ANIMATED SHORT: Bird Feed

[TheGreenGiant]

hello.

quite a charming little short - can't really fault what I'm looking at although I felt like the soundscape was a little empty (eg.. when the hungry bird falls from the sky, hits the branch, bounces off the ground - I was hoping to hear some crunching sounds), I feel as if not having the sounds somehow compromises your short; eg. The final impact of that finale was missing (However if you had a loud swishing sound of the attackers and some creepy squelching sounds... it'd be better?

animation/story - my 1 major quibble is that the into took too long; hence the short feels like it doesn't take off til later. the driving of that messageboard in took ages, and then you had very little going on. I am tired. If I don't make sense... I'll repost later.

:applause:

[fattyLees]

Thanks for the crit.

Ya know I have stared at this short for so long that it is hard to see which parts I need to shorten...and you're right the intro is way too long. Thanks a lot...it helps me out tons

I need to find somebody to help me out with the sound...maybe I can find a sound design student or something?


Anyways, thanks again...

Eric

[|Obscure3D|]

I'm probably just going to echo what green giant has said: The lack of sound effects is kind of a downer. I think if this had more looney tunes-style exaggerated sounds in it, it would make it much better. Us animators don't usually have control over the sound, so that's probably not your fault. Do they have a sound design program at the Academy? If they do, maybe you could farm some talent from them.

I think with some smart editing, you could tell the same story in about half the time. Shots like the sign being hammered in, the stomach growling part, scared grandma behind her purse, and grandma reaching into her purse could have the timing worked on. Then again, that might make it too fast....hmmmmm....just my 2 cents, take it with a grain of salt.

Don't get me wrong--I think it's really good. great poses, fun design, and it's entertaining to boot. The shot when grandma is looking at the sign and the bird is trying to get her attention is classic. I think if you worked on the pacing and the sound, this one would definitely fit in at Spike and Mike's. Good luck!

[fattyLees]

Thanks for the crits...

I think you 2 are both right...I'm gonna have the sign already in the ground and cut a few of the shots you mentioned. It should shave off about another 15 seconds or more and make the intro faster paced.

I also went to my old Art school and posted a bunch of flyers for someone to do a better version of the sound effects. We'll see what happens...

I'm gonna make the editting changes and repost in a few days and see what you guys think.

Thanks for all the suggestions I really appreciate it.

-Eric

[fattyLees]

shameless Bump...

[agreenster]

Tippett eh? I know some people there. They must be downsizing now that the summer onslaught of Revolutions is nearing completion. Right?

[TheGreenGiant]

Hello FattyLEes,

just checking back in. Hope you get some help with the sound! You mentioned finalist at some show? What's happening there?

[kr3ml]

Hey , I've seen this befor on cgtalk , very impresive short , liked the characters , the music and the whole story ! NICE JOB !

But why cant I save it like .avi file? :curious:

[tongplai]

It' s really nice and cute short. The animation is really smooth.I like it!!!;)

[fattyLees]

Hey all...
To answer your question, Acorn, about why you can't save it, I have no idea why you can't. I suck at making webpages, BUT if you go to http://www.filmwatcher.com/html/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=275&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0
you can save target as from there.

It's on my "to do " list to figure it out.

and Green Giant to answer the other thing, I was a finalist at my school's spring show for best animated short. My good friend Ricardo Biriba took home first prize with his short "Run Dragon Run". I'm sure all you guys saw it here at CGTalk...it was so popular that he had to mirror his site and very quickly exceeded his bandwidth. Bastard...

over and out,
Eric

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