CgTalk:Unofficial Writing Challenge:2 -The Souk

[Pixanaut]

I'm in.
I don't know how pretty it'll be, because I don't have much time to do an edit pass tomorrow, but I'm gonna try to get it cleaned up.



Synopsis:
A man goes to the outer rim to find a spice called srin. The specific reason for the search is only known to a handful of people. His secret may help save a people, and himself.



Do I post the PDF story link here?



The_Harkanaan_Gift_(Pixanaut_09).pdf:
File Too Large. Limit for this filetype is 97.7 KB. Your file is 242.8 KB.

LINKAGE (http://www.trialislandfilms.com/cgtalk/The_Harkanaan_Gift_%28Pixanaut_09%29.pdf)




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[Pixanaut]

deleted post

[Pixanaut]

Um... hello? Anybody out there?
All I hear is the crickets chirping...

[matsman]

Sorry pixanaut... my entry is nearly done... but the powerbox in my computer blew up (have replaced it in the mean time) so I had a weekend long no pc at my disposal. That's why my entry is missing, late... I will still finish this week.

And I don't know about the rest. I'll certainly ask kadetkebab... and some of the other guys, juniordebo brought the image in, so I wonder what happened to him.
It's a shame that there is only one entry in time, I agree.

[Pixanaut]

Wow, sorry to hear about the computer matsman.

In the spirit of competition, I think the deadline should be extended to next Monday, 12:00noon. I'd really like to see more entries come in. And if we're gonna start handing out trophies, there needs to be competition to give value to the award. Maybe a separate 'lone challenger honorable mention' or something if it ever happens in the future were there is only one entry.

[kadetkebab]

hey there guys. sorry for the delay. i don't have any intentions to compare with matsman's PC blowing up on him but I'm afraid mines is not ready either. I was in a car accident and had a lot to deal with this week.

i am still working on it and hope to have it up by tomorrow. Great story so far though Pixanaut. I start reading yours. OK guys.

[Pixanaut]

Are you kidding me? A Car accident? Are you okay?

Sheesh. Is this a bit of a cursed challenge or what? Glad you like the story so far... I hope you're not reading it from a hospital bed!

Matsman... bump the finish date if you want. If I'm the only submitter at this point, I'm okay with moving the finish date considering the chaos you both are going through...

[kadetkebab]

damn. you know what? i think this challenge is cursed. now my pc almost blow up on me. i was writing away when i heard a loud pop and smelt smoke. sorry guys was out of a pc all day yesterday. men this keeps getting worse.

well i managed to repair it and hopefully nothing else goes wrong. thanks pixanaut. the accident was a minor collision. im okay. I'll finally be able to lay to rest once I get my story posted on here. in the meantime, death has to go on hold. :)

[Pixanaut]

I am starting to feel left out.
I'm sure my POS laptop will fry itself next. I don't trust computers at all. I email each draft to myself, at one of my online addresses, just to be safe.

Good luck mate.

Glad to hear the accident was minor.

[matsman]

Wow... what a terrible week this was... Hope you have had the worst few days of the year Kadetkebab, just so that the rest of the year is going to get better. All compassion here mate!
Looking forward to your take on the souq.

I am afraid I am going to take a bit longer than one day... since workdays and weekends aren't the same where it comes to time I can spend on personal projects.

[JCork]

Can you post the winning screenplay? I'd like to see it. Had to miss out on this one due to lots of work to do, but I plan on trying to compete in one of these competitions soon in my free time. Thanks and congrats to all who entered!

[Pixanaut]

matsman and katedkabob have yet to post theirs on account of car accidents and exploding computers. Since I'm the only one who has submitted so far, I suggested extending the deadline until next Monday at noon (considering the week those two guys have had).

The extention hasn't been confirmed by them, but I'm assuming they've accepted it because of the 'it's coming' posts shown above.

So, to answer your question - in the spirit of competition, no winner has been chosen because we are waiting on the other entries.

By that rationale, if you'd like to do a story of your own, you'd have until Monday at noon to post it here. And it doesn't have to be a screenplay, it can be a story. Mine is more of a novel format.

Cheers!

[JCork]

Hmmm... That's tempting, but just getting home from SIGGRAPH 2009 and back into the swing of things will probably keep me from writing something that great. Thanks for the offer though!

I just bought a book about screenwriting and am trying to learn how to get my ideas out of my head and onto paper/the computer. Haha! I will definitely try and keep tabs on the next competition if it comes along anytime soon. :)

[Pixanaut]

What screenwriting book did you buy?

[JCork]

It's called How to Write: A Screenplay by Mark Evan Schwartz. I bought it because it's different than the others. Instead of being like a normal book, it is written in the form of a screenplay.

[matsman]

Hej!
Sorry for the radio silence... just finalising my entry. But I noticed the chat going on...

First.. I have edited the opening post with the new deadline (should have done that last week, still learning the ropes)

Second... Hi JCork, looking forward to seeing you compete in our next challenge... which I will try to start before the next weekend.

And third... the book looks interesting, they have it scanned over at google so we can have a peek at its contents (---Read: How to Write: A Screenplay, by Mark Evan Schwartz (http://books.google.com/books?id=PvdlElRqA1AC&lpg=PP1&ots=Pn8Z_-OTO3&dq=How%20to%20Write%3A%20A%20Screenplay%20by%20Mark%20Evan%20Schwartz.&pg=PA1#v=twopage&q=&f=false)---)
I'm always looking for that small part I still don't understand... so maybe I'll find it here.

[JCork]

Hey there!

And of course, right after I buy the book, I hear that it's on Google. Arg! :banghead:

[matsman]

it's not all for nothing jcork, google only has 22 pages... and ebooks are rather hard reading material I find. So your money was well spend I think.

Today a new personal insight: I am a weak willed failure and a lazy ass!
Basicly I had still 2/3rds to write of my 1001 night inspired sci-fi script. And I was completely set to write it till the end yesterday.
Then... Unannounced company appeared. And as things go I completely lost momentum and spend my weekend playing playstation games, cleaning and generally feeling hot and tired. Then this morning I was trying to get myself to writing but basicly I couldn't be bothered.

So I am a failure and accept all flaming. If you want I'll post what I have plus a few sentences on the rest of the story. And yes I feel like I let everyone down. :(

I will however make something of a rating system tomorrow... just for the sake of having it. And showing what my idea was.
I will try again for the next challenge. Sorry!

[Pixanaut]

FAIL!.... Lol

just kidding, considering your week, I think you shouldn't feel bad.
Now kadetkabab REALLY has to deliver... Lol

Let's get past this one and onto the next asap. I had fun writing, but I need more than 2 days a month of task oriented writing. The sooner we're onto the next one, the better.

Cheers!

[JCork]

it's not all for nothing jcork, google only has 22 pages... and ebooks are rather hard reading material I find. So your money was well spend I think.

So I am a failure and accept all flaming. If you want I'll post what I have plus a few sentences on the rest of the story. And yes I feel like I let everyone down. :(


That's good to hear my money wasn't wasted. I will have to agree with you that reading off of a computer screen and a book are very different. Books being my preference.

I wouldn't consider myself a failure if something came up like that and I missed a somewhat flexible deadline such as this. Maybe a class project of some sort, but I wouldn't sweat it. There's always another one that will come up! :)

[matsman]

Thanks for your understanding guys.
But the thing is, I could have done it... if I not waited until the weekend. And since I am the guy pulling this thing, if I can't even do it, then more people will fail harder. At least in my opinion.

But you are right of course, there is always a new one... I am just a bit disappointed in my own capabilities. Sure it was not a story I needed to tell, but that shouldn't matter I think.

Anyway.. life goes on:
This was my idea to rate the different stories on different parameters:
- edit... text box didn't take my formatting so I changed it around a bit
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story Title and Name of Author
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have one X for each line, 4= good 1=bad, use it well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story arc,
1 [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] 4

Dialog,
1 [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] 4

Characters/personality,
1 [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] 4

Flow,
1 [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] 4

Logic/Consistency
1 [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] 4
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You basicly just fill in an X in the appropriate box... the parameters can change per story, I just filled in some basic ones. The good thing about having only 4 points is that there is no neutral position and you are forced to make a better or worse decision. Plus that because there are only 4 (not 10 for instance) is that most of the time you have to use your full range to accurately rate something. What do you think?

In other news: For the next one I was thinking a comic book script, now I still have to find some images to be inspired with... but I wanted to check if it tickles your fancy. Because it is a comic script you also get to play with framing and camera angles if you like since it is usually written per panel. Or you can let yourself go and get the crayons and copy paper to draw it out if you will.

Greetings!

[Pixanaut]

For the next one, and all of the ones that follow, let the writer choose. If they want to write for a comic, fine... For a script, fine... For a children's book, fine... Adult novel, fine... Ad on the side of a city bus, fine.

If their writing tells a story, then they've completed the task. Why should we impose such restrictions?

This competition should be about making original stories. If we're tired of Hollywood's recycling and remake's, this challenge should be creating stories that could become something beyond the competition. I want to finish out this year with a bunch of scifi short stories and/or scripts. If you want a bunch of comic books at the end of the year, then submit all of your stories as comic books. This competition shouldn't be making that decision for the writers, leave it up to them.

So, did nobody else submit anything for this one?

Re: matrix
Good. Rate my story.



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[kadetkebab]

wait. give me one more day please.

I'm beginning to wonder if you and I, matsman are connected at the hip. I found it so hard to get on with writing this script these few weeks. i find myself with writer's block every time i sit to write. so i go drown myself in video games and TV. and beofre you realise it, the deadline is up. im forcing myself to finish this cause I don't want to give up. This was a big challenge and I was glad to see someone else take an interest and really put out a good story. So I don't want to disappoint.

just one more day! Please!!!

[Pixanaut]

Fine by me. :thumbsup:

But next time, firm deadlines all around.

Is anyone going to be reading these? Or is it just for us? I'd like to get some actual feedback... there's a bunch of stuff in mine that would be cool for the VFX guys to work on. If that's still something in the plans.

[JCork]

Fine by me. :thumbsup:

But next time, firm deadlines all around.

Is anyone going to be reading these? Or is it just for us? I'd like to get some actual feedback... there's a bunch of stuff in mine that would be cool for the VFX guys to work on. If that's still something in the plans.

I'll try to read them, although some personal struggles have come up, so I apologize ahead of time if I can't.

[matsman]

Sure... take the day... I'm curious. and a little freaked out by the lifeswap thing...

I promis to read both and comment on them too... was planning that anyway, but I haven't found time yet (got some translations to get through for a project)


Also I will try to find some cool images and ask the creators if we can use it here. I will try to go for stylised art this time... think cartoony mosters and happy colours. I will try to keep the theme/atmosphere rather mature when I can. (and while yes a friend om mine has been working on fairytale fights (upcoming xbox) that was not my inspiration. I just try to do different things. For creativity sake.

Also: Pixanaut I do believe in the fact that being restricted brings out the best in people. We crossed dagger about that in the other thread already, so I won't start anew... But will try for a happy medium between freedom and challenge. (meaning I won't just do what you proposed but pull it a little bit more towards restricted)
I haven't exactly thought about where that happy medium lies yet... but I will speak it through first. Note that in my world comicbook also incorporates graphic novel... so you don't have to do anything remotely tied to superheros or quick action packed hollywood crap :d, Okej? Its just that there are panels involved, how you fill them, I won't put any restrictions on that.

Can't wait to see your story Kadetkebab

[Pixanaut]

Also: Pixanaut I do believe in the fact that being restricted brings out the best in people. We crossed dagger about that in the other thread already, so I won't start anew...

Right... lol... how quickly I forget (sorry).

I do agree that restrictions force people to be more creative in some instances. But, I consider the fact that I'm writing based on someone else's images (rather than something of my own design) a restriction... I consider the page count, a restriction (I had to edit this story down to 12 pages in the end). Adding more restrictions isn't going to make me more creative, it's going to compromise the final product.

If the competition dictates everything, where's the fun in participating?

JM*O

[kadetkebab]

I'm sorry for the delay guys. I really had to force myself to try to finish this. I was going to submit an unfinished script but thought I should at least complete it. Anyways, next challenge I'm sure we're all going to be dedicated to.

I'll be sure to post my feedback on Pixanaut's story.

[Pixanaut]

YES! Congrats on getting it done man, finishing what you start is worth a congrats alone... thanks for joining me. I was starting to feel like I was out in the middle of the ocean, drifting alone.

As far as your story goes, I like the idea.

I think you've created a potentially compelling environment... I want to know why the person was marked for death, and why there was the betrayal at the end. Will there be payback and retribution if there was a potential sequel/if the story were to continue?

One thing I'm not sure on is the Father and Bautist/Woman thing... is Father a title of position within their organization, or their actual father? Maybe I just don't quite understand the very end.

Either way, there's more to this story that I'm curious enough about to read more, if more were written... and that's one of the ultimate goals when writing in short form.

As far as the technical/logistics of writing a screenplay, I'll try (depends on the subject) and do the next challenge in a script format so that you can see how they look. From the looks of it, you're using Word (or some other word processing program). If you are using Word, I know there are some templates/macros online for writing a script. They might help you. I've been using Final Draft for the last couple of years, and haven't looked back. If you can pick up Final Draft, I highly recommend it. I copied and pasted your story into Final Draft, and it comes to 9.5 pages without the title page (the PDF is 8, including the title page)... so you can see that when the dialogue is properly formatted, it really can affect the page count. It's also the reason why I avoided the script form for this challenge, because I knew that for me to tell my complete story, I had to use a literary approach in order to fit it all in... and even then, when I finally stopped writing, I had to edit it down.


Alright then.

On to the next one!

[kadetkebab]

Wow thanks for the advise. Yes I was using word and I hate using that. Frankly, I am ashamed to say I don't know how to handle word that well. And I know some of the technical bits of script writing were a bit muddled.

I was using Celtx in the beginning but was struggling with that. Frankly I couldn't be bothered to go through all the tutorials on how to use it. That Final Draft sounds like a good idea though.

And I apologize for the story. I was beginning to lose interest in the end and kinda forgot what I had in mind in the beginning and tried too hard to finish it and end up just closing the story without a proper closure.

(SPOILER) * The two ere double agents working for the bad guy the whole time. They are his daughter and son. And yes the son was betrayed in the end. Sorry I didn't elaborate further. Was in too much of a haste to finish it.

Great story too. I like your attention to detail. And putting a bit of your own alien language in there was cool. You're very good I must say.

I printed out the story the other day and was upset when I flipped past the last page. HAHA!! I was looking for more. I like that you told the story without having to go into much detail. Like the end- without having to read word for word what happened, we all knew what transpired.

Great character development too. I also liked how you included a lot of technicalities that readers have only to guess what you're talking about but still get the jiff of what you're saying. Like scrubbers and ion eaters. Love the detail of the world you created. I see where you had to cut it short.

I plan to go on with the whole story writing next challenge. I need to brush up on my script writing skills before I attempt another script. Great work though!

[Pixanaut]

Hey, sorry I haven't had time to reply earlier.

Thanks for explaining the ending to yours. It makes sense now.

And thanks for reading mine! I'm glad you liked it. :)



BTW, where did the Neo Challenge thread go?
And when does the new one start!! :P

[matsman]

Well finally we go on!

Here it is:
CgTalk: Unofficial Writing Challenge:3 -Morning Disaster (http://forums.cgsociety.org/showthread.php?p=6068290#post6068290)

I got really inspired by this image, it's different, wide open but also a little more subtle than the last one so I decided against all other limitations since the image is hard enough as a starting position I think so at least.

And for all you wanting to know where I was: I really wanted a few free days to spend with my family before the summer was over... And while talking with the guy who does the planning... it seemed I should do it right away since this week was going to be busy. So I took short leave and haven't been near a pc until work Monday (yes, I ended up removing a chimney pipe from the roof, isn't it always the same?)... when I had a soccer appointment with friends (took the whole night) and yesterday I partied on being invited to play rockband (it's really great!) with a friend who just started his own company, leaving us in the cold.

But I am back now, more birthdays coming up and some graduation party this week so I thought lets kick in and get this online... so everyone can get some idea of how to tackle this.

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