and belts look good, and I like the half-skirt you've got on her, as well as the decorative hip-dress.

For hair, beware of shag, as she might end up looking more furry than anything. Textured geometry might give you a better result, depending on your intent for this piece.

[ComatoseWolf]

- Thank you Hercanic, most of the time when I post up I don't get a whole lot of feedback, and most of the stuff I do get doesn't help me fix my models. I really appriciate you taking the time to point out what you did.

Ok, so here is a reworked version. The face looks a bit different, I moved the nipples around, and fattened her up some. Also if the link below doesn't work for whatever reason (have no idea why it does that) i'm loading up a smaller version you can check out.

And if something looks off on this one, feel free to tell me.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Torso.jpg

-Wurzbach

[ComatoseWolf]

And here is a shot of her lower body that is already textured up. Let me know what y'all think.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Pants.jpg

-Wurzbach

[Scottosh]

Nice lower body,cool modeling.The wings are totally off,at least to me.Not big enough,and look kind of sloppy modeling wise.:beer:

[ComatoseWolf]

Well I went and redid the wings. They were pretty sloppy, and I didn't think they fit to well either, however I made them smaller. I don't really want the wings to be functional so that she can fly, but more of a decoration. She could probably use them to glide a ways, or to soften a fall, but what I was thinking was that she might use them like an old strip tease artist might use a pair of fans when fan dancing. Anyway that was my reason for making them smaller, let me know what you think.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Revis.jpg

-Wurzbach

[ComatoseWolf]

Well finished up the textures for the upper torso. All that really needs to get done now are the wings and some odds'n ends (eyes teeth and the like). Also need to redo the texture on her upper arm braces, think i'll make them more like her neck piece. Anyway, if you have and comments let me know.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-TorsoTex.jpg

[wgreenlee1]

http://www.psg1.com/images/p-tummy.jpg

I like the style of your modeling but I think the stomach needs a little softening.
Maybe just a little softer form or something.

Good work though,Ive been watching this progress.:thumbsup:

Au revoir!

[ComatoseWolf]

-wgreenlee1 Thanks, in this update I didn't get around to reworking her belly, but I've been getting annoyed with her chest (think it might need some ornamentation, kinda to plain now) when I remodel that I'll tweak her gut some, thanks again for the advice.

Ok textured up the wings some, not sure if i'll leave it with the blackish blue or go with a brown hue to it, seems a little to dark to me. Going to move on to the hair next, not really looking forword to it, but oh well. Anyhow feel free to drop any crits or what have you.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Wings.jpg

-Wurzbach

[ComatoseWolf]

Well here is a new update. Messed around with shag hair and finally came up with something that I liked. Also added bra of sorts, and messed around with the colors some. Haven't molded her breasts to fit the bra yet, don't think i'll keep it but anyway if anyone has anything to say, please do.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Hair.jpg

- Wurzabacca

[hercanic]

Dear ComatoseWolf:
I'm really liking the new wing design and texture. Looks very Jurassic Park with its texture. The breasts are still unnatural looking though, and I hate to say it, but the face is scary, almost cross-dresser masculine. Being a Succubus, I would assume you'd want something...seductive, correct? First off, her chin strikes me as too wide. A general rule of thumb is if you follow with an imaginary line the diagnal of the furrow above the lips, they will determine the width of the chin. Take a look at model's faces on the internet to help get an idea of attractive female features. As for the new bra, it's an interesting beginning, though doesn't look all that comfortable or supportive. Also, just like with the stomach, it seems that the change from chest to underarm is too harsh with those sudden and large hard shadows.

[kiko3d]

Yes, he is right about the face I would got to bed with her, and I´m sure you can work on the wings a little bit I don´t know what it is but there´s definitely something wrong with them.

The rest seems to be just fine except of the nipples in which you could add more dots.

[ComatoseWolf]

hercanic - hey thanks for dropping by again, yeah her breast are still giving me a problem. I lowered them some from what they were originally and although I like them better, I think something is still not right. Took your advice on the where the arm and the chest meet and tweeked the area, Also reworked her face a bit more. Its more slender now in the chin area.

kiko3d - Thanks for posting, never would have thought to add dots to the nipples, I'll give that a try. However on the wings, so far I've had nothing but positive feedback on the new design, maybe if you could be a bit more specific about what you think is wrong.

Here is her face slimmed down, she also has some other modifications. I'm going to be posting up a wire of her head as well, just incase that might give some ideas on things to fix up. Thanks again.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Front-Render.jpg

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-Head-Wire.jpg

-Wurzabacca

[ComatoseWolf]

OK finished up the rig, also moved the wings into what i'm going to make thier resting position. The idea around them is that I wanted them to look like a cloak, or a cowboy's poncho (Didn't like the idea of them just hanging in the back)

Decided I'm going to stick with the grayish "I just died" color for her skin, I think it makes her look more removed from reality.

Also have been thinking of a weapon I might give her, a rapier poped into my head right away, but now i'm toying with the idea of a steampunkish type revolver strapped to her exposed leg might be kinda cool.

http://www.redrival.com/comatosewolf/Succubus-RigDone.jpg

-Wurzbach

[ComatoseWolf]

Well it's been more than a while since i last posted on this thread and thought i would just give a final update.

Went ahead and equiped he with a LeMat revolver which saw some use during the cival war. It's a nine shot gun that fires a 44 slug, but it has another barrel that fires a single 63 shotgun round.

Also added on a poncho, somewhat similar to Clint Eastwood's in the Sergio Leone movies he starred in.

Making a background for her set in a desolate cowboy town, the thread is in the focused critiques section, like i said my work on her is done, unless someone has something else to say one way or the other about her. I'd like to thank those of you who did comment on her, you helped me out alot, thanks.

http://www.jwurzbach.com/ModelRenders/SuccubusGunslinger2.jpg

- Wurzbach

[Amir]

First of all, nice modelling. I like the direction you chose to take with the wings (as an optional clothing accesory). I do think that she should be more sexy, after all the succubus is a seductive creature, her breasts are kind of flat and her lips should be fuller (at least I think so).

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