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tongplai
08-30-2003, 09:37 PM
Hi there
This is my animation short that I've finished for graduation at Santa Monica College. It' s about 6 minutes long.
I released some teaser of it before,and finally I think I should show it to get some feedback and advises.


http://www.tongplai.com/MOVIE/drOctopus512.avi
Divx (38mb)



http://www.tongplai.com/MOVIE/TheOctopus320_176_dvix4_500cs.avi
Divx4 (19mb)



http://www.tongplai.com/MOVIE/TheOctopus320_176_LSX_450cs.mpg

Mpeg(38mb)


http://www.tongplai.com/images/Ocimages/00776_b.jpg

jessy
08-31-2003, 08:11 AM
woww !!!!!This is really nice short. The background and water effect look awesome! A lot of natural scene that hardly see in computer animation today,and it seem a lot of work for one people. Only thing is the animation is look a little stiff, you could make it better,also a lot of symbol in the middle doesn't seem understandable for me. Anyway it really nice piece of work. Good JOB!!!!!:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

mexus
08-31-2003, 09:02 AM
um.. no it's not..


It's just not nice. I didn't like it.
Sorry Tongplai.. I don't have any comments for your animation and overall storytelling.

mexus
08-31-2003, 09:04 AM
Here is some inspiration:


http://www.antropus.com << great guy
http://www.benhindle.com << great guy

FLOw
08-31-2003, 11:51 AM
to be honest..the animations sort of sucked..its like you used some kind of Motionmixer (lightwave term..) and animated a short clip and then looped it a few times..and it really shows, and really kills the whole feeling in the animation. the characters and scenery have sooo much bigger potential..if you would work on the animations..

the story was kind of slow I think, I thought you were going to do something with the house, like maybe the dude lived there and came out to go fishing..not just as a prop

the sound was anoying, but thats ok I guess...this is not a sound forum :)

but like I said, the characters are both very nice but they could do so much more than that..

tongplai
08-31-2003, 05:05 PM
Thank for any contructive advise. I knew the the animation wasn't good,but never know it that bad until now. Thank for your honest. I will try to improve it.:rolleyes:

Mechis
08-31-2003, 05:32 PM
Hey- well, the animation does need work-- have you seen Keith Lango's animation tutorials? http://www.keithlango.com

On the up side, I liked the modelling :) Your environments were pretty cool too

nineinchneil
08-31-2003, 07:34 PM
you seem have environments down pretty good. you could just stick to being a level designer or something. or you could pull up your sleeves and get back into this project and work on your animation, editing, timing, sound design, storytelling, and cinematography. and there's a lot of work to be done.

within the first 5 seconds you see the tree loop it's animation. i don't understand why it had to loop. you obviously didn't animate it by hand so why couldn't you have just set the dynamics engine (or whatever physics engine your 3d program has) generate the animation for more frames? as the camera scrolls down, the background trees just pop in. why? i'm not going to go through all the flaws in this movie, but it seems like you went out of your way to create flaws.

you need to go to your school library and read up on preston blair's animation book, steven ascher's 'filmmaker's handbook', ronald compesi's 'video field production and editing', and really study the basic rules that apply to each aspect of this film. you've obviously spent a lot of time on the environments and the character modeling. just spend the same amount of time on the above mentioned parts too, and you'll be fine.

tongplai
08-31-2003, 08:58 PM
umm Thank you for the comment. You guys have very good professional eyes. A lot of flaws that happen-some of them I saw it ,but I'm just so tried and think it is not that bad (eventhough it is :rolleyes: . )
My excuse would be I just learn too many things in this project. I learn how to model ,set up, dynamic, editing, compositng and do a lot of experiment to make effect work myself until I may neglect the most important thing which is animation :rolleyes:

What else I can say?? excuse is excuse
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I really appreciate your comments ,and will try to do it better.
Thank you

stinkyIKsniffer
09-01-2003, 03:19 AM
tongplai, there are some good parts in the movie.

One being the opening scene with the waterfall. That was done extremely well.

The next is the facial expressions, especially the female. (who's cute, by the way :eek: :beer: )


Not bad, overall. I'm sure your next movie will be many times better.

mehdianim
09-01-2003, 04:27 AM
it's true that overall the animation could use a rework.
but i like the models and environments a lot, the girl is hot. her clothes could use a texture though.
I really didn't like: the crowd sounds, I'd take that off.

FLOw
09-01-2003, 12:23 PM
I want to see some stills from the end of the movie..you know when they are both together on the bridge...you have some crazy closeups that would be very nice as stills...maybe zoom out alitle doh :) :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

tongplai
09-01-2003, 04:00 PM
Thank you for some compliment. Here is the still


http://www.tongplai.com/images/cgtalk/Ocfinal_9237.jpg


http://www.tongplai.com/images/cgtalk/Ocfinal_9421.jpg

FLOw
09-01-2003, 06:40 PM
yeah there u go! :D :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

stephen2002
09-02-2003, 01:59 AM
The animation/rigging and sound could use some real help. However the modeling, texturing, and lighting were pretty good.

Ac0rN
09-02-2003, 02:50 AM
well ... the story is pretty nice i think , but you really got to work on your animation , the characters are bearly moving , hmm ... overall it was pretty ok , its nice that enviorment is moving ... :thumbsup:

zazaki
09-04-2003, 04:43 AM
Umm it pretty confusing.I don't think this piece is bad at all ,eventhough the animation not so good ,but it not that bad. The environment ,texturing ,lighting ,modeling is pretty good. Also I saw amout of work in this piece,so Don't be disappoint. I like it!!

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