Old Building in the Rain

[SmallPoly]

Hi leerouse,
One thing that stands out that could use improvement is that your walls need some thickness at the top to be believable -- right now they're looking paper thin. Here's a quick paintover:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v394/rrimgeaper2/paintovers/leerouse_rainhouse.jpg

[leerouse]

Thanks velenosangue,,
I have taken on board your comments, and have also extended the image and added more bg.

All the best

Lee

http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/2481/oldbuilding2.jpg[/URL]

[Revitgnome]

There is something very striking about your first draft, the strong outline of the door with the rock in the center was very dramatic, and it anchored the imagery beautifully. There was in effect a window to another scene within the overall imagery. Only thing I would change would be to get rid of the explosion on the side of the mountain. The juxtaposition of a war torn building acting as the frame for a serene landscape has a great deal of emotional impact.

Your final composition, brings attention to the sky with the hints of warplanes flying by. Breaking the strong outline of the door, also causes the sky to have even more dominance, and in my opinion, for the purpose of what you are trying to achieve, I just don't find the sky very interesting. Correct me if I'm wrong, but your compositional intent was to convey the solemness of the bombed out building.

If I were to try my hand at your drawing, I would take your first go, add some thickness to the walls per Velenos comments, chip away some of the walls where the light is shining through, and build up the volumetric light rays and rain piercing through the holes in the roof...if anything that was a detail I really liked about your first go.

Ultimately, I think further developing your first composition would have created a very wonderful illustration.

--Cheers

[Kageko]

In your last picture, the wall seems to topple. That makes it look flat because you actually could look at the top of the bricks, but you can't.
Second, the wall texture is too harmonious, "stands" vertically on the ground contrary to the wall.

Since the focus is now set on the wide sky, like revitgnome said, you have to darken the joists. Their middle grey tone disturbes the dramatic effect the bright sky could have. That was much better in your first version.

Third, try to add some muddy colours to the shadow in the wall to make it look more vivid and to blend well with the green of the grass.

[leerouse]

Thanks for your comments,

I have progressed with the image quite a lot today, I wanted to further enhance the atmosphere what I want to achieve.

Many thanks

Lee

Without Rain

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/6793/oldbuildingnorain.jpg


With Rain

http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/1440/oldbuildingrain.jpg

[Revitgnome]

I wish I had seen this earlier. This changes my earlier critique! The silhouette of the child in the door is very striking, and now agree with the break in the rectangular shape of the door. connects the child to both the outside and inside of the building.

I can't wait to see the sky further rendered out. One suggestion though, I would still leave out the planes in the sky. I think it would detract from the mood of the picture. Perhaps the illustration can be the aftermath of a bombing raid. Would give you an opportunity to play with the atmosphere surrounding the buildings in the distance, maybe a bit of residual fire.

I think in the next steps, how you express the exposed rafters of the roof, if you go that route, will make or break the overall composition.

Can't wait to see more as you start wrapping up the illustrations

--Cheers

[leerouse]

Thanks Marcus,

I agree, I am going to leave out the planes, I am pleased with the sense of tranquility amongst something so violent.
Next, Need to detail and add the rafters.
Will update as soon as possible.

Many thanks

Lee

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