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peteywaz
09-12-2009, 06:43 PM
a piece based on the idea of a city wide restoration after some disaster.

compositional problems but I'm having trouble with figuring out why i dislike it.
critique most appreciated.
http://peterwaz.com/images/restoration.gif

appreciate all those who tear it to shreds. go nuts.

ZacD
09-12-2009, 07:04 PM
I'd lighten up the guys more to create more foreground/midground/background/


http://i31.tinypic.com/30rmyz8.jpg

Ideas for composition on color.

Mboehman
09-12-2009, 09:37 PM
You know, I think what you don't like about the composition is that the focal point is right in the middle. If you tried to go along more with the rule of thirds it might make you happier.
But it looks really nice so far. Hope to see it finished!

peteywaz
09-13-2009, 12:03 AM
thanks to you both, I think you both have a bit right. The guy hanging from the rope i think is what bothered me the most, but since i liked his pose the most i dismissed it. The redder color palletes actually in line with the reference images i had on the side but wanted to play with morning tones more. However i think your redder tones work much better.

Thanks again! big help!

ZacD
09-13-2009, 01:15 AM
No problem, I think moving that guy could help (lower or higher, just play with it)
I figured red/orange would work best with the blue (complementary colors), and it makes it seem a bit more dusty too

DArcy1
09-13-2009, 05:08 AM
Hi

Just a small comment, the 2 flying ?robots look rather like smudges vs actual ships, the one in the foreground interferes visually with whatever package is getting pulled up the ropes. Finally, the guy with the ballerina pose just sticks out because of the pose; it doesn't seem to fit the scene.

Hope that helps

Cheers

D'Arcy

SpiritHunter
09-13-2009, 10:26 PM
Hey Peteywaz,

I think the orange is a good idea as it is naturally occurring and complimentary to blue. I think your idea is good and will become a great painting!

I have a few suggestions about composition and storytelling. It seems the way you have it set up is that all the emphasis is placed on the guys and what they're doing, but there isn't enough context to know exactly what. The silhouette on the repelling guy is very strong, and makes him become the focus of the painting, but does he tell the story?

-My thoughts are to draw the focus away from the guys, and show more of the environment. Mboehman mentioned the rule of thirds, if you look at where the thirdlines are right now, we see mostly cables. If you scooted them a bit to the left, you will have room to do more environment as there is not much there behind them. Same with the other side, put objects or people there to fill the left third line. What you put on theose third lines (especially intersections) are heavily story related, so you have to figure out what is best and think of things like "where is this city," "what kind of city," "what happened here etc." Maybe put one of your spaceships there?

-As ZacD mentions, foreground/midground/background distinctions would be helpful, do this by using atmospheric perspective and placing objects really close to the viewpoint. You can use these objects to frame the image even.

If I wasn't making any sense, as I often don't, here's a picture of what I am talking about (I don't mean to paint over your image, it's just an example and it's really crappy)

Good luck man, I can see this turning out well.

-Davis

P.S. when someone repels, they use both their feet in unison or they lose balance.

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09-13-2009, 10:26 PM
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