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rmatlchans
08-02-2003, 10:23 AM
Hi, all.

Right Now... I'm not so sure about if i am doing right or not.
I had challenged for an animation competition here and this is it.

I have expected to listen some crits about this animation.. from viewers.. but I haven't got any. :cry: :cry:

I hope there is nothing wrong about I ask some crits here about this.

If I talk about myself, I'm such a beginer in animation..
So I must listem some advice here.

Some body near me told me that I should fix camera movement too. Then I'm sure about I have a lot more that I need to fix to make it better.

So.. would you check this animation then point as much or many as you could see..???

:) Divx (2.39 Mb) (http://october10s.com/gal/showdown_divx.avi)

Used soft : Maya 4.0

ntmonkey
08-02-2003, 10:46 AM
rmatlchans,

Good animation so far. However, I think you need to tone down the camera movements a bit. There were times when your camera cuts were a bit ill-timed and had too much angle shift to really show off your animation.

First thing that caught my eye was a big NO-NO. Your animation starts off with the big robot closest to the audience. THEN, the sequence shifts to the little robots point of view, making him closer to the audience (and the aggressor). This 180 degree camera move is BAD. And it confuses the audience as to who's point of view we're suppose to look at.

After the big robot catches the little robot's punch and tosses him, frame it so that we see the big robot in the air jumping down. It would be good to see a good "crushing" pose while he's up in the air. Also, after the big robot lands and is just about to pick him up, you shift the camera way too much again. Now the robots switch places and loses its continuity, again confusing the audience. Remember, "The audience is STOOPID"

Then when the big robots slams the little robot and he bounces off, how did the big robot get close enough to punt him? There's no continuity there, and again, you shifted the camera so that the characters switch position from one shot to another.

Try this, work on the animation and take out the camera work. I know it sounds harsh, but I'd rather see a good animation than bad camera work that takes away from a good animation.

hope it helps,

Lu

P.S. After you fix the camera, I'll come back and crit you on the animation. It'll be easier for the rest of us to really see what you have as well.

rmatlchans
08-02-2003, 11:02 AM
Thanks so much, ntmonkey!!

You have mentioned to me so much valuable words.

My one friend mentioned that he was dizzy about the camera working too. -_-;;

Okei, I got some idea from what you are saying.

After I remove the bad movments about camera, I will come back eigther~!!

Thanks a lot, ntmonkey~!!

CarmineRedrum
08-04-2003, 04:43 PM
i agree with ntmonkey 100 %. what youve done is crossed the line of action.

line of action is an imaginary line that runs down the middle of the scene. you should always keep your camera to one side of that line until something forces you to change. ive attached an image illustrating this. as long as the camera stays on one side of line...the red robot will occupy the right side of the screen, and the black with occupy the left. when the line is crossed it is very jarring for the audience...there is a perception that the subject has moved even though it hasnt.

of course this could be a stylistic choice...ang lee crossed the line quite a few times while filming the hulk. the next time you watch it pay attention to the scene in the resturant when the general meets his daughter. by crossing the line multiple times, lee enhanced the awkwardness the characters were experiencing.

but in most cases, in order to cross the line, something will be introduced into the scene. on the illustration imagine that a door opens at the bottom of the screen and a new robot runs in. this would be behind the cameras...so the camera must move. you should try to avoid jumping the line with a cut...a camera move is a lot less jarring. in the example...if the door opens at the bottom of the drawing...camera 1 could dolly across the line and around the black robot to point towards the door.

i know this maybe entirely too much information and may not help your animation. but as long as you are doing the animating AND the directing...im sure it will help you communicate your animation more clearly.

rmatlchans
08-04-2003, 11:02 PM
To CarmineRedrum

: Oh.. thanks a lot CarmineRedrum.

Yeah.. I thinks I made this.. so I couldn't see what was going on there.

Thanks for the pix. I got a good idea from your attachment.

When I made this animation at the first it was longer than this.
But as long as it was for the challenge, I had to shurink this down to 20sec langth then it coused all the dizzy camera works and so on.

I'm fixing and adding scenes that you guys pointed to me..

Coming soon~!

}-{obbes
08-05-2003, 12:19 AM
When the big robot punts the little one, the little onje flys off at somethin like a 45 degree angle, but returned falling straight down from the sky onto the big one's head. Just doesn't make sense how that could occur, so change the punt's angle.

rmatlchans
08-05-2003, 04:21 AM
To : }-{obbes

WOW... you are really sharp....

Well.. I made that honestly..-_-

couse I wanted to make him falls by back.

If I didnt touch it he would fall by stomach.. so I just did that.. -_-

If it bothers you SO MUCH, I will fix it. But if it's not that much.. I would like to keep this as it self...:drool:

18th_Devil
08-05-2003, 08:01 AM
its a good start.

1st thing is you've crossed the 180 rule in the beginning cuz it shows the character from the front then all of a sudden it just cuts to the back of him running so that will be confusing to the viewer.

2nd when the thin robot is feeling his broken back its too fast, slow it down a little so it looks like hes in pain. or make him bend, stagger then fall.


3rd theres another strange cut where after he throws him onto the ground and he bounces, then all of a sudden the fat robot kicks the thin robot. the problem with this one is the direction all of a sudden changes, remember that when u cut to the next scene the objects should be coming and going in the same direction they where in the last scene. what you can do for that is have the fat robot bounce the thin robot and then run and then kick him when the he lands.

4th this doesn't bug me as much but you should cut down on the camera movements.

but all and all its pretty kewl :)

rmatlchans
08-08-2003, 07:31 AM
OOPS... I didnt bring animation.. -_-;;

I just wanna tell ya thanks so much.

I think I could fix most of things that all of you had pointed to me.

BTW, I totally forgot bringing here where is an internet cafe.

next time.. would be on this saturday.. I will update it.

hehe~ here, this internet cafe is where i working at.

mehdianim
08-10-2003, 11:02 AM
sorry for the late input i just discovered this cool line of threads...:D
I won't add to the camera comments since you've had plenty and it's good.
I'd give a little more time at the beginning to introduce both characters. You've probably modeled them and know them well enough to recognize them right away but for us we need a bit more time to see what we are looking at.
Same for the action, the combo of the small robot doesn't register too well he should hold his extreme poses a few frames longer and you can do that without slowing the pace of the fight.
Same when the big one punches and then slams him: give the reaction a bit more time so the viewer can catch up and understand what happened, it makes it more satisfying to watch.
And finally the kick doesn't feel powerful because the small robot feels weightless. The big one's foot should make contact a bit earlier and then you should slow it by a few frames so we feel the weight of the small robot being stopped in his fall and then pushed back up.
Finally, at the end the comedic timing would work a bit better if the big robot held his victorious pose a bit longer for us to think he actually won but not too long so we don't have time to guess what's coming :D yes timing needs a bit of precision
I like your ending picture though and the models are fun to watch.
Hope to see it tweaked soon.

Dave Black
08-10-2003, 07:16 PM
I feel as though the entire animation is frantic and lacking in timing. The characters mover to quickly from one action to another. There needs to be anticipation and follow through. Slow everything down a bit. I agree totally with what the others have said about the camera cuts and motion as well.

The animation is not that bad, but it's all in the timing. Work on reducing the frantic nature of the piece, and you could have a pretty cool animation.

-3DZ

:D

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